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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Rent Arguments

70 replies

TheUnexpectedPickle · 23/06/2022 22:02

I’m moving in with DP. He part owns his flat with a mortgage and pays rent on the other part. The rest side and mortgage side are pretty much equal amounts.

we have been disagreeing on the split of the bills and both think that our way is the right way, so thought we’d take it to MN for an impartial opinion.

partner A thinks DP should pay the mortgage and I should pay the rent. partner A thinks this is fair as it’s what DP would charge a lodger if he rented out the spare bedroom. Partner B thinks this isn’t fair as we will be sharing a bedroom and I will have to put a load of stuff in storage.

partner B thinks DP should pay the mortgage plus half the rent while I pay the other half of the rent.

in both scenarios we would split all other bills equally, and take care of out own phones, cars and other personal expenses.

who is right?

OP posts:

Testina · 23/06/2022 22:06

The Partner A / B stuff is unhelpful - clearly you’re Partner B. If you weren’t, and were offering to pay all of the rent portion, he’d be biting your hand off.
We’re adults here, and if you spend 5 minutes on AIBU you’ll see you don’t have to conceal which side you are for people agreeing with you 🤣

Aquamarine1029 · 23/06/2022 22:07

Rent and mortgage? Who is the other owner of the flat? Why do you need storage if there's another bedroom and you can get rid of stuff you no longer use?

I think you should pay the rent and have use of the extra room. Why do you think your partner should pay more? What's the reasoning?

Yikesafhutt · 23/06/2022 22:08

Aquamarine1029 · 23/06/2022 22:07

Rent and mortgage? Who is the other owner of the flat? Why do you need storage if there's another bedroom and you can get rid of stuff you no longer use?

I think you should pay the rent and have use of the extra room. Why do you think your partner should pay more? What's the reasoning?

It's a shared ownership property bought through a shared ownership scheme.

Testina · 23/06/2022 22:09

@Aquamarine1029 "Rent and mortgage? Who is the other owner of the flat?”
No-one - it’ll be shared ownership, one person renting part and mortgaging part.

SpaceshiptoMars · 23/06/2022 22:09

Is it 50/50 owned/rented? Is the rent a bit on the steep side compared to other flats locally?

What about the housework, cooking etc? Does he have children he will be expect you to care for?

Yikesafhutt · 23/06/2022 22:09

OP have you got the funds to buy a further share in the flat I.e more mortgage and less rent etc or are you not looking to make that level of commitment. I think the storage fees are a red herring really. Get rid of some stuff (both of you) so you can cut those out. Then you pay the rent and he pays the mortgage.

middleofthelittle · 23/06/2022 22:09

Only pay half the mortgage if your getting put on the mortgage.

Pay half the rent and bills

Testina · 23/06/2022 22:11

How much is the rent portion, and how does thar compare to what you’re paying now?

Quitelikeit · 23/06/2022 22:14

If your dp would have rented his room out had you not been a couple then I think you should pay the rent.

regardless of that I think you should still pay the rent as why should you benefit from his home?

if it was a private rental you would be paying a lot more

i don’t see why you should benefit because yous are in a relationship?

and you are trying to benefit - because like I said you’d be paying more elsewhere

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 23/06/2022 22:16

Why would you pay full market rent to share a room in someone else's flat? And then have to pay to store your things elsewhere. That sounds like one person gets all the financial advantage, while the other is actually being disadvantaged. To be honest I wouldn't move in with someone who was so lacking in generosity. He is planning on having his mortgage subsidised while you pay over the odds.

JuneJubilee · 23/06/2022 22:18

How long have you been together?

what's the long term plan?

what's going on in the second bedroom?

how much is the mirtgagerent & how much are you paying now?

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 23/06/2022 22:19

Also you have even less rights than a lodger, they usually have at least some kind of contract and notice period required.

FemmeNatal · 23/06/2022 22:21

middleofthelittle · 23/06/2022 22:09

Only pay half the mortgage if your getting put on the mortgage.

