He’s ignoring the fact I might be pregnant

[inacuppa]

Told ‘dp’ last Wednesday evening I was a week late. Took a test which was negative and we have been using contraception (although I did miss a pill and can’t remember when this was). But told him I felt like I was pregnant and the only time I have missed a period is when I am pregnant.
This would be unplanned. We have an 11mo (and 4yo) I’ve literally only in the last week got my first full night’s sleep and feel as if I am getting a bit of my sanity back. I’ve struggled with PND and had a really rough time.

Anyway, on telling dp this he barely said anything and went in the garden to carry on with his jobs. I got tired of waiting and went to bed alone. Next day he texted me from work like nothing had happened and can’t see why I am upset that he has barely mentioned it since, whilst I am having sleepless nights and testing every day. Currently now 11 days late. I feel in limbo and I am shaking every time I go to the loo. Mainly now because it has made me realise I don’t want to be with him anymore and therefore another dc would be even more catastrophic.

I just keep thinking imagine if I am pregnant and he’s not even asked me.
This is not how a relationship should be is it?
He has form for being distant when I need support.
AIBU to be really upset by it?

You're on contraception and had a negative test - you're unlikely to be pregnant, so I see why he's acting like you're not pregnant, tbh.

Have you taken any more tests?

Have you done another test?

I would imagine to him the fact you had a negative test means he is assuming your not pregnant

If you are on the pill the "period" you get isnt a real period it's a withdrawal bleed and doesnt really indicate pregnancy. If you are testing negative and only missed one pill its unlikely you are pregnant

You’re not pregnant though are you?

Also confused.how you are 11 days late as the break is only 7 days so by now you should be on the next round of your pill shouldnt you? In which case you just skipped a bleed, it used to happen to me all the time.

See the GP. If you are not pregnant then something else might be disrupting your cycle. If you are pregnant, you don't actually have to have it.

All your DP knows is that you keep getting negative tests. That, to him, means you are not pregnant. Plenty of men simply do not understand women's reproductive health.

Yes I’ve done about 6 now!
I can see your points.
I’m just annoyed I’m taking on all the anxiety of it whilst he swans about with not a care in the world.
it is also probably logical that I’m not pregnant but I am so worried about it. I can’t even eat and was in tears about it last night.
prepared to be told I’m probably just really hormonal.

You had a negative test. Your not pregnant.

Why make something out of nothing? I'd react the same as your dp.

I agree with everyone above. Find out for sure and move on from there. Don't get worked up and it could just be a false alarm.

You are being very dramatic and emotional tbh and I'm not trying to sound cruel. But from his perspective you are not pregnant, he probably doesnt understand what he has done wrong.

YANBU OP.

The fact that this is worrying you should mean that he steps in and provides emotional support.

You've had 6 negative tests and you still think you're pregnant? Have you booked a GP appointment?

I don’t have have a break in my pill and it has never stopped my periods.
I’m probably not. Just kept reading stories on here about women who didn’t get a positive test for weeks as panicking. This has never happened (apart from when I have been pregnant).
I tried to ring go this morning but couldn’t get through. Will try again tomorrow morning

It’s always going to be different for women. He’s most likely just assessing the situation for what it is. Realistically, you’d be getting positive tests by now so it’s vanishingly unlikely that you are pregnant.

But you aren't pregnant, tested negative I assume you told him the test was negative. So in his mind you were worried, tested not pregnant so why would he ask again? He isn't a mind reader. Maybe talk to him?

Yes you sound very hormonal

I don’t really understand what you want him to do though, you’ve taken loads of tests and they are negative.
Did he not respond at all when you told him you thought you were?
Is it that you want him to tell you one more kid is great and you can make it work?
It all just sounds a bit odd since you say you don’t even want to be with him anyway, so if your relationship is rocky I can see why a possible pregnancy would be stressful for you both but at the same time it doesn’t even sound like you are.

What pill are you on? The pill stops you from ovulating so you shouldnt have any periods at all. Most women get a bleed in the break but this is not a true period it's just a withdrawal bleed.

I think he’s in shock; I remember when I got pregnant for the second time when DS was a year old and my DH just shook his head in disbelief and went back to tiling the kitchen (he loves our new baby now though lol). Why not pop to the GP and see if they can do bloods, especially since you’re 11 days late? I once missed a whole month (like 35 days late!) but it was because I was stressing about being pregnant. If you’ve got a negative test, then try and relax. You’re also likely tired and worn out from having 2 young children as well

You've told him you've done 6 tests and they're all negative so why should he be panicking? He sounds quite grounded and sensible.
As for you only miss a period when you're pregnant, I only ever got colds until I got flu. You can miss periods for all sorts of non-serious reasons.

if the 6 tests are negative then i can see why he's behaving like if you werent pregnant. if you've given bith not that long time ago, and are on contraception your body might just be adjusting to the cocktail of hormones hence the lack of period this month

Are you on the mini pill? Cezarette or something like like? Progestogen only? Irregular bleeding is a very common side effect. You’ve had 6 negative pregnancy tests. You’re almost certainly not pregnant. Wait another week and retest if you want. Don’t waste your money testing daily.

I'm amazed that so many posters are saying you are making a fuss about nothing OP. Imo YANBU.

A very similar situation was the catalyst to the end of my previous relationship. My then-DP acted like yours, and when I tried to speak to him literally said "well it doesn't really matter does it? It's not like we can do anything about it either way". It made me realise that he really didn't have my back and I didn't want to be with someone who was so emotionally ignorant. There were lots if other examples too of course, that meant I felt alone often, but this was the final straw for me. I have no regrets about ending that relationship

6 negative tests and you’re pissed off he’s ‘swanning round’ acting like you’re not pregnant. Because you’re not? Get him to double up on contraception by getting a vasectomy if you don’t want more.

Exactly and why are you shaking everytime you go to the toilet? You are being dramatic over something that hasn't even happened. I can see why he has reacted the way he did.