To wish I was rich?

[antelopevalley]

Not mega-rich. But to own an ordinary house and have half a million in the bank rich.
I have no family beyond DP and the kids. It would be so lovely to have a really good safety net, and to choose not to work when life is tough.

We've been so poor we didn't have a pot to piss in. We didn't eat so the kids could. It was a huge issue and strain at the time.

Now we're fairly financially secure but just have different worries.

Most people who are rich are that way because they don't ever choose not to work, even if it gets tough.

DH and I have a lot (both assets & income).

We could live off either one of us income (both 6 figs). But we don't make that choice because we are always thinking about the safety net, what if one of was killed, what if one of us/both of us ended up with a debilitating condition and couldn't work, what if there's a huge recession, we're always trying to ensure we'd be financially secure/the kids are protected even if the worst happens.

Of course there's a huge amount of good fortune to give us the ability to have those choices at all. But in this position, we make the choices like overpaying mortgage, living off far less than we earn & saving a lot, and it results in us building up assets

Money does eliminate many worries. That can’t be argued with.

We are both high earners. Though not banker level.

One question is would you want to do those kinds of jobs for the huge salaries? Certainly I would not want a job in banking as it’s not the kind of job I would find rewarding and aspects would not sit well with me morally. I have bright academic kids and I would be disappointed if they ended up in some jobs in the City. I don’t want the life I have seen friends have, who are bankers or partners in City law firms. Not for me or my husband or my teens. No way.

Hugely well-paid jobs (I am talking 300k plus) often require people to work crazy hours, especially at the start. Not see their kids. Fly abroad for meetings. Be at the beck and call of demanding clients 24/7. That’s not a life I would want for my family ever.

But for me, the difference is that I had choices. I had the brains, the background, the privileges to make my career choice and be happy with it. I chose to eschew a City career for something that I found rewarding and socially useful that was also well-paid. That was still lucky and not all down to my amazing skills and hard work. I am a very hard worker and have not called in sick for 30 years. But that’s partly luck too.

So many don’t have the chances. Yes there are a few lucky ones that people like to use as examples. But there are so many barriers to high-earning careers starting from the beginning of someone’s life. An abusive childhood, poverty, lack of role models, poor schooling, poor housing, lack of confidence, mental or physical illness, learning difficulties etc. These can affect kids’ achievements and aspirations in so many ways. It can take a lifetime to reverse the damage. And these issues can persist into adulthood. Also success in the workplace can be much harder to attain for minority groups; let’s not forget that in the City there is still racism, homophobic and sexism.

The few success stories don’t mean it’s possible for everyone (though it’s great to hear the positive stories and people deserve credit for their hard work). But it is in no way possible for many of those who have not had the same starting point as others. And it’s unintelligent and unimaginative to say otherwise.

Most of the wealthy people I know couldn’t just stop work if they wanted to - they are in high pressure careers where people depend on them and they have lengthy contractual obligations and long term projects. This is the reason they’re paid so well, and with that comes an enormous pressure and long working hours.

I think it’s possible for most people. DH and I have tripled our income in the last 7 years through payrises and having a small business which doesn’t actually take up a lot of time.

Well I have lived on both ends of the spectrum and it is eye opening for sure.

Please tell us more. I find this sort of insight so valuable.

It’s interesting as I’ve never been on either end of the spectrum, only in the middle. Which is very lucky for me not to have been poor.

Im not financially safe in the way you describe in the OP though - definitely have to always keep working to keep afloat as kids are expensive and I have a high mortgage. This is partly due to having to live in a certain area though.

I am judged more now for what I have than I was when I had nothing. Why not just judge me for who I am instead?!
Comments such as "I expected you to be posh but you are so down to earth". "I thought you would be up your own arse but you're nice"... thanks, not.

I have a magic house that turns trades people in to bad mathematicians when they come to quote so it is very time consuming sifting through chancers.

My true friends are the ones that were there before my life changed.

(Just to clarify, I didn't marry into wealth. It was personal growth)

I have people wanting to be friends with me to try and validate the illusion of their wealth. It is pathetic because they have no idea or care of other peoples struggles and I have no desire to befriend them and their ignorance.

I refuse to forget my beginning and therefore I help others. I know what it feels like to be hungry. I remember making a shrivelled quarter of a red pepper in my fridge last me 3 days.

To say it isn't beneficial in some ways would be a lie but it isn't what many have told me they imagine it to be.

I was rich once.

Then I lost everything, ended up on benefits at once point. Now at least own a home (in a shithole), but will probably be on the bottom of the pile for the rest of my life.

I am NOT happier. Fuck that shit.

People always expect me to say I am happier now for some ridiculous reason that only exists in their own heads.

Life was far better with a big house in a posh village, a range rover on the drive and not having to worry about every last penny.

I was born in a rich family. BUT in my experience, if you are making that half a million pounds out of nothing, you generally need to work in a high stress job. That was how my parents did it. Your expectations grow. A modest house in an average uk town isn't enough. or even workable esp if you are working all hours, you need to live somewhere near to canary wharf.

Half a million in the bank plus the cost of an average uk house (300k) converts to a terraced house in zone 3. And then you have childcare to contend with. You feel like you need to support poorer family members because they don't have your good fortune (my parents supported grandparents). You feel like you need to give your kids a good education because you can't imagine not having this kind of job so you spend money giving them all the tools.

Yes you don't need all the things that I just stated but at the same time, if the reason you are rich is because you work in this high stress job or have this high stress/risky business, what is the point if you can't even give your kid advantages or live in a nice area. And of course your purchasing power is small compared to billionaires and multimillionaires so you don't feel 'rich'

my parents worked from 9 am to 11 pm daily for the first 10 years of my life.