Pay half the rent and bills

If it was 100% owned would you be suggesting zero rent then, so she lived there for free, only contributing to bills?

That doesn’t seem the right way to go.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 23/06/2022 22:25

If you moved into a rented house together, how would you split the bills? 50:50? Percentage based on income?
(Include the storage in the split).

Dont pay towards any improvements though.

SpaceshiptoMars · 23/06/2022 22:28

If it was 100% owned would you be suggesting zero rent then, so she lived there for free, only contributing to bills?

Let's see what is expected of her in terms of 'wifework' and childcare before coming too quickly to a judgement! That 2nd bedroom could well be for his kids EOW and 2 nights in the week....

Pinklady245612 · 23/06/2022 22:31

Option C. He pays for all of the capital repayment part of the mortgage, as he will obviously get this back if he ever sells. You split 50/50 the interest on the mortgage and the rent i.e. the money he won't see again. Will probably end up about 2/3 to 1/3 overall split

sittingnexttochoppysea · 23/06/2022 22:33

Sounds like you shouldn't be moving in together full stop if can't agree on basics like financial contributions.

Assuming you have similar salaries I'd say partner A is right but they should also pay half of storage costs.

Rent is always going to be paying towards someone's mortgage. As a pp has said, if it was 100% mortgage you'd not expect to pay nothing. And if it was 100% rent you'd be paying the landlords mortgage.

Basically living costs should be split equally once living together.

sittingnexttochoppysea · 23/06/2022 22:36

As moving in together assuming you think this will be a long term relationship. So how is it ok for you not to contribute towards the mortgage if the likelihood is at some point your name will be going on it.

70kid · 23/06/2022 22:38

My son is in this position as the owner rent /mortgage around £650

his partner will be moving in
my sons flat has a second bedroom and bathroom that he could rent out and easily get £650 a month for

No way is he letting his partner live rent free
and my son has put down a big deposit to bring the cost of the mortgage / rent down

his partner if they move in will be paying £450 a month and they will split the bills and council tax and stuff between them

no one can really expect to live rent free

PortalooSunset · 23/06/2022 22:39

If you can't agree, don't move in. Dh and I have always had a joint account, both salaries go in, all bills come out.

Igmum · 23/06/2022 22:40

What's your long term plan as a couple? What do each of you earn? Quite aside from the mortgage/shared ownership, which I think is a bit of a red herring here, I think in principle if you live somewhere you should pay some sort of rent.

This may be purely nominal (if, for example, he is a high earner and you are on low wages), or it may be quite substantial (if you are the high earner). For me the key principle is that both should benefit.

So sit down, work out the costs (mortgage, rent, bills, storage), work out your respective incomes and reach a compromise. Ideally you will get subsidised accommodation (cheaper than renting by yourself) and he will get something towards mortgage/rent/bills. The amounts of each will depend on how much each of you earns.

SpaceshiptoMars · 23/06/2022 22:42

his partner will be moving in
my sons flat has a second bedroom and bathroom that he could rent out and easily get £650 a month for

His partner won't be moving into that 2nd bedroom with exclusive use of its bathroom though, will she? She'll be warming his bed, getting 3 hangars in his wardrobe and cooking his tea, most likely!

SunflowerGardens · 23/06/2022 22:42

Option C just don't bother honestly it's not worth the hassle.

LauraNicolaides · 23/06/2022 22:43

Ignore what he is or isn't paying. That's up to him. What would be the market rent for a flat like that if you went to an letting agent? You should pay half that.

choolaboola · 23/06/2022 22:47

70kid · 23/06/2022 22:38

My son is in this position as the owner rent /mortgage around £650

his partner will be moving in
my sons flat has a second bedroom and bathroom that he could rent out and easily get £650 a month for

No way is he letting his partner live rent free
and my son has put down a big deposit to bring the cost of the mortgage / rent down

his partner if they move in will be paying £450 a month and they will split the bills and council tax and stuff between them

no one can really expect to live rent free

Sounds like you make the rules!

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