Hearing ‘I’m so tired’ every night

[Sickofhearingit77]

Dp, that’s all he ever says, I’ve realised he says that in the same voice nearly every night after work and at weekends, either that or he feels ill.
Even Dd, 4 asks me if daddy will be too tired to play tonight/this weekend on a regular basis. He mainly says to her ‘I’m sitting down for a minute’ but *All the time.
I get it, I’m tired too…but this is life, isn’t it?
I’m realising just how negative he is, he just doesn’t seem to see the positive in things or want to embrace things and have a good time…ever.
Fathers day was miserable, I made lots of things with Dd and packed a picnic to take on a boat trip to an island. He was late getting ready and moaning about, being tired, clearly didn’t want to go and spent the rest of the day being irritable with dd

Anyone in a similar predicament?

You are putting a lot of your own feelings on what 'he should feel', you want him to feel this or that, and you wanted him to experience a fathers day which wasnt really in line with what he actually enjoyed

However, sounds to me very much like he is self medicating some underlying other issues, perhaps anxiety, perhaps ADHD type traits, perhaps early trauma, sleep patterns are a big indicator of that

I get you op - it gets exhausting just hearing it. Especially as he's not too tired to do stuff he really wants to do - but far too tired to do the boring shit.

No advice really.

He has weird mood swings too…he’ll be more relaxed and happier for a few days then might have a few days of just being pretty horrible

Even if it is a medical condition, he won't see a gp. It's not the op's job to fix it for him or put up with it. You don't have to live your life with a moaner.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow But I’ve given him the chance to lie in on weekend mornings, he said he can’t and literally wakes up really early and immediately gets up, he can’t relax or just chill out. I’d so love him to just wake up and cuddle with Dd and I and be relaxed

Alas this is typical of bad insomnia. Typical. If you don’t get enough sleep your body produces too much cortisol (stress hormone) which makes it harder to sleep and makes you more and more uptight. And it becomes a vicious circle. I used to long to sleep in, but zing! I’d be wide awake at 5.00 and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was tired, knackered and honestly felt wired and really ill a lot of the time. Chronic insomnia is the pits.

He needs help.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow What helped you? Don’t love the thought of sleeping tablets.
Dont you think he’d help himself if he wasn’t drinking so much coffee though? I mean surely that has an impact, but he doesn’t stop if I say that could be making it worse

No caffeine after 2.00 pm. Includes decaf, chocolate and coke. Black out blinds. Go to bed when feels sleepy. Exercise before 2.00pm.

l took a low dose sedative anti depressants for about 15 years. It literally transformed my life.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow What was the name of it? Are you just able to sleep better now? Did you have anxiety etc
Glad you’re much better!

Do a bit of reading around tiredness and then sit him down for a self help chat over a coffee 😄, he needs to start fixing this.

The ones that make you sleep are

Amitryptiline
Trazadone
Mirtazapine.

They will all help with anxiety too. My life changed by 100% when l stated them. I never felt tired, l had energy to do stuff and go places. Transforming really

Agomelatine (aka Domion) makes you sleep but doesn't make you fat like mirtazapine does. I'm in Aus but assume you can get it in UK.