BBQ and my washing is out!

[user2567]

Sitting here quietly fuming!!! We leave on a housing development, houses are all very close with small garden.

My daughter is back from Uni, and off on holiday in a weeks time. The sun is shining so I urged her to get her washing in the machine and on the line today, which she has done. A line in the garden and a clothes airer are visibly out.

My neighbours had visitors arrive, another young family and they were serving them tea, coffee and biscuits while I was helping my daughter hang out her washing.

An or so later I am indoors and see smoke billowing across our garden. They are cooking in their bbq, which is right up against our fence and the smoke and cooking smells are engulfing my washing.

They have every right to have a bbq, that's not the issue, you just have to suck up the smoke and cooking smells as a consequence of where we live but honestly at any stage they could have let me know before that started and we could have taken the washing in! Now it will have to likely be re washed.

The neighbour has just sent a text message to say oh we are having a bbq and your washing is out. I've replied politely to say it's a bit late to tell me now, if I had known I would have taken it in before you started.

But I am fuming, a courtesy text or even a word over the fence when I was hanging it up would have saved a whole lot of inconvenience!

I think she only sent the text as I went to back door when I first saw the smoke and they may have seen my incredulous face!

Normally they are good neighbours but they do have noisy friends with yapping dogs, which we try to ignore but this has really pissed me off!

We live in a new build estate & in the summer, we bbq most evenings.

I’m really glad that I don’t have neighbours where I’d have to coordinate my dinner plans for the sake of the faintest smell of smoke on their washing.

Once you saw/smelt/realised they were bbqing, how long would it have taken to bring the washing in, and how smoky would it have been? Negligible.

Blimey YADBU. I am so glad I don't have neighbours like this, if this is the worst they have done, you are very lucky. Wouldn't bother me I would just take my washing in. Never occurred to me I had to tell anyone.

How high is your fence?

I do get it OP, but don't rewash your washing. Just leave it on the line and the breeze and sun will air it out

I'm with you OP, I've twice lived in houses on newish developments where people like to bbq often and mostly when I have washing out.

My previous neighbour would get their bbq out everytime the sun came out... this got as early as March!

Even more infuriating if you've popped out and come back to realise all of your clothes stink of that putrid smell!

Even though I've now moved, the previous frustration has ingrained a (unnecessary) hate for bbqs, I don't like bbq food and I don't own a bbq! 😁

The neighbours could at least show some courtesy and tell you beforehand though. And I think there's another thread on here about the lack of neighbourly decency recently.... add this to it!

Agreed. I used to live in terraces with tiny yards. Neighbours loved a bbq and “smoke billowed across the washing” … it never smelled, didn’t need re-washing, but MN are precious about their washing and anything touching it (don’t get me started about the ridiculous “darked on” threads).

In summer I like to cook most of my meals outside. Would I be expected to ask permission from you (if you were my neighbour) each time? If you have a right to put your washing out I have a right to have my tea outdoors. If nextdoor had washing out and they were in the garden I would shout over but at the end of the day it is what it is I'm afraid. Maybe you should tell them whenever your putting washing out... Where does it end.

I Understand your perspectives op. Basic manners really.

It's not so much the cooking and eating,.it's more the amount of smoke generated, and how it would make the clothes smell, that's the main point the ops annoyed with.

How rude was your text message! 🫣😱

So you think. I reckon they'll think you're a right cheeky cow and will probably do things deliberately now to annoy you. I know I would

Fuming over washing ? Life is far too short, save your worries for the big stuff.

There are too many of us and we live too close together. So we have neighbour issues.

If your neighbours regularly have weekend bbq's then a good way round it is to do your washing on an overnight timer to finish when you get up , and hang it up first thing. It's dry before lunch then.

YABVU, they absolutely do not need to warn you of a BBQ, and your text back was dramatic and rude.

There are not too many of us
People lived close together even when the population was much smaller - look at how tightly packed viking settlements were, or medieval villages. And then within the houses there were far higher occupancy levels.

Humans live close together because we are social creatures.

BBQs are not even that smelly compared to what people used to do - it was usual to cook all your food on open fires, burn coal, have bonfires. Plus the tannery down the road stank.

This with bells on! I would actually think your crazy

I'd be pissed off if my immediate ndn lite a BBQ or fire and my washing was out. We're friendly with them though, so I'd warn them and expect them to warn us.

Then my neighbours are all rubbish neighbours too because none of us take part in this ‘warn the neighbours before having a bbq’ routine.

So no, I don’t warn the neighbours either side of me, or the two houses on a different street whose gardens back on to mine. Madness.

Fgs, people have 2-3 months of summer to enjoy bbq's, noise outside, kids playing so leave them be. You get your way for the rest of the year. Why be so miserable.

Blimey, you sound hard work OP. What else do the neighbours need to warn you about? Noisy sex? Or is it just your washing that you’re so fiercely protective of?

I’m very lucky not to have any close neighbours because we are very rural, it’s not a particularly nice area, but it’s sparsely populated and it suits us. I’d hate having houses on every side of me because I might end up surrounded by anal retentives like yourself 🤯

I've never been warned my neighbours are having a bbq. I've never warned anyone myself. I've never been aware of anyone's clothes stinking of burgers. Calm the fuck down OP

If she’s anything like me, she probably either didn’t really notice/register the washing of didn’t make the connection between her bbq and your washing.

I think I’m a fairly nice, kind person, but I live in my own little world at times and don’t really pay much attention to what’s going on outside my little sphere of concentration.

if it was me I’d have lit the bbq then either seen you come out or suddenly clocked the washing and thought... shit!! Its not malicious, I just don’t have to bandwidth to consider all the variables in a situation until it becomes obvious.

and then I feel guilty.

I'd be fuming too but what's done is done. Just for the sake of peace and harmony with neighbour just wait till tomorrow and then have a word with her, just ask that in future would she mind letting you know in advance. But dont fall out, not worth it.

If it’s

The weekend
It’s sunny

Assume your neighbours will be having a BBQ 🤷🏻‍♀️