To make this my hill to die on?

[Wills181]

My first post so sorry if I don't get the shortenings correct! I've been reading for a while but made an account recently.

My husband and I have 1 DC together. He also has two older children with his ex girlfriend.

We own our own home and are in the process of looking to sort wills and were discussing these recently.

I mentioned that it should be pretty straight forward as I'd like my 50% to go to our son and he can then decide to do what he wants to with his half (leave it to the kids is what he said).

He seems to have really been taken back by this and things it's horrible unfair that our son should receive more of the house and thinks we should split it completely equally and that's the only fair way. He thinks it's favouring our son to not do it this way and makes it seem like his older children are not as important.

My husband's older DC have a mother who also owns her home and does well for herself so far as I know. I obviously can't say what she would leave to them as it's not my business but I can't imagine there won't be some provision for them in her will too.

I want to stick my heels in really about this, it's going to cause an issue between us I can tell but I feel very unfair on our son doing it any other way.

AIBU to make this my hill to die on? Part of me feels like just going and arranging it in private and not telling him anymore about it.

Are you in a blended family where your child loses out because one parent has older children with someone else?

So it’s fair that OP’s child will get inheritance from two parents, yet the step kids will get it from three?

OP, YANBU.

That’s fine if you’d like to do that, sometimes people do, but the OP, and most people, don’t.

The OP does not regard her SDs as core family, and why should she? They have a mother of their own.

I don't understand this "treat them all the same even though they demonstrably aren't the same" idea.
The only children Equal to my children are my other children. I actually want them to know they are special to me, above and beyond all others. I'm their Mum, not DSDs. She knows she's special above and beyond all others to her own Mum, quite rightly. I really can't see the problem with this.

Yes it is a 'hill to die on' and I'd get your will written up now. Too many people leave it to chance, don't get round to it. Otherwise, if you go first, your half will automatically go to DH and then he'd split it all 3 ways. That's not fair at all and the fact he can't see that is worrying.