To expect DP to change his shirt every day?

[Banana7]

DP works from home almost exclusively. I've noticed he's become very unconcerned about his appearance.
Today, he was wearing the same old shirt as yesterday, and he really smelled of B.O.
I think he should make the effort to at least put a clean shirt on every morning, and maybe some deodorant!
It's really off-putting for me, I'm super sensitive to bad smells, and I'd rather he smelled nice, or just neutral 😉...
AIBU?!

If he smells, obviously he needs a clean shirt and deodorant. Who would disagree with that?

Tell him 'By the way dear, you can't get away with two days from a shirt just because you work from home.'

I wear the same clothes for days now I'm WFH but I don't smell. If I smelt then yes I'd change. Of course you're not being unreasonable

If husband pongs, I've no problem in telling him. A simple you stink usually does it.

I wear the same clothes for days now I'm WFH but I don't smell. If I smelt then yes I'd change. Of course you're not being unreasonable

You really need to raise your bar. Honestly, unless you’re a pre teen then a shower, deodorant and clean shirt/ underwear each day is a must. You might not think you stink of BO, but at the very least you will smell stale, musty and not fresh; who wants to hang around someone like that?

You really need to raise your bar. Honestly, unless you’re a pre teen then a shower, deodorant and clean shirt/ underwear each day is a must. You might not think you stink of BO, but at the very least you will smell stale, musty and not fresh; who wants to hang around someone like that?

Here we go. There threads are always the same.

Clean underwear and deodorant are a must. The rest depends. It’s really not a given that people smell stale, musty etc after one day without a shower. This is one of those things where there’s mumsnet life and real life.

I don't leave the house and I wash and wear deodorant.

I am also disabled so it's a real chore washing loads of unnecessary clothes when they still smell like fabric conditioner. I don't smell stale. But thanks for your concern

And also pants. Change pants twice a day. But tops and bottoms / skirts. No chance

If you don’t smell, and the clothes don’t smell, wearing clothes once only is lunacy and a total overuse of energy, chemicals etc.

underwear of course, shower of course but absolutely no way am I washing clothes after one wearing if they’re not actually dirty!

This is one of those things where there’s mumsnet life and real life

In real life most people shower every day and wear a clean top. In the OPs post she was complaining that her husband doesn’t change his top, and smells. So that’s MN life covered off too.

In your life maybe but I do not know many people who wear all clean clothes everyday.

And there is nothing at all wrong with it unless you honk. And I don't know many people who honk so all is good

Christ, he's your DP, just tell him he stinks and throw a fresh t-shirt at him!

Agree with the wash everyday bit but I am not sure I agree with the fresh clothes everyday (or rather those not next to the skin). Yes clean underwear but if it is a jumper/sweatshirt/jeans then I do think they can be worn more than once.

Also to the OP, if your husband is starting to smell then yes he needs a shower and clean shirt everyday without fail.

In your life maybe but I do not know many people who wear all clean clothes everyday

I never said “all clean clothes”: I said clean shirt, clean underwear.

Ok then clean shirt or top.

Yeah it’s gross; tell him he smells and he should put a new shirt on

Isn’t daily washing and clean clothes something we teach children to do?

I did, but he was offended at the idea he was smelly 🙈... He thought I was being mean with him! He still hasn't changed in spite of giving me a half arsed promise he will from now on. TBS...

Are you going to stay with the stinker?

No she's going to leave him because one day he didn't have a shower & put on a clean shirt.

He's said that he will from 'now on'. Seeing what tomorrow brings would be sensible.

Disgusting and inconsiderate in my opinion and YANBU to be annoyed. Encourage your DP to go out each day, even for a walk or some minor thing, this may force him to make an effort.

@PurpleDaisies You are absolutely spot on here. Some people just really like to impose their paranoia on others.

Most people absolutely do not smell stale or musty in any way if they skip a shower or wear the same shirt twice. If they do, it's far more likely to be caused by the environment they live/work in than their personal cleanliness, eg having to store clothes in a house with a damp problem or where people smoke or something. I used to share a house with four other people with a range of showering habits when I was a student and honestly, none of them ever smelt unpleasant, ever. By contrast, I had a relative who showered daily and was extremely fastidious about his general personal grooming, but he lived in a flat with no central heating and a shocking mould problem so the poor bloke smelt like a crypt.

All you people who are adamant that people smell if they don't shower daily or wear a shirt twice now and again... I hate to break it to you, but the fact is that you have no idea whether the perfectly fresh and neutral smelling strangers you encounter every day in shops, at work, on public transport shower daily or not. Similarly, when you stand next to a stranger who smells, you don't have the faintest idea whether that's because they've gone 24 hours without a shower or whether they've gone a week without a shower.

OP, if your DP smells of BO of course he should put on deodorant and wear a clean shirt, out of consideration for you as much as anything else. That's a basic requirement along with brushing teeth and a daily wash.

Not unreasonable at all.

I wfh but I shower every morning, put on fresh undies, deoderant and (sometimes) the same clothes again! But I don't smell because I've washed. It's the absolute base line limit.

(If I were to go into the office though, I'd wear something fresh and clean not the previous day's clothes)

There is really no need to put on a clean shirt every day. I find as long as I wash and wear deodorant every day, I don't smell. Maybe it's just me but it seems on MN if you don't change your clothes or bedsheets every day you're dirty and rank.

Thank God I'm living in the real world.

I always tell my husband when he's smelly in the summer to refresh and put clean t-shirt. He always feels like he needs to explain himself (e.g. "I've been doing gardening" or so), I reply that I'm not telling this with feeling of disgust, I'm just informing him in a neutral way. Maybe yours won't take it too personally then as well if he knows it's just stating the facts.

My partner has been working from home since 2020, he has become so lazy and stinks most days, he will wear the same clothes for up to 3 days sometimes and not shower, it is so digusting. You are not being unreasonable