Hearing ‘I’m so tired’ every night

[Sickofhearingit77]

Dp, that’s all he ever says, I’ve realised he says that in the same voice nearly every night after work and at weekends, either that or he feels ill.
Even Dd, 4 asks me if daddy will be too tired to play tonight/this weekend on a regular basis. He mainly says to her ‘I’m sitting down for a minute’ but *All the time.
I get it, I’m tired too…but this is life, isn’t it?
I’m realising just how negative he is, he just doesn’t seem to see the positive in things or want to embrace things and have a good time…ever.
Fathers day was miserable, I made lots of things with Dd and packed a picnic to take on a boat trip to an island. He was late getting ready and moaning about, being tired, clearly didn’t want to go and spent the rest of the day being irritable with dd

Anyone in a similar predicament?

I do all the cooking

Get him some floradix. The advert literally says tired of being tired. I think it helps/ helped me. I was just constantly tired and yawning.

If he’s drinking coffee at home in the evening I’d be tempted to switch it to decaf without telling him. Also just tell him he’s behaving like a brat.

It’s not selfish OP.

Sounds like he just needs a very big wake up call and a push to visit his GP.

If it is a mental health issue - the only way we can start the help is by accepting we need help. And making the push to seek out help and talk to someone.

Are his parents around/alive? Or any siblings? If so, could you talk to them for some support?

I think you'd find he could move if you cut off his food supply. His survival instinct would kick in.

Imo it is selfish to moan and groan and sit around doing nothing when you have young children...you do need just to get on with it to some degree. And if that's really not possible, get help/checked out to find out what's wrong.

I have an autoimmune condition and it took years to get a diagnosis. Main symptom? Fatigue.

However annoying it feels to you, you do sound very unsympathetic.

This gave me pickles....I think we're married to the same man....possibly why he's tired?

why don't you sit down with him and tell him how you are feeling how his constant moaning of being tired and not doing anything is impacting negatively on your child and you and that if he doesn't seek help or do something about it you are considering stepping away from the relationship as you feel overwhelmed with having to do everything

maybe that might wake him up a little

Sounds like he is expressing his needs and not really getting a compassionate response

He might not want to see the doctor, I used to religiously say to people, you must go to the doctor to get this or that checked out, but quite frankly GPs are so useless Im cautious to recommend this for things like general fatigue, they dont seem capable of really looking into things, let alone if you even get an appointment (and you have to fight for that too)

Would he like to change to de caf coffee? He is certainly self medicating with all the coffee and fags so something is needed by him for some reason but its hard to unpick

My DH is the same; always complaining of being tired or 'knackered' despite doing very little in the house (we both work full time).

Funnily enough he's never tired when he's with friends or going to the pub or to play pool or golf. Only when he's home with me.

Maybe he needs to do some exercise

Hoovering and cleaning the kitchens and bathrooms would be a good start.

Yep, my DH drinks a bottle of wine every day, then needs a nap. But he’s ok to stay up late and drink another bottle of wine. Grrr

Do you have little DC? As a one off, I'd be sympathetic. As a regular occurrence, I'd be sending them in to jump on my DH.

This gave me pickles....I think we're married to the same man....possibly why he's tired

😂😂😂

Getting strong hints of this, my favourite meme, OP. Solidarity!

It just seems to be every weekend is the same, I’d just like some laughs, some positivity, he’s very uptight and to be honest I feel lighter and more relaxed when it’s just Dd and I

Does he have insomnia?

No, kids are grown up.

Kick him in the goolies, that'll wake him up

OP - I am sympathetic to you. He needs to get his act together and make changes to his life. It’s not acceptable for him to carry on like this - contributing v little at home - especially as you are going back to work in a few months.

he may have problems with depression or medical reasons for tiredness, but he has to make an effort to investigate them and change his patterns. I would ask him to reduce his caffeine and catch up on sleep over a weekend while I took DD to visit grandparents or friends. Then reassess - has this break helped? Then go to GP who can at least do some basic tests to look at blood level, thyroid, diabetes etc.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow His sleep is all over the place but always has been. He can barely sleep some nights or fall asleep early then wake really early

That’s why he’s tired. I had chronic insomnia for years. It’s soul destroying, and if you don’t suffer it you can’t understand it.

If it was sorted l think you and him would be much happier. He needs to go to Gp and sort it.

All those saying he needs to see the GP have missed something OP has said; he won't see the GP about it!

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow But I’ve given him the chance to lie in on weekend mornings, he said he can’t and literally wakes up really early and immediately gets up, he can’t relax or just chill out. I’d so love him to just wake up and cuddle with Dd and I and be relaxed