To remove kids from school because of other parent?

[loosingmymarbless]

One of the school mums keyed our car in March because hubby asked her to move up a bit she was in 2 spaces. I have posted about it before but anyway she was caught keying the car by other parents. She then was racist to me and the other parents witnessed it and gave statements.

I am still waiting for CPS to charge her (if they do), but I still have to see her 3 times a day. I feel so flipping angry I only had my brand new car a week when she keyed it. Today she has been sticking her fingers up at me on the morning school run and on the nursery run at 12:00.

I was so angry i honestly felt like I was at breaking point! I turned the car around and asked her who the hell does she think she's swearing at. The school have allowed her to hurl racist abuse at me and damage my car.

I'm starting to think about changing the kids to a different school so I don't have to deal with her anymore.

AIBU? Or do I just stick it out. Unless she gets charged I think I will always be so angry about it.

That's awful :( Have you spoken to the police?

This is disgusting. I think you should report all ongoing behavior to the police

I'd think twice about moving and uprooting your children.

Why should you have to move? Keep a log of every time she harrasses you. Tell the school and the police.

Is there a decent other option for your children? How settled are they? How long do they have left? I've not seen your other posts, so a bit of context might help.
You are not being unreasonable to not want to deal with this any more. Sounds horrendous. But it will have a greater impact on your children, so I'd start with them. At some point for your own sanity you'll have to let it go and ignore. She may not get prosecuted, but you'll still be getting upset every day.

I would a) call the police b) demand a meeting with the school and c) make plans to move for the upcoming school year.

Life is too short to put up with this sort of crap.

I wouldn't move your children. Hopefully, they will charge the mum and then the school will be more able to do things at that point. I am so sorry that you have been put through all this.

If any of her behaviours are happening in school grounds, but even actually in the adjoining street, the school head should intervene and speak to the parent-along the lines of this being unacceptable behaviour and bringing the school into disrepute.

the fact they’ve done nothing says more about the school and how they will be as a setting going forward (I’d move for this reason alone-the measure of a good headteacher is how they respond to difficult situations). They may not necessarily have legal case to intervene but they should be challenging abusive parents

The key issue here is are your children happy at school? Do they have a good friendship group? I think you need to remember why you are doing the school run in the first place...for your children. The only time I would consider moving them is if they are exposed to the racism from this other parent and then I would want to know exactly how the school intend to manage this.
Racism is completely unacceptable and I hope the CPS do charge her. I would speak to the police about racial discrimination/harassment and see if they would be willing to charge her with this.

The school didn’t allow her to key your car.
I would report her ongoing behaviour to the police handling her initial crime.
Surely moving your kids from school is more dependent on how well they’re settled there, how good a school it is, what the alternatives are?

Bloody hell, what a horrible woman. Is it affecting your children's experience at school?

I agree you need to keep a log and report to the police.

The school have no power here all they can do is ban parent from the school grounds and slt collect the child from the gate. But this wouldn't help you as you'd still have to see them. and it's the police who need to be dealing with it. It's criminal damage and racism. You have witnesses so you need to keep chasing them.

If there was another school nearby with a space and my child wasn't fussed about the school I would move. No way would I want to face that hostility every day.

It's harassment. Report every incident to the police.

How awful. Honestly? I would move my children. It won't get any better, only worse and her children may start joining in against yours. She sounds unhinged and keying the car in public knowing she'd be caught would make me worry just how far she might go.

The school haven't allowed her to do anything. Yes it's terrible but the school isnt responsible for another parents behaviour. If your children are happy leave them there and allow the police to do their job.

How old are your children and how old are hers? She sounds vile and sadly her children will pick up her traits. If the kids are in the same year I would think about moving them. The last thing you want is this spilling over into the children being bullied or even aggravated by her children.

The police are so underfunded they rarely do anything to support low level crime - I wish you the best with them.

I was in this situation at the beginning of the year!! It's horrible and was effecting my children school life,I moved them in February and they have become such happier children.But the family still don't leave us alone still has to point at my house look in my windows ect the best thing I do is ignore it because I know its getting under her skin.police in matter wouldn't do anything even when I was told to lock me and my children into my house for safety.

This is nothing to do with the school. You can't expect them to manage parental disputes outside the gates - it's not like they have any authority over any of you.

Keep records of what she's doing, keep the police updated and ask them to deal with her for harassment now as well. If she's arrested, they can put conditions in on her bail.

Ask for a restraining order to be attached at court if she is convicted.

I would move your kids if there's a good alternative, as she's totally unreasonable and is unlikely to significantly change, even if/when she is charged with criminal damage.

You have one life, you don't need this hassle, your kids don't need you stressed.

"The school have allowed her to hurl racist abuse at me and damage my car."

This has nothing to do with the school.

Police. she sounds unhinged.

Report it all to the police. Update them every time she does anything. Anything.

When I say the school have allowed her, I mean as in they haven't taken any steps to stopping her from doing this. If she can key someone's car just because we asked her to move up what else can she do? We're outside the school and she's screaming pki and black f*er in front of kids. The school is allowing her behaviour!

DD is in reception and DS in the nursery but they both love it there and have lots of friends. But the thought of seeing her for the next however many years just makes me want to move them.

Her daughter who racially abused me aswell who is 14 has been sent to a youth offending class to learn about racism, if she doesn't keep up with it they have said it will go back to court.

Again - the school has zero responsibility for adults misbehaving outside their gates. You can't expect them to get involved in this. This is genuinely nothing to do with them. You might not like it, but it's a fact.

You need to go back to the police. They are the ones who have the responsibility to act here, but if you don't tell them it's continuing, they can't act to help you.

I wouldn't move the children if they are happy and settled.
I wouldn't be blaming the school for behaviour of someone who isn't a pupil and who isn't on school premises.
I'd be reporting her to police for harassment and hate crime.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds very upsetting.