Partner or teenagers being unreasonable - covid

[Wearegoingtoneedabiggerboat]

DP and I came back from a short holiday on Friday, last time we saw DC’s was Monday. I tested positive for covid on Saturday and immediately took myself up to the bedroom and spare room and shut the door.
DP is staying downstairs, we are both NHS so I can’t go to work but DP can as he is testing negative.
DP happened to mention to the DC’s that he had a headache at which point they told him he needed to go upstairs as he probably has covid. He has refused as he is still testing negative and they are really short at work so doesn’t want to sit in the same room as me. As I said before we are both NHS and where he works is more acute than where I work and short staffing could result in cancer surgery being cancelled.
The DC’s are furious and have spent the last hour shouting down the stairs calling him selfish. To be far I can see if from both sides. Older DC is away on holiday at the end of the week and other DC has sporting event albeit 5 weeks away, so can understand why the want their dad to isolate upstairs. On the other hand he is testing negative and coming upstairs means there will be a high chance if he hasn’t got covid now he will have if he sits with me.
so my question is should he come upstairs or stay down and risk giving the whole house covid.

That's appalling of them, any parental help they're expecting for this holiday and sporting event would be gone!

DP has now gone upstairs and I have come downstairs into sitting room with door closed. Apparently they trust me to not infect them, even though I am positive and he is negative.

Obviously there is a lot more going on here than their fear of covid.

Why do they hate him?

Have they always felt like this or is it relatively new thing?

Have you and him always had a good relationship?

His job involves treating cancer patients, if those operations are cancelled due to lack of staff, and it very nearly happened to me last year, it's devastating. Every week feels like a month when you are waiting for treatment. They should be proud and supportive of their parents and get their butts into their own rooms if they are so concerned.

I wonder if they are going out to social events etc. where they could also pick it up but aren't so worried then?

And you are allowing this?

You do realise you are facilitating their behaviour, don’t you?

You've a bigger problem than covid by the sound of it 😞

Why do they trust you (testing positive) not to infection them, but think he (testing negative) will? Are they quite intelligent enough?

There must be a backstory here.

You could have included this in your original post and based on this I really wonder what you’re asking for here, advice on how to moment the relationship between your kids and Husband or confirmation if your husband should quarantine?

the fact you’re here in mumsnet providing a running commentary to strangers rather than addressing the issues in your house says a lot.

Your kids are being disgustingly rude/really ridiculous. Sounds like they need a bloody good talking too.

Easily solved, they isolate in their own rooms and order themselves a takeaway if they are so worried.

He's negative!

I think peoples cancer surgery trumps their holiday tbh. So your DH is in the right.

He's trying not to jeopardise someone's life.

Some people are being very judgemental/rude on here.

OP is obviously struggling.
Not only is she ill but she’s also living in a very dysfunctional home with teens who hate their own dad (probably for good reason) and she’s stuck in the middle or doesn’t like him much either.
Let’s remember to try and be kind.

They sound rather unreasonable, he’s negative after all. Like my mum said to me: my house, my rules. Plus they sound super hysterical especially at this stage

Just this, I'm a breast cancer survivor, my operation nearly got cancelled last year due to staff being ill with Covid. They sound selfish.

Sorry for the running commentary. I hate being stuck in the house and feeling really guilty for not being able to go into work tomorrow.
they say they hate him as he asks them to do stuff in the house and gets annoyed when they don’t do it. They have completely different view points from him, which descends into massive arguments. The latest argument was due to him calling, by accident, lia Thomas a he and that he said it wasn’t fair that they were competing in womens sport. They were flippin furious with him

They sound like they need to go on a "learn how negotiate and debate" course. And to find some respect for the person who is paying for the roof over their self entitled heads.

"furious?" the poor man is entitled to an opinion.

Why "probably for good reason"?

Well he's right, isn't he?

Your teens need to learn some bloody manners.

Sorry, but they sound totally ridiculous, rude, and disrespectful.

The teenagers sound like brats. They wouldn't have got away with behaving like that in this house, I'd have come out of where I was isolating and had stern words with them both.

Also, I've had Covid twice and neither dh or my 2 dc has ever caught it and we didnt' have anywhere for me to isolate away from them.

We’ve had covid in our house three times. My husband has avoided it every single time. To our knowledge he hasn’t had it at all. So it’s definitely not a given that your husband will also get it.

i hope you’re backing your husband up when the kids are pushing him around. That’s shite.

Their behaviour is pretty shocking and there must be some backstory here, but I can see why they are concerned.

Dh should be isolating and regularly testing, particularly if he has symptoms. I had Covid a few weeks ago and dh didn’t test positive until 5 days after me. Fortunately he had also isolated away from the kids (in the spare room until he tested positive) and we managed to keep it contained. One of dd’s teachers is heavily pregnant and ds was sitting his GCSE’s so it was important to us to protect them.

Your dh’s only concern is his work - understandable given what he does - but it’s pretty unforgivable that he doesn’t afford the same consideration to his own dc.

And how are you responding to your teens behaving like this?

They sound completely unreasonable and you sound at best passive and at worst permissive towards this behaviour.

There's no reason to think he has it particularly if the only symptom he has is a headache!

And the reason you give for them 'hating him' - because he asks them to do things and gets (quite reasonably) annoyed when they won't do them? And because he has different opinions on controversial topics?

Sounds to me like you should be teaching them some manners and respect.

Well, if your DH is now in the room(s) you were in and you're downstairs, it's even more likely him and the kids will catch covid now.
I wouldn't be pandering to them like this, it just shows them that it's okay to treat their dad the way they do.