School Parents attending 5 year old party

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I am planning a birthday party at home for DC who is turning 5. He would like to invite his whole class which would be fine as we have a largeish garden. But if parents want to stay then we’d have to have less children due to space. so far he has only attended proper parties in play centres etc where the parents wait.

AIBU to think that it’s okay to say to parents to drop off and pick up or is age 5 too young for that?

Also agree with @Bunnycat101 about the behaviour management. Some not always that well behaved.

I'm a TA. I can't say I've ever received any training on classroom management however I agree it's a very different dynamic plus if things get tricky or there is an emergency in school there are multiple other adults in the building that can be called on. I certainly wouldn't choose to manage a full class party in my home without several adults present.

Be aware if you invite them all, some will think it is ok to bring their husbands and siblings. You may be overrun :)

Tinkywinkywoo I’m still scarred by a party we went to that turned a bit lord of the flies. There were lots of tears and I don’t know why it took such a turn as there were plenty of parents there. The hosts had to deflate all the inflatables because some of the kids were just being beastly and they were worried someone would get really hurt. On the way home I made it quite clear to my daughter I would not be hosting an all class party for her.

DS is a year younger but we do have neighbour kids and siblings in who are 5/ 6. I still need to remind them to wash hands, flush the toilet, help with a tight-neck jumper going on or off, get fresh clothes on whoever spills juice, break up a dispute about a particular toy, remove sticks that are suddenly being waved about, open raisins box/ wrapper etc. A few school friends have additional needs, so need quiet space or extra help as they tend to struggle with food or noise, one has a walking frame and the others need reminding to give him room. Then there are the clingier kids who need to know the person looking after them. The younger ones tend to also need help if they do a poo or have trousers they can't quite get up / down (or not in time). Generalising massively, but girls at the older end of the year are about 5* more capable than the boys at the younger end.

Parties do have parents less involved then when they were younger, but everyone still takes their own kid to the toilet, sorts food and incidents etc. Remember the kids are always a bit more hyped at a party, so can actually need more input than on a playdate. All in all, I think having more than 6 kids on your own or 15 kids if there are 2 of you would be bonkers, and we'll definitely be inviting parents.

As someone else said, some parents will bring siblings. Happens at every party....

Clarity of communication is key here I think, I've been to birthday parties at people's houses where they've had a sign up sheet for you to put your name kids name and mobile number, "if you think you kid would be ok with you not being here" along with clear info on when they want you back. "There's a parents area but it's already pretty crowded" is a totally reasonable thing to say. I'd agree that if you're having anything like 30 kids over you want a pre arranged group of volunteer helpers.

I would want parents to stay, or at least some of them, for back up.

The etiquette seems to vary slightly depending on where you live. Round here 95% stay in reception, reducing to about 10% in year 3, partly depending on location.

Would you want to be responsible for 29 children in your home? I wouldn't most parents stay when children are that young and can be helpful. Plus you can't always garantee with our great British weather you will have good weather for a garden party. Invite fewer children so they're parent/carer can stay. If he wants the whole class it would be better somewhere else.

One brave parent invited all the girls in DD's class to her DD's 5th birthday party at the end of the second week in September. They were still mornings-only, so it was a lunchtime party. Most of the mums went along, but once they'd settled most of us then left - there wasn't space for everyone. Apparently it was a very "easy" party, because they were all tired out after their first full week of mornings!

Anyway, for you: think carefully about the size of the party - most reception classes have a trained teacher and an experienced teaching assistant to manage them, and there's less excitement and sugar to deal with at school. If the class tend to segregate themselves by gender, then boys only might be sensible. If choosing who to invite, make sure it isn't all but two of the boys or anything like that.

Some parents will love you for a note on the invite saying "fine to drop and run, but please make sure I have your mobile number". You might also want to say "also fine if you want to stay with your child, but please no siblings as we don't have the space", as apparently some people think siblings are automatically invited. It's probably a good idea to make sure you have nobbled one or two trusted parents in advance to help you manage the kids, rather than stand nattering in the kitchen.

I personally would really like this I hate making small talk with school mums and my DS would be fine. However you need to make it clear it's drop off (some parents may stay anyway). You also need the name of who will be collecting their child and a contact number. Also watch the motherland episode of this

I think you will be wanting parents to stay at that age. That’s a lot of small children to be responsible for. I would be a bit nervous about keeping them all safe. They will get very excited and maybe hyped up after sugar. Some upset, wetting pants, vomiting etc. There’s a lot of possibilities at that age!

Mine are this age as well. I'd be thrilled at a drop and run party!!

These are 5 year olds, so reception kids. They'll be fine without a parent for a couple of hours, especially with all their little mates around!

I'd say drop off only on the invitation! I think most parents would be thrilled! And if parents didn't think their child would cope, they just wouldn't bring them, and it's not the end of the world.

I remember that 6 was the first time my dd had this at her party. We ended up having it at our house due to people at the venue not turning up to open (church hall) and the house was really small. A lot of parents were expecting to drop off anyway

In my experience (current 5 year old) most parents do stay and here anyway that continues for quite a while post 5.

I think it always depends on that first parent- the first one runs off and the next ones will probably do the same- they stay and you have most of the parents! Saying that I remember dropping and leaving for that reason and myself and dh panicking that I’d actually done it!! Personally I agree with the person that said it use to not be the done thing but now I think age 5 and 6 it’s more normal to stay on

I would only drop and run for one or two of the parents in my DSs reception class. And if I knew the parent/child ratio. But I have a sensory issues, anxiety riddled 5yo who would only settle if he had a designated adult who he knew well.

I didn't leave either of mine at that age. There is no way I would have dropped them into a house where I didn't know the parents.

As soon as they start school it's drop and go where I live.

But if you are concerned make it clear on the invites

When you think about it, given how much care is put into safeguarding our children in every other situation I find it a tad odd that parents are so happy to drop kids off with basically strangers.

I think a good rule of thumb for a house party is as many children as the child’s age plus 1. So for a five year old that means five guests, six kids in total. With any luck you have enough chairs so they can eat at a table, it’s a small enough number so everyone gets a turn at pass the parcel, there is enough room for some games indoors if the weather turns , no body gets missed or lost, if parents want to stay there are enough cups for them to have a cup of tea. Any more and you are wrangling. Ps if any parents do decide to drop and run make sure you have a contact number before they set off on their free afternoon of passionate sex with their personal trainer, an afternoon of chocolate cake and a movie slumped on the sofa.