Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AWBU to not really bother with Father’s Day / Mother’s Day?

35 replies

Funkybananabread · 19/06/2022 19:50

As per the title really - DH and I just really can’t be arsed to do anything. Obviously we get a card but don’t get presents for each other (DC too young to get themselves!)
We treat each other to a family breakfast a few weeks after the event (too busy on the actual day) but that’s it. This year DC went to my mums for the weekend so we could have some time off (rare occurrence at DH request!)
We do get our own parents something small from the grandkids - it’s more that we both just feel it’s getting very materialistic and would rather not really celebrate.

Is anyone else the same?

OP posts:
dexterslockedintheshedagain · 19/06/2022 19:51

Totally agree.

Needwine999 · 19/06/2022 19:52

I cant bear all this mothers day, fathers day crap , everyone feels they have to buy something or do something, i hate it!!

NoSquirrels · 19/06/2022 19:53

Sounds like you do the same amount of celebrating as plenty of people - card, family meal at some point, DH requesting a day off from the kids! What are you imagining everyone else is doing?

dexterslockedintheshedagain · 19/06/2022 19:54

I feel the same about valentines. If you care about someone, you should show it all the time not just a particular day, and not necessarily by giving material things. It's just profiteering.

worraliberty · 19/06/2022 19:55

NoSquirrels · 19/06/2022 19:53

Sounds like you do the same amount of celebrating as plenty of people - card, family meal at some point, DH requesting a day off from the kids! What are you imagining everyone else is doing?

That's what I was thinking. It sounds very similar to the majority of families I know.

MistyRuins · 19/06/2022 19:57

I spoke to someone today who said he had to go because he was off to celebrate.

I asked what he was celebrating. I was thinking birthday or anniversary. Nope

Is it really something that people celebrate?

Yanbu. It's just another reason for retailers to cash in.

mizzo · 19/06/2022 20:03

Funkybananabread · 19/06/2022 19:50

As per the title really - DH and I just really can’t be arsed to do anything. Obviously we get a card but don’t get presents for each other (DC too young to get themselves!)
We treat each other to a family breakfast a few weeks after the event (too busy on the actual day) but that’s it. This year DC went to my mums for the weekend so we could have some time off (rare occurrence at DH request!)
We do get our own parents something small from the grandkids - it’s more that we both just feel it’s getting very materialistic and would rather not really celebrate.

Is anyone else the same?

This sounds like a standard Mother's/Father's Day to me.
We don't do gifts for Grandparents from Grandchildren though, DH usually takes his Dad for a pint and I either cook for mine or bake him a cake.

ItDoesMyHeadIn · 19/06/2022 20:04

It's a load of tacky commercialised crap. I do Mother's Day because I know my Mum loves it. But my Dad hates it too. As far as I'm concerned I have the best parents in the world. EVERY day is Mother and Father's Day and I always treat them.

Valentines Day is a load of shit as well.

worraliberty · 19/06/2022 20:06

MistyRuins · 19/06/2022 19:57

I spoke to someone today who said he had to go because he was off to celebrate.

I asked what he was celebrating. I was thinking birthday or anniversary. Nope

Is it really something that people celebrate?

Yanbu. It's just another reason for retailers to cash in.

Is it really something that people celebrate?

Have you never seen how busy restaurants are on Father's Day/Mother's Day?

Honestly? I mean even if you don't frequent them you must see the advertising?

froomeonthebroom · 19/06/2022 20:14

My kids get us a card and small present, helped by the other parent. This year DH got a t shirt and I had chocolate. In the past DH has had the tour de France magazine, I've had hand cream. We try to mark the occasion but not go mad. We do the same for our own parents.

MistyRuins · 19/06/2022 20:16

worraliberty · 19/06/2022 20:06

Is it really something that people celebrate?

Have you never seen how busy restaurants are on Father's Day/Mother's Day?

Honestly? I mean even if you don't frequent them you must see the advertising?

Show quote history

Of course I know people go out for a meal for mother's day etc. But his style of celebrating is buying a case of lager to drink (he had one with him, and a bag full of snacks, the implication was that was what he would be celebrating with). And it was really more the terminology. Do people say 'I'm away to celebrate' when it's something like mother's day/father's day? I've never heard anyone say that before.

