Who gets the bigger room?

[NoWayHome]

Good evening,

I was hoping someone could settle something between DH and I because we can't agree and to be honest we're getting wayyy ahead of ourselves but we want to start decorating which is why we're sort of discussing it now.

We live in a new build so the rooms aren't all that big anyway but we have two biggish rooms and a box room. Currently DS (16 months) is in the big room and the box room is the rubbish room at the minute. We're having a baby girl and DH thinks next year (we have baby sleeping in our room for a year) that we should make the box room into a "big boys room" for my son because when he's older he's not gonna bother having a smaller room as long as it has a bed, clothes, toys and eventually an entertainment system (thinking teenage years) and that DH had to share when he was younger and he thinks DS will be perfectly happy with it as boys don't really care (his words) and he feels DD would be better in the bigger room as he feels she'll need more space.

I think it's a bit tight on DS like oh there's a new baby pack up and move to the other room but appreciate I might be being unreasonable as DH makes good points.

I mean we have a while to go yet and could even move before then but what do people think, do they agree with DH or are we being tight moving DS into the box room?

Also I appreciate this might be first world problems and it's completely a non issue but I'd like some outside opinions please

Thank you

Eldest gets bigger room. What’s his sexist assumption that girls need loads of space - is it for all their sparkly dresses?

Your DH is talking rubbish.

I was in a fairly large family, some of us shared, some had our own rooms.
We swapped every year so we all got a chance to have your own space. (decorating was neutral - you just took your things/pictures etc)
Once the eldest was in exam years they kept a solo room - but the time the youngest was in exam years most of us were off to Uni so sharing at Christmas etc didn't matter.

Worked well, I would have been pissed off not 'being the eldest/golden child' not getting the bigger room ever in my childhood

I would agree with pp, eldest child has the bigger room.

I’m the youngest and my brother got the box room. Under the girls have more stuff rule. I don’t think he liked it!

As they are so close in age I would put bunk beds in the box room and use the larger one as a playroom

My eldest son has the biggest room. Youngest son the smallest. Middle daughter the one in between.

Girl gets the biggest in our family. Not sure why but that's how it is. I had the biggest even though I was younger. I probably come from a family where females take precedence. My brother never minded. My son is currently in the larger room having said that. The longer term plan is to reconfigure though so the flor space is used better generally.

Put dh in the box room problem solved

Oldest gets biggest

My son is the eldest of my two (by 15months). Son and daughter now both teenagers. From the start, my son, as the eldest, got the big room and my daughter got the box room. They both have a lot of ‘Stuff’, so my daughter has a high rise bed unit, complete with wardrobe and desk/chair underneath to utilise the space. Personally I believe the biggest room goes to the eldest, it’s nothing to do with their gender.

The people saying eldest gets the biggest room that’s just as unfair as being sexist and saying the girl should get the biggest room.
why should the eldest? It’s not the youngest fault they were born second…

So how would you decide?

Maybe not but there will be years when the eldest will need less supervision and will be allowed access to toys that may not be safe for the little one. Them having play space away from younger siblings and parent makes much more sense than having the toddler in the bigger room and the older ones spreading Lego round the living room. Plus at the other end of childhood they will be first be studying for GCSEs and A levels, so it makes sense for them to have a desk in their room, and then be off to uni so the youngest can take their turn in the bigger room later.

We've found that the whole house has kind of evolved over time. If swapping them later makes sense then fine, swap them. But eldest in the biggest room is practical starting point.

Does nobody swap their children's bedrooms regularly any more? Between age 6 and 13 we lived in a 3bed semi with two large bedrooms (one used by parents) and a box-room. Both child bedrooms were decorated in neutral colours, and my brother and I regularly swapped rooms, about every nine months. It served as a good opportunity to clear out old toys and clutter, as well as ensuring nobody could complain about being treated poorly. Whoever had the bigger room, also had the sofa-bed in their room and had to vacate temporarily when guests were staying. It seemed fair to us!

I've actually never come across this in real life. I've seen it mentioned on here a lot but don't know anyone who's actually done it.

Put both in the same room, whoever doesn’t want to share anymore first they get the small room?

Oldest kid automatically getting the big room is akin to only the oldest inheriting the land/title! It’s so unfair and just as unfair as giving the girl the bigger room because she is a girl, yet so many people seem to think this is perfectly fine.

As the oldest I was in the biggest room until I decided as a teen I wanted the smaller room

There a difference between older kid getting the bigger room just because they’re older and older kid getting the bigger room for now because the younger one is still gestating. Then reassessing the different needs as the kids grow, circumstances change and maybe you move.

But there will inevitably be an element that the older child was in the room
anyway because they were born first. So
it would need to be a compelling case to change things. Different if you decide to move house.