Grabbed on tube but I escalated

[Somemenarewankers]

I'm shaking a bit because I hate confrontation (and also wouldn't have acted the same way if I'd had more than 4 hours sleep).
Got on the tube just before doors closed (not at the beep beep beep) and the bit by the door wasn't too crowded for that time, which was pleasant. However, found myself suddenly standing in between the seats and realised I'd literally been moved there - hand on each shoulder. I don't quite know how he did it, but my shoulders were smarting.
I turned round and saw this enormous man - about 6'7 - staring at me and realised he'd moved me like a lamp. I shouted "You can't touch me!" or something gutters. I've got quite a rough history and the thought of strange men touching me makes me lose my mind.

He started shouting back in my face that I was too close (with insults (whore etc)). I said something then decided to de-escalate, particularly as it was only one stop.

But then I got irate that this man was walking around feeling he could just move women around roughly and shout at them. I did something stupid - tried to take a surreptitious photo. He grabbed my phone and threw it and lunged I think. Other passengers intervened- if you're reading this THANK YOU - especially to the woman who told me where to walk. I needed clear instructions!
So - WIBU to escalate a situation with a clearly unstable man and ruin loads of nice peoples mornings?

You have reported to the BTP, follow up with the photo.

On the Tube, when the emergency cord is pulled the train continues to the next station and then stops. It does not stop in the tunnel between stations - if it did the emergency services would not be able to reach the train in order to deal with the incident.

Distances between stations in Central London are often so short that even if the driver slammed on the brakes, the train would almost be at the next station before it actually came to a stop, so by continuing to the next station, the driver gets the train to a point where help can be administered and does so without making an emergency stop that would likely result in injury to the standing passengers.

it obviously doesn't stop in the tunnel in an emergency ffs - goes tot he next station

You were right to report him but don't expect the BTP to do much. They couldn't give a toss when I was repeatedly assaulted by a man

Also my experience when I was flashed going to help a man who I thought was going to jump in front of the train.

Which line were you on? Some of them have CCTV in every carriage so it would have been captured on video.

A PP is right, it's not what the emergency pull cord is for. It will bring the train to a pretty immediate stop. Not actually vet you direct help. And on the tube it will cause absolute chaos over the rest of the network.

@HeleenaHandcart I didn't know that. But I suppose on the tune it makes more sense to carry on to the next station.

Ugh, you poor thing. I had a similiar experience once, pushed myself onto a busy train in rush hour and made the mistake of pushing against a man who clearly wanted the opportunity to berate a woman, which he did, loudly and aggressively.

He was vile and like you I saw red and wanted to fight back. A very calm woman began speaking to me and talking me down and probably prevented violence. It was horrendous. You poor thing, your experience sounds even worse as he touched you. I hope you can report it and track him down, he sounds dangerous.

The passenger emergency alarm is there for incidents including this. OP you would have been right to pull the alarm if you feel threatened. The train will not stop in the middle of the tunnel so ignore those comments, it doesn't happen on the underground. What does happen, an alarm will continuously sound, the breaks do start to be applied and driver will override them to continue to the next station. You can talk to the driver and explain what has happened to get the police there for when the train arrives if needed. It will also not cause chaos on the rest of the tube lines.
If anyone ever feels threatened like this, the emergency alarm is there for you to press.

OP I hope you are okay at the moment, I can't imagine how shook up you were.

That is absolutely NOT what it is for and might well be classed as misuse of it. It is for emergencies such as fire.The last thing you want is to apply the emergency brakes in a tunnel and be stuck there alongside a man who is molesting you.

OP, I hope you are OK. You are right to escalate it. I hope the BTP do pay it attention.

Good for you. What a twat.

