Employee stealing from a food bank

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NC'd for this. I run a food bank. I have a (paid) assistant Mary, along with lots of volunteers. My assistant used to be a volunteer, for context, but this is now her first proper job. She's on the autistic spectrum but very high-functioning. She is due to leave at the end of this month (travel, then uni). She's 19.

Anyway - I'm pretty sure she's stealing stock. Not donations from the public, but corporate type donations - bulk packs of biscuits, crisps etc. Always treat-y things rather than the (many) more mundane foods we have. Eg we receive two boxes of Dairy Milk at 2pm on Monday, I see them on the shelf, I head off at 3.30 and leave Mary there to finish whatever task - and when I come back in at 7 the next morning, one of the boxes is open and two large bars are missing. That sort of thing, again and again. On some of these occasions other people are in too, but the common denominator is Mary (and she'd always be the one in last/locking up). It's also extended to leaving the wrappers lying around on occasion, which is both dumb and infuriating.

Lives at home in a very well-off house, no expenses/money issues, no shortage of food - I'm quite certain. It feels, instinctively, like "teenage bottomless pit" type behaviour.

So:
Catch her out definitively?
Give her a vague but pointed chat about our stock and what it's for?
Say something before I wave her off at the end of the month?
Ignore?
Some other thing?

I don't think the value of what she's stealing is any great shakes, but a) really, who the hell steals from a food bank? b) theft is theft c) I trained her up and gave her a brilliant opportunity with this job, so I find it quite hurtful. I also would rather she learn her lesson now rather than when she's, I dunno, Chancellor of the Exchequer.

I don't have any other managers etc to bounce this off. I have trustees, who I suspect will leave it with me to make a decision as I see fit. WWYD?

I think it’s part of your responsibility as a manager to deal with this because in a work context this is stealing.

However, I don’t think it’s useful at this point to approach this as stealing, or to frame it as theft. You say you find it hurtful, but I think you’re getting into this at an emotional level that may not be appropriate.

She has some SN and either there’s a misunderstanding or there’s an impulse control issue.

I’d simply say “Mary I’ve noticed some treats going missing on a few occasions. It’s important to understand that taking things like that is technically stealing.”

If she denies taking them, that’s neither here nor there. I think the key thing is to get the message across firmly and unequivocally that taking things from a workplace can be viewed as theft.

Even if she didn’t have autism, at 19 I wouldn’t expect every teen to grasp that concept. Their brains are still developing, and given what you’ve described in her home situation, she probably isn’t used to thinking twice about helping herself to treats.

so I’d be giving the benefit of the doubt here but making sure as her first manager that she wasn’t leaving my employment under the illusion that it’s ok to help yourself.

I think I'd speak to her but try to also take into account the autistic spectrum (very high functioning) and also the possible eating disorders.

What she really needs to know/be told - that the stealing part of it is wrong and that if she carries this into other parts of her life (e.g. work/uni etc) then there may be other people who won't be so sympathetic, e.g. security guards in a shop if she tried to do this here and the potential effects on her future life. So basically, that stealing is wrong, no matter what the circumstances.

I used to know a teen of a similar age on the autistic spectrum who was very high functioning and he did know right from wrong but had to have things explained very clearly to him, he almost took it too far sometimes re right and wrong!

Or she's just greedy?

"Mary, I had a tip-off that someone has been stealing supplies from us, so I've been keeping a close eye on the stock. I'm afraid it's true. we have a thief. So I've had a secret camera put up".

Brilliant 😂

I think most teens, including myself, at this person's age would know that stealing from a food bank in this way is wrong. My brain and most other teens would certainly know by that age that stealing of any sort is wrong, full stop.

It depends if OP has spelled this out to her worker in very clear terms, because if she hasn't (and has sort of implied that she can take certain items) then of course OP has made an error her. But if she has made this crystal clear and there's no ambiguity, then of course the teen is wrong. But taking into account it's the first teen's job, so would also depend on how hard she comes down on her and also how much she should expect from her as a manager. If it were me, I'd be having a quiet word, not being too harsh but certainly being sure of what I said was true and in line with the Food Bank guidelines and policy.

Pick up the empty wrappers, wave them above your head and ask loudly who ate whatever it is.

I know she's only 19, and I know it's only a couple of bars of chocolate, but she's taking treats from a person who doesn't have money for chocolate. I'd ask her to replace everything she's eaten from her own pocket.

I think you are going to have to be more direct in your questioning. You can tell her that when you left there were X number of an item but when you returned there was y number left and ask her of she can explain where the remaining stock has gone? Of course this only works if she was the only person present in the time between you leaving and arriving. You seem to have good reason to suspect she is stealing and I don't think you can ignore it because she is leaving soon.

There is lots of speculation on this thread for why she might be stealing but I don't think they are particularly relevant. Taking things which don't belong to you is stealing whatever your motivation for doing it. She needs to understand that trustworthiness is an essential requirement for all jobs and it's better that she learns that sooner rather than later.

