School Parents attending 5 year old party

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I am planning a birthday party at home for DC who is turning 5. He would like to invite his whole class which would be fine as we have a largeish garden. But if parents want to stay then we’d have to have less children due to space. so far he has only attended proper parties in play centres etc where the parents wait.

AIBU to think that it’s okay to say to parents to drop off and pick up or is age 5 too young for that?

Depends entirely on the individual child

Probably depends on the child, but if you make it clear on the invite people can accept/decline accordingly.

Some parents will want to stay but if you make it clear on the invite that it's a drop off you should only have a handful ime

I would give both options on your invitations. Some five years old will be fine and outgoing some would struggle without a parent I think. For my sons 5th birthday all the parents opted to be there when given the choice, but it probably was just as well as there were a few tears about feeling left out etc which were well sorted out by a mum.

Personally I'd be comfortable leaving my 5 year old if I knew the mum hosting well and trusted them.

It depends on the individual children but to be honest, I'd always opt for just inviting their actual friends rather than the whole class anyway.

Thanks - think we’ll go for less numbers and give the option for parents to stay then. I’d be grateful for the 2 hours peace to be honest & just drop off😂but you’re right, some children will still want parents at that age and I don’t actually know hardly any of the parents.

@worraliberty I do that for older DC bit actual friends is a difficult list to put together at this age because it changes so often.

Ether just pick a few close friends, just the boys or the whole class though. Don't just leave a handful out. This happened in my class I work in last week where majority went to the party and just a few didn't get invited. Caused a lot of upset.

Reception?
so some will be 4
yes, have to give the option

I’d do bouncy castle and invite no more than 10

At that age many parents stay.

This is why it's so much easier to do soft play or hire a hall at that age. I wouldn't be comfortable dropping my 5 year old off at someone's house who I didn't know well, and neither do I think she'd be comfortable with me leaving her.

I always thought kids should be fine with just being dropped off at that age (and prefer it as they tend to behave better without parents there) but then my 3rd child turned 5. There's no way he would manage being dropped off - he'd cry and cry and you'd have to call me to pick him up!

I wouldnt drop my 5yo at your house and then have you supervise 28(?) Kids on your own. Plus some parents might not even know you. Or the kids have never been to your house before. Yabu. Also yabu for wanting to invite the ENTIRE class . Pick a few. That'll do.

At that age, I’d be terrified of having a full class worth with no other parents on hand to assist- what’s your plan for this?

Is this really a thing? When I was 5 (I’m 42) no one’s parents stayed at parties; maybe one to help with organising. There’s a picture of my 4th birthday in my house, no parents there except mine and a family friend whose daughter was also there.

I think I would have wanted to stay with my 5 year old- he is the youngest in his class and I would want to keep an eye on his behaviour and be there if he got nervous or shy.

I think it is mean to pick just a handful
at age 5. Their friendship groups change daily!

I would invite whole class but say you are happy for drop and runs it appropriate. The parents know their children.

My 5 yr old’s class always invites everyone to birthday parties and it’s always just drop off/pick up. They’re a very close group (13 kids) and we have a WhatsApp group with all the parents. There’s always a lot of play dates or parent catch ups planned so we all know each other fairly well though.

Drop off and go is fine for a 5 year old, but only if you have enough hands to look after them all. We did drop off and go but only had 8 kids, so we could manage them between DH and I (things like helping them cut up their lunch, find their drink, show where the loo is etc.)

If you are having 30 kids in your own garden and just you to look after them all you might struggle.

It depends on the child, my eldest would have been too nervous to stay alone at a party age 5.

I think it's quite common - 5yo's are only in reception, after all.

I'm 33 and have photos of my 5th/6th/7th birthday parties and there were other parents present at all of them.

Is your garden enclosed/fenced? Do you think you could manage to deal with 28 4/5 year olds (including any accidents) without losing any? And still run party games etc.? Teachers/TAs receive a lot of training in classroom management to be able to cope with this number of kids 😂.

5 is borderline but depends on what your class is like. I’d absolutely drop at play dates but some of the behaviour from my daughter’s class at parties was appalling in reception/y1 and often the hosting parents were necessarily too busy doing food etc to really manage behaviour. The structured ones were fine but the garden ones tended to be more chaotic and some of the boys were really quite rough in how they were playing.

I think it depends on the DC too. Mine would probably be fine depending on the party but some of them are more hard work and some have additional needs (you might not know about this). It’s also a lot to keep an eye on- I’d definitely want some extra pairs of hands.