To not want them to go abroad..

[theunicorndream]

My ex’s parents live abroad. He wants to take our 5 year old and 9 month old over there.
I said I don’t want our eldest being taken out of school but as he’s older and been away without me before I am less anxious about that.. but my 9 month girl.. it’s been just me and her since she was 3 months old. He only has her 9-5 2 days a week while I work. She never stays overnight. I just can’t bear the thought of being away from my baby it makes me feel sick. They always get drunk a lot when they’re together and stay out until all hours, even when our son was a baby.. it caused a lot of arguments. What do I do? One of his parents is unwell (hopefully will be cured) which adds to my guilt but I just can't stand the thought of being away from my baby so young.

Since he's threatened to take both children even if you disagree, I think you need some legal advice. As a poster has said, there are places on line where you can get information. You need to know, particularly, how long it would take to get a Court Order preventing him from taking them abroad, so that if you and he cannot agree something together you know how and when to take action.

If he's the tight a--e he sounds like, he'll be keen to take your son during term
time, which as you say he shouldn't be allowed to do.

They will probably also be able to advise what age the courts might think is suitable for your baby girl to be taken on such a visit.

I agree with DrinkFeckArseBrick, best not to focus on how you feel or that you will miss her, focus on what's best for the baby.

It's not a long term solution but apply for your daughter's passport right now. Firstly because once you have done so and have one, he can't and secondly because it's likely to take so long that she'll miss the holiday anyway - and even if it doesn't, you could tell him it hasn't arrived yet... The delays have been well publicised enough.

And as others have said, he can't just take them without your permission. You were given a link above, print off that information and show it to him. Bear in mind that if you are difficult (as he sees it) about this now, he'll quite possibly do the same to you should you want to take them abroad in the future so it's definitely worth going along the road of trying to work with him. Suggest you build up by starting overnight visits here, see how that goes, and I would say a week away as an absolute maximum, definitely not ten days.

No way.

not even if he paid for me to go. It would take no time at all to take her/them somewhere you'd never find them.

He doesn't even have her one night a week, let alone several in a strange place.

he's DAYS he's going to take them anyway... he's not exactly putting THEIR best interests first.

id apply for her passport & I wouldn't give him any copy if her B/C (yes he can order one, but it'll take time). I'd contact any charities offering advice & a lawyer.

This.