Pay my way with hotel stay

[Stacey8989]

So, to set the scenario. Been with current partner 6 months. Previous to us getting together his cousins wedding has been rearranged numerous times due to covid and the hotels rooms were booked and deposits paid.
I am invited as a plus one to the wedding night do, not the wedding or wedding breakfast as numbers were kept small for that.
The subject of paying the outstanding amount for the room has come up (only deposit has been paid so far) and we're usually a fair is fair go halves type of couple. I feel like I'll be milling around the hotel a bit bored whilstbtheyre all at the wedding and wedding breakfast as there's not much to do in the surrounding area

AIBU to think I maybe shouldn't have to pay half for the hotel as when it was originally booked my partner would of initially of planned staying in the room alone and expected to pay in full himself anyway? (Room hasn't been upgraded or anything since I was his plus 1)

I'm an independent woman and all that and we usually go halves just seems a bit weird when he'd of paid himself originally.

Have you been asked to pay half?

I agree, I wouldn't expect to pay for that and I am usually militant about paying my way. I'd make sure I paid my share, probably plus a bit, of other expenses around the weekend.

That said, I'd be inclined not to go with those arrangements.

I wouldn’t expect to pay anything in your situation, except maybe for a couple of drinks while you are there.

He has invited you as his guest, paying for the hotel is entirely on him! You would be at this wedding if it weren’t for him so it would be rude of him to expect you to contribute.

I’m usually a 50-50 person as well but in this case he should pay since you are only going to please him. It’s his family, you’re invited to the meal so you’ll be hanging around, and you won’t know anyone to hang around with. Actually reading that back I wouldn’t go. I’d let him go and enjoy himself with his family

Are you staying in the hotel room overnight? If so then maybe you should offer a contribution.

NOT invited, I should have said

Are you staying at the hotel? If the answer is yes then it's halves, if it was a last minute thing then it would be completely different

I’d be out and about doing something fun or interesting rather than languishing at the hotel! Make it worthwhile you being there!

Technically your actually get to use more of the room as you can use it to relax, slowly get ready etc whilst the day do is on.
Your DP will most likely literally sleep in it.

What has he said about it?

He is attending a full day wedding and has a room booked to stay in. He has invited you as his guest to the evening reception. Presumably he is extending that invite to you staying over with him in his room. In which case you don't pay.

Do you actually want to go?

What do you mean it came up?
He’s asked you to pay half?
I’m usually pretty vocal about 50/50 in early dating - which 6 months is not.
But I’d be embarrassed for him that when he booked it previously, has to pay it anyway, and it’s his family, and you’re not even spending the day with him, he brought it up.

I would most likely have offered something and been genuine about it - whilst still expecting him to decline.

But if it’s him that brought it up!

No I don't think in these circumstances you should pay.

I can understand you paying for your breakfast if not included, and going halves on the evenings drinks.

To be honest, given the circumstances, I wouldn't bother going with him at all. Why spend all that time hanging around waiting? Especially when you won't really know anyone else. I'd stay home and spend some time with friends or family instead.

You are tagging along to his event. He should be paying for the hotel.

No you should not pay half in this scenario.

Firstly, I wouldn't go of it was me. You would literally be a spare part at the wedding. Your boyfriend may feel he has to stick by your side all night rather than mixing with family and friends.

Secondly, you were invited post your boyfriend booking the room, if he has asked you for half, he's a tight arse.

No I'd not pay half in this scenario.

I wouldn’t even entertain going anyway. Milling around all day on your own waiting to be let in for the evening do? No thanks!

I invited my partner as a plus one to a friends wedding, he was my guest so I paid for the hotel stay. I think it's only fair in that situation

I wouldnt go at all. Bored all day waiting around and then you turn up to the evening do your partner is likely to have been drinking with his family all day and not be in the frame of mind for a catch up and drink with you.
Stay at home , save your money and reflect on your partnership.

If funds allow I'd offer a contribution but not insist if DP say no thanks. Oiling the wheels of the relationship are more important than the details of who pays this time. But that's with the luxury of not being too stretched financially.

I certainly wouldn't expect to pay and I wouldn't be interested in going anyway.

Hanging around all day waiting to join them?

Absolutely not.

Has he asked you to pay half?

If so, I wouldn't be impressed at all.