I'd do a general staff meeting reminding of the policies or send an email and collect signatures to acknowledge receipt and understanding. If it carries on, another team meeting explicitly stating that there are items going missing, this is theft and if it happens again the police will be called. If it happens again you need to make a judgement on what to do next. Probably nothing if she only has 1 month left but at least you are covered of it turns out not to be her.

Does she have issues with food? Is she noticeably over or underweight? If she's also stealing tubs full of biscuits sounds like she may be binge eating.

I can see this must be incredibly frustrating for you. I would have a vague but pointed chat, as you suggested, or just ask her outright if she knows what happened to them.

If it doesn't stop, get cameras.

She is. Shifts are short (4 hours max) and there is an area for tea coffee etc. We had biscuits for staff (in a labelled tin) but I noticed them all vanishing while Mary was in. As in, I come in on Monday - full tin. During shift - no one helps themselves (it’s a clear Tupperware type thing). But then Mary is left alone at work and they all vanish before the next morning.

Bit of a drip feed. Sounds like there could be an ED at play. Maybe her parents are policing her food intake and what snacks / sweets are brought into the house.

I agree.
I wouldn't confront her directly, but a whole staff meeting- say you have noticed items missing, reminder of boundaries and obligations to both the clients who donate and are in receipt of the food.
Tell the staff that you will be keeping an eye on cctv from now on, but hope the issue is now resolved

Overweight @yourestandingonmyneck .

Her performance lately has been poor - it was previously excellent - but I’d put it down to her mind being on uni etc. I’ve had to speak to her about timekeeping, not sitting glued to phone etc.

I’d put a notice up to say,
‘I’m sorry to say that treat items such as bars of Dairy Milk have been going missing. If this continues I will have no choice but to install cameras. Of course I’d much rather not have do this, so I trust that these very disappointing occurrences will now stop.’

Cameras

She's not going to fess up most likely, so cameras.

Absolutely with @2bazookas

I don't have any other managers etc to bounce this off. I have trustees, who I suspect will leave it with me to make a decision as I see fit. WWYD?

A bit late for my advice, which would be "don't post about it on mumsnet AIBU FFS".

I would have thought a socially aware third sector manager would be a little more savvy than that. This thread is going to go Goady Fucker-tastic come this evening.

I would never have one person locking up on their own not just for preventing theft but also for personal safety. Two people minimum.

I was wondering if her parents are policing food too, particularly with her mother being a gp. It may be that eating chocolate and biscuits is very frowned upon or controlled.

My DM did this, it's left me with disordered eating. I would certainly have, and did, eaten every yummy thing I could at her age.

Put a cheap security camera up.

I would speak to her, say you e noticed treats going missing and remind her that the food in the stock room is only for your clients. Maybe suggest she brings a few snacks in and leaves them in a safe place for if she gets hungry while she’s working. Not accusing but matter of fact and clear.

I wondered at first if someone has said something that has given her the impression that you are allowed to take a couple of things to eat while they working. However as someone has pointed out, she doesn't do it in front of others which does tend to imply she knows that she shouldn't.

You could put up CCTV signs and see if that stops it-just the threat sometimes is enough.
Or I think I might be more inclined to try and catch her red handed. How consistent is it? If it's every time would someone else be happy to come as back up, and just wait outside in the car (so you know no one else has been in) until she is about to leave and then both go in and speak to her.

I was just wondering about another possibility is that someone she knows is popping in to see her and taking something when they come. Either with her knowing or not. They could be doing in in a bullying way, or in a some -on no one will notice/mind type way.

I think for her sake you need to get it cleared up.
Either she isn't doing it (what if it's another member of staff setting her up, for example?) in which case you're suspecting her unfairly, or she is.
If she is then she needs help either to understand what she's doing, or for the compulsion to take it.

Otherwise she might find out how wrong it is at her next place of with a policeman turning up.

I would do this and if the behaviours carries on I’d then escalate it to having a word with her.

Speak to her about it. If you have photos of before and after... you do really have proof.
You could start with the assumption that it is known that she is doing this (so no 'accusation' stage needed) do something along the lines of
'Now Amy, you are not supposed to take or eat items from our shelves yourself but if you ever do, it is really important to give me payment for them or to replace the item. You've quite a few to pay for from the last x weeks. Make sure you drop the cash/replacements off this week and before you leave next month.'
If she doesn't - do send a reminder to her ( and wait for payment) before giving a reference.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs has it exactly right. This doesn't give her the opportunity to do any stupid lying-on-the-spot.

Reminds me of this guy I used to work with 9 years ago. He earned more than I did and lived in social housing, but spunked a lot of his wages on online gambling. Was often poncing coffee and cigarettes from colleagues in the canteen (always had this 'little boy that Santa Claus forgot' look). Even asking some people to buy his lunch for him. He even admitted to me that he pinched some cupcakes a colleague left out for her charity honesty box. Lowest thing he would do (actually admitted it) was have his breakfast at the homeless shelter.