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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my daughter to my smear test?

43 replies

SuperSue77 · 27/06/2022 18:59

I have a smear test this evening and was discussing it with my 13 year old daughter. She was asking me about it and I suggested she come along and see what it’s like as I heard about women taking their daughters to demystify smears and show there is nothing to be worried about (pre covid though)
I haven’t asked the practice as only just thought about it, but just wondering if people thought it was an okay thing to do. I’m very chilled having smears so she won’t see me looking stressed or worried.

OP posts:
LadyLaSnack · 27/06/2022 19:01

I think it’s a good idea if you are allowed.

FionnulaTheCooler · 27/06/2022 19:02

I've taken mine before but that was due to a lack of childcare and she stayed behind the curtain and didn't observe the procedure itself, the practice nurse didn't have an issue with her being there though.

Mally100 · 27/06/2022 19:04

As in watch the procedure or just observe from behind you?

Clymene · 27/06/2022 19:06

I think it's a really good idea

Original poster
SuperSue77 · 27/06/2022 19:06

Just to sit near me and see how straight forward it is and to get an idea of it. Not to be down the business end!

OP posts:
FuncaMunca · 27/06/2022 19:09

Great idea

SpaceJamtart · 27/06/2022 19:11

If they allow it then yes it seems like a good idea.
I went with my mum to have a blood test and that made me less scared when I needed one.

gabagoulghost · 27/06/2022 19:20

This sounds like a great idea. Will the dr surgery let you?

RagzRebooted · 27/06/2022 19:22

It should be at the discretion of the nurse performing it. I do them and I'd be fine with this, providing she's at the head end. I would happily talk through the procedure and explain the equipment if you wanted.

Shmithecat2 · 27/06/2022 19:23

If the nurse is OK with it, I think it's a fine idea.

Mushroo · 27/06/2022 19:24

Honestly I think it’s a bit weird….

Im not sure I’d have wanted to go along to a smear. Would a dad take his son to prostate check?!

surely you can just explain without her having to be there…

DeadbeatYoda · 27/06/2022 19:26

I think asking the practice if the nurse is okay with that would be the courteous thing to do. It hadn't occurred to me to invite my 13yr dd but perhaps I should talk to her about it. Go for it.

Ponderingwindow · 27/06/2022 19:27

If she is comfortable with the idea, then yes I think it’s an excellent idea.

I actually wouldn’t be ok with a provider objecting to this. For starters, you are entitled to a chaperone/witness and should be allowed to provide your own. That your chaperone is 13 years old might be unusual, but she isn’t going to cause any problems and demystifying is wise

Nomad916 · 27/06/2022 19:28

I suppose it would be up to your daughter. It would've been a firm "no thank you" from me at 13 if my mum offered.

Cotswoldmama · 27/06/2022 19:28

Great idea, I'm sure she would be allowed I've taken my son's to all of mine since having them. I even had to bring them when I had my coil fitted as I had noone to look after them! They obviously didn't see anything and they drew a curtain around me. Theyve completely forgotten now but we did have a conversation about it at the time.

CredibilityProblem · 27/06/2022 19:30

Smear tests will be much less of a thing for your DD. She may only have one in her lifetime, maybe not even that, she might just have an HPV swab and only a smear if it's positive.

SueSaid · 27/06/2022 19:34

Poor kid. No, there is no need for your 13 yr old to be present at your smear test. A simple explanation will suffice.
Will she attend any physical examination other family members require too?

maddiemookins16mum · 27/06/2022 19:35

SueSaid · 27/06/2022 19:34

Poor kid. No, there is no need for your 13 yr old to be present at your smear test. A simple explanation will suffice.
Will she attend any physical examination other family members require too?

100% agree.

Undertheoldlindentree · 27/06/2022 19:36

I had to take my 8 and 5 yr old DS with me to 38 week pregnancy checkup as it fell in half-term. Thankfully they sat behind the curtain, but that didn't stop them shouting out that they wanted to come in and see when they heard the consultant asking me to 'bend your knees like a frog'! 😊Hopefully a 13 year old will be a bit more restrained!

Original poster
SuperSue77 · 27/06/2022 19:36

Yes, she’d had her first HPV injection, so hopefully will be less need for smears for her and her peers in the future. She wants to be a doctor when she’s older so she’s quite comfortable with it.
My twins were in with me for my coil
fitting but they were only 6 weeks old at the time - the doctor joked that he could see why I was having one! Not sure I’d take my 13yr old daughter to a coil fitting as it does tend to bring tears to my eyes!

OP posts:
Original poster
SuperSue77 · 27/06/2022 19:37

Thanks for all the comments, I’ll take her with me but ask the nurse if she’s okay with it, and keep her at the head end.

OP posts:
JiminyGlick · 27/06/2022 19:39

If she really wants to go, take her along.

But I do think a 13 year old actually wanting to go and see her mum having a smear is weird, if I’m honest. Can’t she look it up on YouTube if she’s curious?

XenoBitch · 27/06/2022 19:41

I don't know. I think it would be good to be shown it is not scary. I remember finding out about smear tests in school, and we were all petrified about them.
But then, smear tests are not a must.. you can out out, and I think that is important too

XenoBitch · 27/06/2022 19:41

That should say opt out, not out out.

SeemsSoUnfair · 27/06/2022 19:41

Explain the process and if she want show her a picture of the speculum online, absolutely no reason to take her and put pressure on the nurse to educate and explain an intimate adult procedure in a child friendly manner, answering questions while trying to judge how much is too much information, as she goes along during an already full appointment book.