To wish I was rich?

[antelopevalley]

Not mega-rich. But to own an ordinary house and have half a million in the bank rich.
I have no family beyond DP and the kids. It would be so lovely to have a really good safety net, and to choose not to work when life is tough.

Money is like oxygen - if you have enough having more doesn't really make you any happier but if you haven't got enough it's hard to think about anything else.

Totally agree that having enough money to meet basic needs and have a safety net is it's own kind of happy, but if you've never not had that people don't necessarily appreciate it.

And I have had literally no help. I had to borrow money in my early twenties to pay a deposit so I was not homeless - had been living with a boyfriend but we split up. I had no one who could/would help.

My husband was the son of a council worker. He left home at eighteen for university, and from that day didn’t receive any money from his family. He’s now on the board of an investment bank.

Tell me please, how is he lying about help?

I left my country with the savings from my holiday job, a plane ticket to the US, and an offer for a low paid internship. I too am now on the board in my bank.

What hidden help am I lying about?

I don't know why it is seen as moaning to simply say you wish you were rich?
It is a fairly common wish.

@FemmeNatal the fact you think the son of a council worker is humble beginnings or the fact you think having a low-paid internship is humble beginnings says it all. You really really do not understand a thing.

Most kids and most of my cousins and siblings have criminal records. For many in my family being a council worker or having a low-paid internship is something to aspire to. Not a poor beginning. You do not understand your own privilege.

You, your DH and your staff will have a certain level of academic ability and skills that enable you to do that work. Surely it doesn't need pointing out that in order to make a lot of money, you need to have something of high value to sell to the world?
And no, no amount of hard graft, sacrifices and drive are enough without some inate advantage and an element of luck.
People who make a lot of money 'from nothing' will always have something, a skill, talent, level of intellectual ability or even physical appearance to trade. Whereas the vast majority of ordinary people do not have anything particularly exceptional to sell. They could research routes to get rich all day long, but wouldn't be able to follow them.
And that's before we even consider the additional challenges of life circumstances such as illness, separation, caring responsibilities, disability and so on.

People who say "money can't buy happiness" have never been poor.

Money buys security and that's a massive contributor to contentment.

I completely agree.

You find those who say money can’t buy happiness already have lots of money and don’t understand the worry and stress that comes with not being able to afford your rent or food or electric.

Money buys choices. Choices allow for happiness.

Simples.

What a load of old rubbish. Your family have criminal records because of choices they made. Now they live by their mistakes.

If your aspiration is to live in a council house, that is actually quite sad.

@Zeus44 you said the son of a council worker. Council workers can be well-paid.
If you mean he lived in a council house, one-third of people in Britain used to live in council houses. It really did not use to mean poverty.
And you totally missed the point. I was talking about how hard it was for me to drag myself into the respectable working class.
You are just another person from privilege pretending not to have any, and lecturing those who come from backgrounds you do not understand. I understand why people like you do it though.

@FemmeNatal I stuck at school and do not have a criminal record.

Did you have encouragement and help to stay at school and do your work. Did you have people close to you encouraging you to break the law or take drugs?

You are the one with no understanding of other peoples lives.

But I am actually quite annoyed that I let my thread be hijacked in this way.
All I wanted to do is a musing on I wish I was rich.

I still wish I was rich. I know I have a better life than many people. I know I have many good things in my life. But owning a nice house outright and having half a million savings would be lovely.
I would retire early.

Do you? Because I don't. These self proclaimed, self made, wealthy successful people, sitting around insulting less fortunate people on MN? If If i were them I'd be doing something a lot more fun than getting a cheap kick from punching down. Hardly living the dream is it?

YANBU at all but try not to let it make you sad. I would hate to be one of those people who says 'it could be worse' to someone suffering... but if you're not in actual poverty, there's a lot to be said for perspective.

Partner and I have a nice (mortgaged!) house and about £40k savings thereabouts. Two middling professional salaries. When I was young tbh I never imagined being anything like this grown up. I honestly thought I'd be living a bohemian life in a bedsit in London, or TEFLing around Europe living in hostels - basically I wanted my life to be one long gap year of following my passions, making ends just about meet and zero responsibilities. Obviously I didn't factor in getting older (or indeed having two kids). So every now and then i look at my settled, bricks and mortar house and our whole grown-up (quite stressful, far from luxurious!) life and think "wow, we have so much it's just ridiculous to ever worry about anything isn't it". Whereas DP went to private school where he saw a lot of privilege (poor background, parents sacrificed a lot to send the kids as thought it was the way up the ladder) so he's always comparing himself upwards and finding his life wanting. We're both looking at the same things, just from different directions.