DustyTulips · 19/06/2022 20:18

I do literally nothing. No card, no meal. Just not something I would ever think to do. We don’t celebrate wedding anniversaries either, and do very little for adult birthdays - just not something either of us care about.

Fizbosshoes · 19/06/2022 20:19

My kids are older now I have to admit I was slightly miffed during the first few years where mothers day wasn't acknowledged at all. However we only do cards and small gifts. This year DH worked both mothers day and fathers day, and we haven't really "celebrated" them, as such

snowmanshoes · 19/06/2022 20:22

I understand - we’re both happy with just a card and a cup of tea or coffee! I did get a cheesecake in lol 😂

Original poster
Funkybananabread · 19/06/2022 21:36

Glad it’s not just us then 😊
I don’t think I’m imagining that is a big thing - it’s all the gushing Facebook posts (I know - social media!!) and some of our friends just seem to be very extravagant on the gift front compared to us.
DustyTulips we don’t do anniversaries either!

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 19/06/2022 21:38

I’ve never celebrated my wedding anniversaries. Had the 25th in lockdown, so that was that !
And yes, I wish mother’s/Father’s Day would go away.

daisyjgrey · 19/06/2022 23:48

DustyTulips · 19/06/2022 20:18

I do literally nothing. No card, no meal. Just not something I would ever think to do. We don’t celebrate wedding anniversaries either, and do very little for adult birthdays - just not something either of us care about.

How incredibly joyless.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 20/06/2022 00:14

Well we never used to mark Father’s Day when I was young (I’m 51 now) and so still don’t, and my dad doesn’t expect it…or if he does, his disappointment is well hidden! Mother Sunday was always marked, and I continue to to do so as well as for my MIL since my husband died. But it only goes as far as a card, and some flowers for my mum. They might come for lunch some years, but I’d hardly say we celebrate it.

Sceptre86 · 20/06/2022 01:06

What do you celebrate? It's different strokes for different folks. I'm at the other end in that I do make cards with the kids, treat dh to lunch or make a special dinner. My kids are too young to buy presents for their dad but I got him something he had asked for. There isn't any gushing posts on Facebook because neither my dad or dh are on it. I always buy my dad something from the kids and something from mysel.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 20/06/2022 01:40

My own mum and MIL by far expect the biggest fuss made of them on mothers day. It drives me mad, and DH always ends up spending a fortune sending MIL a bunch of flowers because we don’t live locally and he only remembers a few days before. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I don't get involved beyond buying an extra card during the supermarket shop

DH and I don't expect anything other than a card and a box of sweets. I do love the things nursery makes with the kids, usually just a really nice card, but just more creative than we do at home!

mackthepony · 20/06/2022 01:56

I agree.

It's just something else to sort out

Oizys · 20/06/2022 02:12

We’re don’t make a massive fuss. It’s fine if people want to because everyone celebrates things differently but DH & I are just low key kinda people

We get a card and my eldest it is old enough to get us presents with his pocket money but we’ve told him we don’t expect anything. DH wanted a sausage and bacon bap in honour of Father’s Day so that was our “celebration” today.

NumberTheory · 20/06/2022 03:36

I dislike Mother's day. There is nothing about the way it's been framed or promoted (by commercial and non-commercial institutions) that I like. My own mum was very half-hearted about it too, so it's not something that was much a part of my childhood either. DH is the same on Father's day. So we don't do it.

We also don't do wedding anniversaries really. Or Valentine's day.

We're not joyless, though. We often celebrate. We just choose the things we want to celebrate instead of sticking to stuff that doesn't really do it for us.

Bednobsbroomsticks · 20/06/2022 05:42

I make a fuss of Dh with the kids cause they enjoy it. I'm not arsed about mothers day but again the kids love giving presents even now they're older. I keep all their cards though. Nice memories to look back on one day.

DyingForACuppa · 20/06/2022 05:59

I make sure the kids make a card for father's day. That's about it.

And I post my own dad a card.