I told a man to give me some space on the train once. I was standing near the door, there were already two of us standing there. It was standing room only but there were only few people standing. Instead of going literally anywhere else he stood right next to me, with his shoulder leaning on me- it didn't seem like an inappropriate sexual thing, but more like I was standing in a more advantageous spot that he wanted to be in and he thought he could lean on me until I became uncomfortable and moved. Said something like "Excuse me - there is loads of space, do you have to stand right next to me?" He moved - right down the train and into another carriage!

From the tfl website:

If there is an emergency (such as fire, smoke or a violent incident) in your carriage, get away from the danger as best you can.
Use one of the red emergency alarms beside the doors to alert the driver.

If a person is violent towards you, then of course you should pull the emergency cord. This man grabbed the OP's phone, threw it and lunged at her. Completely sensible to use the emergency alarm in that situation.

Ah, the apologists are here.

I had a small bump when pregnant and travelling on the tube in 1993. However, six weeks off my due date a man felt my bottom. I turned around and glared, stroking my baby - who moved around when this happened. I had not a clue which of the men did this but a woman sitting down spotted who did and offered me her seat. She stood next to him and I felt she protected me and my gorgeous daughter.

How dare he do that! Has nothing changed in 30 years?

I'm sorry this has left you rattled. He's a prick - you're within your rights to try to take a photo to help identify someone who assaulted you.

You were only standing up for yourself. Stop doubting yourself now.

I'm not surprised you are so shaken up, it sounds like a really frightening experience. I hope you have been supported at work. It's shocking that no one here has any faith the BTP will do anything useful.

Standing up for yourself is not escalating a situation. I understand that arseholes like this man will interpret you being assertive as antagonistic and an excuse to escalate their unacceptable behaviour. I don't know how we address this, if we silently tolerate this type of behaviour in the interests of self preservation then where do we draw the line about standing up for ourselves; imminent death?

No, it won't.

The train will continue onto the next station and then stop. Obviously the train just doesn't come to a crashing halt.

The emergency cord on a tube DOES NOT WORK like a train. It doesn't apply the brakes. The train continues to the next station.

I recently reported an incident to BTP in which a bloke on a train shouted a load of misogynistic abuse at me and then kicked me when he got off. To my surprise BTP were brilliant. They took a statement and had found the guy on CCTV from my fairly shit description, which clearly matched the photo I'd managed to get of him as he got off the train. Unfortunately the barriers were open that day so they couldn't track him via his bank card and despite circulating his photo never tracked him down. The result was disappointing but BTP took it seriously and were really good. I hope they are as helpful to the OP.

So many pathetic men out there, that's the issue.

www.standard.co.uk/news/london/london-underground-sexual-harassment-crackdown-tfl-tube-met-police-b962637.html

Between 2019 and 2020 – the latest data available – there were 1,884 sexual offences reported on London’s transport network, the vast majority of which occurred on the Tube.

That's good to hear. My experience was a while ago and so I hope they do take it more seriously now

Did you miss these parts of the OP?

I'd literally been moved there - hand on each shoulder
my shoulders were smarting
He started shouting back in my face that I was too close (with insults (whore etc))
He grabbed my phone and threw it and lunged I think
Other passengers intervened- if you're reading this THANK YOU - especially to the woman who told me where to walk

Which part should the OP laugh off?

And I think you meant to type 'so many pathetic men out there', no?

Oh, OP. How can you possibly think it was YOU ruined people's day when this appalling, entitled male put his hands on you without your consent (that is assault, BTW), insulted you with sexist pejoratives and then stealing and damaging your property.

HE did that. Please, never, ever question your own behaviour before you question that of an abusive man.

I've been assaulted on the tube by a man pushing and shoving me too, and on that occasion it was also other women who came to my aid.

Do report it, for all the good that's likely to do. Women should not be expected to put up, shut up and tolerate this kind of thing.

Every. Single. Thread.

The whole lot of them can just fuck off with that noise. As for the comment to a similar tune downthread, if they are the ones willing to put up, shut up, roll over and capitulate to this kind of behaviour, then THEY are the ones who are pathetic. Not OP.