BBQ and my washing is out!

[user2567]

Sitting here quietly fuming!!! We leave on a housing development, houses are all very close with small garden.

My daughter is back from Uni, and off on holiday in a weeks time. The sun is shining so I urged her to get her washing in the machine and on the line today, which she has done. A line in the garden and a clothes airer are visibly out.

My neighbours had visitors arrive, another young family and they were serving them tea, coffee and biscuits while I was helping my daughter hang out her washing.

An or so later I am indoors and see smoke billowing across our garden. They are cooking in their bbq, which is right up against our fence and the smoke and cooking smells are engulfing my washing.

They have every right to have a bbq, that's not the issue, you just have to suck up the smoke and cooking smells as a consequence of where we live but honestly at any stage they could have let me know before that started and we could have taken the washing in! Now it will have to likely be re washed.

The neighbour has just sent a text message to say oh we are having a bbq and your washing is out. I've replied politely to say it's a bit late to tell me now, if I had known I would have taken it in before you started.

But I am fuming, a courtesy text or even a word over the fence when I was hanging it up would have saved a whole lot of inconvenience!

I think she only sent the text as I went to back door when I first saw the smoke and they may have seen my incredulous face!

Normally they are good neighbours but they do have noisy friends with yapping dogs, which we try to ignore but this has really pissed me off!

I really don’t understand this… so you are mad because they didn’t notice your washing outside? Do you take note of other people’s washing when you go outside? Is there a checklist or something everyone should refer to before starting an activity?

Out of proportion reaction to this OP.

That would drive me mad, especially as they have your number, I always text our neighbour if we’re doing anything smoke related, even if their washing isn’t out - they may have windows open etc.

doesn’t sound like they’ve done it on purpose, just didn’t think about the neighbours before starting the bbq which is a shame :(

Amazed it takes some reflection for you to work out that was rude. Of course it was rude! I have never been spoken to that rudely by a neighbour in my whole 52 years, I would be really shocked.

And no neighbour has ever informed me if their intention to hold a barbecue and likewise I have never done so. It has never led to a fall out with the neighbours. But if I received a message like the one you sent, it would definitely sour things going forward.

I am with you OP!
But in my case, its a long story and BBQ is just one of the many nuisances that my neighbour pisses me off, they do F BBQ every other day regardless of the weather conditions😡
If they can do BBQ whenever they want, WHY cant I put my washing up in my own garden whenever I want?? WHY should I re-do my washings??? they get SMELLY!!! WHY should I shut all of my windows at 30 degrees outside??- ridiculous.
But again, my fuss is because my patience has got to the point when they shouted racial comments at me.
So I am moving out of my house as I dont want to waste my time any longer because of these idiots. (well, I still check this website almost every day to calm myself down😅)

Mine is an extreme case so if your neighbour is generally nice, its definitely not worth falling out over one-off BBQ😋
There are many people who suffer from their neighbours, yours sounds not that bad😚

I sometimes think MN is a parallel universe. I'm 50. I have never warned neighbours if we have a bbq, have never been warned by neighbours having a bbq and have never even heard of the concept of doing so except on MN. It's only washing <shrug>.

She was a bit thoughtless, you were a bit rude. No real harm done to anyone and no real need to let resentment fester over something like this.

Time to move on to the next drama.

Last year my then new neighbour called over the fence 'Just to let you know, we're having a BBQ later' to which DP replied 'Great! What time? I'll go and fetch some beers'.
I'm now dying inside at the possibility she was telling us to take our washing in, which I never knew was a thing.😮
(If she was, to be fair, she covered well, a great time was had, and we're now friends. I'm going to ask her though!)

I’d not heard of it until just now. I’m from the land of bbq’s…Australia ( though not lived there for years)..if you knocked on the door to say you were having a bbq, I’d assume you were about to invite me!

Absolutely brilliant. You must ask her and report back.

I'd say that the specific circumstances - very small gardens - mean that the neighbors ale practicaly living on each other's lap and might need to pay a bit more attention to keeping the peace. As they sent the message, just did it too late, they do agree, that warning would be a good idea...

Not unreasonable to be annoyed. No problem with slightly annoyed message, you weren't shouting at them, just wrote some words, and the communication was sorted.

I’d’ve got the hose pipe on the inconsiderate shits. I can only imagine if the MN have BBQ most nights they probably always smell like one & are therefore totally unaware of the stench 🤮

Utterly ridiculous. I have never and would never go knocking on all the neighbours doors to let them know we were eating tea. Who on earth has time for that...I'd also have to take the two toddlers with me. Honestly one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Nobody I know would do this, it's bonkers.

We have a similar garden and I would never think to be notified that someone else is having a bbq. If we get warm weather chances are one of the neighbours will. Yabu for your response to the message.

Telling someone "I'm having a BBQ so you'll probably want to take your washing in" feels like a really odd thing to say.

How many neighbours do you have to inform?

What if they say "I put my washing out first, so you'll have to wait"?

I can't imagine I would ever care if my neighbours had a BBQ and I had wahsin gout.