To be gutted that she's lost my rings

[QuestionableMouse]

I have a couple of rings that I wear, though not in the house. I keep them on a little holder on the kitchen windowsill (makes sense because I often use the back door to go in/out because of where I have to park)

My mam has been house sitting for me and has "tidied up" which means moving stuff round. (it was a work trip, for my new job, and we were asked not to wear jewellery)

The ring holder is gone, and I've just pulled one of my rings out of the hoover pipe. The other is nowhere to be seen.

They're not worth much money but have massive sentimental value to me. I've kept them in the holder for ~18mo and never had a problem. Feel absolutely gutted that one is damaged (stones missing) and the other one is totally gone.

She's blaming me for leaving them in the kitchen but they've been there for ages without a single problem until she started moving stuff!

YANBU. How frustrating and annoying. I hope you find the other ring soon. You know not to trust your mum again, or at least to put valuables away if she house sits again.

So instead of apologising profusely she’s blaming you?!
unbelievable.
Sorry I’d be devastated to lose something sentimental. I hope the other one turns up. It doesn’t sound like there is much point asking her to pay for the other one to be repaired.

Of course YANBU. How very careless of her.

Sorry op, something like that really hurts ❤️

Nice of her to 'tidy', but if I was house sitting I would only straighten, not move their stuff around. At most, if something was in my way out it somewhere else and move it back before they arrive. Some people express love in diff ways, was she trying to be helpful?

Blaming you is unreasonable though

YANBU. Why did she need to touch them if on window still? Very careless of her and to blame you for it is CF territory.

Send her links for similar replacements.. And take her key off her...

I get the rage. Recently my mum switched my freezer off at the wall, not knowing what the switch was for, cost me £300 in ruined food and claims it's my fault for not labelling switches in my own house.

Oh my god I'd be furious!

Blaming me is just how she is - if I say anything to her, I'm being a bully or calling her stupid, apparently.

Of I'm so annoyed on your behalf QM, especially with the "blaming me for leaving them in the kitchen" - it's your house, if that's where you want to leave them that's your decision!

Your household insurance should cover this.

The rings are obviously tiny but how big is the ring holder? I'm trying to imagine where that might have ended up and if the second ring is with it.

So where did she move the ring holder to & how did the other end up being hoovered up?

I've no idea! The ring holder is like this, only with a smooth middle rather than a cactus.

I can't find it anywhere and have a feeling it might have been dropped which is how the ring(s?) ended up on the floor. But I just don't know because she's not speaking to me and just keeps saying it's my own fault.

If one was in the hoover pipe could the other be in the hoover bag/dust holder thingy?

I was wondering if she dropped it when moving it & just hoovered the whole thing up?

Empty the hoover bag onto something?

This is why I get so cagey about people offering to clean my house.

Postpartum loads of people offered, can see they meant well, but stuff goes missing.

And then the narcissists come out and instead of apologising they place the blame on someone else instead. It's not the kind of stress you need.

If you can let it go, do so for your own mental well-being. If not, keep your mum at arm's length, especially if she's got form for this.

This would wind me right up! She's being out of order moving your stuff and blaming you!

Also the pic you posted has your name and postcode on !

My mum did that to us once when we were on holiday. Walked into our house and expected to find a dead body the smell was so bad!

Thanks! Thought I'd cropped it. Have reported it!

I second going through the hoover bag. Also the bin and recycling. My mum has a tendency to absent mindedly bin whatever she is holding she does not have a key to my house.

My Mum was banned from moving anything in my house, eve before I had a house - she had form when I lived at home for 'tidying' which meant if she didn't see a need for whatever, it found it's way into the bin.

Basic rule - move nothing, throw away nothing that doesn't belong to you. Anything else is unacceptable

I'd be reviewing ever letting her in the house unsupervised, she sounds really unkind.

Sorry you have lost the rings. Clearly it is absolutely not your fault and you are going to feel angry as she won't apologise.

I agree with emptying the hoover bag.

Do you have a kitchen drawer where you dump anything which doesn't have a proper home? Could your mother have put the ring and ring holder in there? Or alternatively, is there a dark corner that a ring which had fallen to the ground might roll into?