All the self-made bootstraps enthusiasts on here can bloody do one mind you. Honestly the smugness makes my teeth itch.

@5128gap It is about the pretence that anyone can do what they did, and the only reason people are poor is because they are too lazy.

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen I know things could be a lot worse. That is the good side of coming from what now gets called the underclass. I am grateful for being able to leave my house without being worried it will get burgled, and for not having kids outside on the street who will shout insults or throw things at you.
We live in a reasonable house, have enough to eat and no debts. I know we are way better off than a lot of people.
It really is just a musing of how nice it would be.

What I occasionally like to do is imagine what we'll do when the mortgage is paid off (although tbh any extra money will probably still be having to go to support the grown up kids given the ridiculously shite state of this country's economy and its apparent delight in being shat upon by Tories). Just imagine, almost a grand, just freed up, every month!!! God I'll feel rich then.

www.nytimes.com/2022/05/14/opinion/sunday/rich-happiness-big-data.html?unlocked_article_code=AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEIPuomT1JKd6J17Vw1cRCfTTMQmqxCdw_PIxftm3iWka3DIDm8eiOMNAo6B_EGKfrdla9IimC6aT98EMLY3XP10w_REekZsREykq4eN3pQZJiF_4aSCYlQL5bOfF7Yp7W2tKWCjNOZ0wLD4tUrabTO-D_HA2SIrIhJi8cBgaQn8i3IXkq7GFbZ-2dYv3_whFYk6EWlbHFSCtvTiDB51Od6UPFqLukRtBbYvCXyElsWc6rkAbAxWFVnDKXt86m0749lZU8gFaOe9d1VzPZqj3shCTzBgP4yrBJYuRobLlLsMsbbFqhCEysTe1Oy2a4MXcLHFGINRsqie5mMy&smid=url-share

Interesting article on the rich not being who you think they are.

Happiness comes from within. If you gave me a million pounds tomorrow it wouldn't make me happier.

I totally understand what you mean. We are rich, probably more than most on here. A LOT of luck was involved but there is no question money makes everything better. I cannot relate to people on here not having enough for food or literally not have a fiver to their name until payday. Some people have v v hard lives that are not easy to just climb out of.
I think social mobility was easier before, when housing wasn't such an issue.
You are not wrong to feel as you do and to be honest anyone saying money doesn't make you happy is either lying or deluded. The only time I think it doesn't make a massive difference is when you are young or childless.

@5128gap It is about the pretence that anyone can do what they did, and the only reason people are poor is because they are too lazy.

It's narcissism. They believe that they are really, really special on some sort of moral, intrinsic level. That they are BETTER PEOPLE and that's why they have more. And they can't attribute any of that to privilege or luck or that makes them feel less special. So they indulge in the delusion that it was sheer hard graft that got them there, and others simply didn't try hard enough (because, you know, they aren't intrinsically just BETTER).

I wish I was rich. Compared to most of the world living in poverty I am. I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboard and running water. But yes it would be lovely. Everyone who I know has money are never home and always at work. I work hard but I'm not interested in having to spend every waking minute building something up. My dad wad always self employed and made a lot of money but the stress he was under made him sick physically .
Running your own business sounds great but in reality it's not. I'd rather have a steady paycheck and half a life. Lottery win would be nice though. Especially as just had to pay out for new washing machine dishwasher boiler car parts and shower. Ugh

YANBU OP. In the Uk the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. Social mobility is worsening.

Do some people manage to become rich from humble origins - yes of course. But the large majority don't. Hard work and self sacrifice is simply not enough for the majority of people to become rich in our society, any more than going without avocado on toast and takeaway coffee is enough to get you on the housing ladder.

To have £500k in the bank and own a house you probably need some combination of financially advantaged or well connected family, inheritance, good health, opportunity, luck, talent, hard work, self discipline.

Some rich people like to tell poorer folk that things are simpler than they are and that they could be rich too if they worked equally hard or went without some small everyday luxuries. That way they can feel morally as well as financially superior and that their own financial position is fully deserved.

It's clearly a harder life to be poor, if that were not so then surely rich people would give their money away.

Yes of course money makes a difference. I know we are unlikely to ever have the money to give our own kids a proper leg up as well.