DS doesn't fit in

[Jennybeans401]

My ds is in Y3 and his classmates are all into Fortnite and Roblox. They also all have their own phones.

My ds has no interest in Roblox or Fortnite, he plays games on his ipad but they are more Super Mario and cartoon style games. He's also quite 'young' in his interests and still loves his cars, films like Trolls, etc. He also has no interest in having a phone, ges one of the older boys in his class but I also feel it wouldn't be right for him yet.

He's very sociable but recently has been bullied by the others for his interests. He often chats to them about the things he likes but they ignore him. Should I try to encourage ds to play similar games to the others?

I wouldn't- I have a year 4 and year 2. Oldest started with roblox year 2 and Fortnite year 3. youngest also plays them because of big brother.
I'd avoid as long as possible and wouldn't actively encourage him to play these games unless he wants too.

Thanks, when I mention the games ds really shows no interest. He's happy playing with cars but all his friends have moved on from toys sadly.

My son was like yours, very young for the year. Still playing with transformers when others had moved onto FIFA. I worried about him but actually he’s 12 now and totally fine. I’m glad I didn’t change how he spent his free time to fit in!

Do they have phones in year 3 now? When my son was in primary it was year 6. It's getting earlier and earlier.

Find him some activities away from school.... Our local council runs a Lego club for example..

Don't try to change your child, you'll give him the message he's not good enough the way he is.

He needs to find his own way.

I have an older child who was his own person, from very young. He's happy with friends now. I think if I'd tried to change him he'd be so much less confident.

@tall1234 I'm glad to hear that, ds still asks for toys for birthdays and Christmas but all his friends get ipads and games.its really lovely seeing how much ds enjoys his toys!

@Shiningstarr it seems the norm, its a bit early for us and thankfully ds isn't interested in having a phone or the social media. My friend's ds is 4 and already has an iPhone!

Let him be OP 😁

my SS mum has bought him the brand new Samsung galaxy, he’s 7 and was one of the few who didn’t have one, he stopped playing with toys at 3/4? I think its far too young for a phone tbh. They all have TikTok/SC/Instagram now too, crazy really when they are still so young.

My ds is yr4 does not own a phone and its around 50/50 in his class for them he does play fortnite now thats a more new thing he was always minecraft loves his legos and nerf guns and soft toys I don't push him in any direction and he has his own little group at school now

My DD has just turned 8 in yr3 and no interest whatsoever in Roblox, Minecraft etc. Likes to watch YouTube kids making craft stuff and screechy girls doing make up but that's about it.
I think it's ridiculous primary school children having phones unless they are yr6 walking to school alone and if so they only need a basic phone and should switch it off when they get there.
DD still likes playing with Barbies and drawing pictures, I won't be discouraging that x

I'd be proud that your son has his own interests, fortnight', Roblox & phones are not healthy activities (although my 9yo does 2 of them). Definitely don't encourage him!

Can he join beavers / scouts or another activity to broaden his friendship group?

Definitely don't encourage him to play Fortnite if he doesn't want to - enjoy the fact that he has his own interests. Is it really true that ALL of his classmates have phones and play Fortnite? My DD is in Y3 and none of her friends have phones and by far the most popular game is Minecraft. The children are very much still into toys. Lots of lego, remote controlled cars, cuddly toys and barbies. Pokémon cards seem to come and go in waves of popularity.

@Moonlaserbearwolf yes I was surprised at it but they all play these games and have phones. They pick on ds sometimes and make fun of him for being a 'baby' and this has made him feel sad. Ds just like different things, it's quite isolating at times.

Mine's year 7 and has never been into fortnite- some of his friends were but not many - Roblox on the other hand they seem to have been into for a few years (its not particularly adult though) - but currently all of his friends are playing minecraft - which he's been playing since he was 6 or 7.
I wouldn't worry or judge- they are people who like different things- DS has friends that like different games and they don't seem to judge on it (they get irritated by one boy who only plays one game 24/7 - but its the lack of variety not the actual game)
at year 3 he was definitely still playing with toys- mainly lego-I'd encourage it!
I think trading card games - yugioh pokemon etc tend to kick in around that time as then.
Phones year 6 + - even in year 6 not everyone had them

@ellieboolou thanks, he is a good boy and today was picking litter up at the cafe we went to just because he said it wasn't kind to the planet! Like all kids he can have his moments but I love his personality.

I'm shocked children in yr 3 have a phone! Mine will be going into yr 3 in September and no way will he be getting one. Mine also plays with toys as do most of his friends.

@Notcreativeatall I always thought it was Y6/7 when they'd all start having phones but I'm amazed at them all having phones in Y3!

@GrandRapids that's interesting, it makes ne think maybe his class are not the norm. It makes me feel better to know other children ds's age are still playing with toys!

Your ds sounds absolutely fine and I wouldn't be encouraging him to change his interests at all. My dd is the same age and plays with toys. I don't know about her whole class but I know at least some of the other children play with toys too.

She sort of has a phone - her dad gave her an old one of his. I was/am not happy about it, but it stays at his house, we aren't together and she is at home with me the vast majority of the time. She also plays Minecraft and Roblox when she is at his house. She never asks to play them when she's here, nor does she ask for a phone. I would allow her to play them here if she did ask. I would not allow her to have a phone though. I think it's far too young.

Do children in year 3 actually go on social media? It's been mentioned a couple of times in the thread and I'm quite shocked. I can't imagine what social media they would go on?

Quick question? Why on earth does he need to fit in? He likes what he likes, so what. I would be approaching the school about the teasing not trying to change what he likes.

Let him be as he wishes. It's his life.

My ds refuses to play football, he just finds it boring and he's stuck to that through 10 years of school. He also has no interest in phones. I'm quite proud of his ability not to give in to peer pressure. 😊

Aw, that's so thoughtful and caring. What lovely child you've brought up. People like him always end up having tons of friends when the others realise how nice he is to have around. Just takes a bit of time for the others to cotton on!

I think that's really sad, not for your son but for the others. Year 3 is what 7 or 8? They should still be playing with toys.

I do wonder though, do you think those games are really for the children or something dad will play when the child is in bed?

@MintJulia

One of my closest friends has no interest in football, he's now mid forties and it is so refreshing.

OP

Your son sounds fabulous, fitting in is over rated.

Your ds sounds absolutely fine and I wouldn't be encouraging him to change his interests at all

I think getting him to change his interests to fit in could set a wrong precedent for his teenage years, when there will be a lot of pressure for him to do unwise things to fit in.

Maybe you could find some afterschool activities for him.