Rent Arguments

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

I’m moving in with DP. He part owns his flat with a mortgage and pays rent on the other part. The rest side and mortgage side are pretty much equal amounts.

we have been disagreeing on the split of the bills and both think that our way is the right way, so thought we’d take it to MN for an impartial opinion.

partner A thinks DP should pay the mortgage and I should pay the rent. partner A thinks this is fair as it’s what DP would charge a lodger if he rented out the spare bedroom. Partner B thinks this isn’t fair as we will be sharing a bedroom and I will have to put a load of stuff in storage.

partner B thinks DP should pay the mortgage plus half the rent while I pay the other half of the rent.

in both scenarios we would split all other bills equally, and take care of out own phones, cars and other personal expenses.

who is right?

Thanks for the replies.

To answer the questions-

I am partner A, I think I should pay the full rent, the amount of the rent is comparable to what I'd be paying for a flat share. I also earn quite a bit more.

The second bedroom is storage for DPs collections and projects.

We both have a whole flat full of stuff. We'll be getting rid of some stuff each and keeping the nicer version, but we will still need storage. We'll both pay for that.

We've been together 3 years, no kids, planning to have kids and buy a family home together in the next 3 years.

Oh yes, there's the easy answer. Silly me. I'll just dig out that spate 500k I've got lying around.

Why are you party to this information?
Those figures are very specific. How is it your business?

As it's his house, I don't think you should pay towards the mortgage or the rent.

I think that you should pay board. At the going rate a lodger would pay for a shared room.

He can decide what he uses that money for.

You should however split food/gas/electric bills etc equally.

And if he thinks that is unfair then I would seriously be thinking of not moving in with him. Being on a different page over money so early on in your relationship does not bode well.

I agree, which is why I want to pay the rent. Its comparable to what a housemate would pay.

He wants me to pay LESS money- around £200. I don't think that's fair to him.

I definitely want to move in with him.

If you plan to move in with him then take option C outlined above (where you pay half the rent and half the interest element of the mortgage - or whatever he'll accept) and put the remainder of your 'half' the accomodation costs (or the equivalent of what it's costing him for mortgage and rent if you can) into a savings account that you can use to add to the deposit when you buy a family house.

I suspect he's trying to protect his asset given you are just starting out and I can see that - and is probably what he would be advised to do here anyway. The savings accout will give you a pot to secure a share in a new house deposit or if need be a rental/mortgage deposit of your own.

I think the suggestion from a previous poster is fair. You split mortgage interest and rent 50:50 and he pays capital part of mortgage. You share council tax and all other bills and share housework eg cooking and cleaning too. If he would not agree to that I would not move in. You will be giving up your independence and be vulnerable as if you sit up he can turf you out with no notice.

I agree that no adult should expect to live rent free but I disagree that he should charge you as a lodger, unless you have your own designated room & a rent agreement.
When I invited my ex to move into my home, I didn't view it as an opportunity to earn a rental income.

He or she needs to be running away very very fast

When db’s partner moved in with him she paid half of what she had been paying on her old place. So they both ended up £X better off each month.

Db used the extra to make over payments on the mortgage and SIL saved her half. They then used the money to put towards a bigger house.

Your son sounds dreadful and exploitative.

He's basically using his girlfriend to subsidise his nice flat. You say he could rent out the second bedroom, but would he? And if he did, that would mean a substantial loss of quality of life for him, having some random living there.

Instead, he gets that same rent he'd get from a lodger, from a live-in girlfriend who will likely be adding to his quality of life.

What a user.

That sounds complicated but we'll have a look at that as an option.

Its not about him trying to protect his assets, he doesn't want me to pay what he feels is above the odds. I think he'll be happy with the idea of some of my share going in to our savings though.

Yes the plan is to split all the other bills, thats not in question. Neither is the housework, he'll be doing most of it.

We both agree with this. I'm not a lodger, I'm his partner. We plan on getting married, having kids etc- I'm not moving in for financial benefit for either of us- that's a happy side effect!

As it is you that wants to pay more, could you pay him what he’s asked for (the lower amount) and divert the difference between that and what you want to pay into a savings account? That way it could be used towards deposit on your new home together or something like that?

If you plan on getting married anyway then why not get married first? You'd get protection that way too.

Without having read the thread, the person paying rent should pay half of what the whole flat could be rented out for.

(This is assuming separate finances and it being the intention for each to pay their own way.)

The person paying rent to the other, I meant.

Yes, I think this might be the solution.

We can’t afford even a small wedding right now, and neither of us wants to just go to the registry office.