Who gets the bigger room?

[NoWayHome]

Good evening,

I was hoping someone could settle something between DH and I because we can't agree and to be honest we're getting wayyy ahead of ourselves but we want to start decorating which is why we're sort of discussing it now.

We live in a new build so the rooms aren't all that big anyway but we have two biggish rooms and a box room. Currently DS (16 months) is in the big room and the box room is the rubbish room at the minute. We're having a baby girl and DH thinks next year (we have baby sleeping in our room for a year) that we should make the box room into a "big boys room" for my son because when he's older he's not gonna bother having a smaller room as long as it has a bed, clothes, toys and eventually an entertainment system (thinking teenage years) and that DH had to share when he was younger and he thinks DS will be perfectly happy with it as boys don't really care (his words) and he feels DD would be better in the bigger room as he feels she'll need more space.

I think it's a bit tight on DS like oh there's a new baby pack up and move to the other room but appreciate I might be being unreasonable as DH makes good points.

I mean we have a while to go yet and could even move before then but what do people think, do they agree with DH or are we being tight moving DS into the box room?

Also I appreciate this might be first world problems and it's completely a non issue but I'd like some outside opinions please

Thank you

Youngest in the bigger room as they will live there longer. That's how it was when we were growing up.

But also agree usually speaking boys don't need or care about having as much space as girls- your husband is right

I disagree that boys don’t need space. Oldest child gets biggest room.

Not the same cos our smallest room isn't a box room (it fits a double bed, small desk, drawers and toy storage) but it is noticeably smaller than the other room.

Anyway, our boys shared until we moved flat when they were 6 and 4. 6 year old got the smallest room, 4 year old got the biggest. Because he's the one that is into bigger toys (kitchen, work bench, loads of playmobil) whereas the older one was into smaller things and reading.

I certainly wouldn't turf out a 3 year old for his sister (especially as she already seems to be the golden child before she's even born) as he will resent her and you for that. And why wouldn't he? Its deeply unfair.

Is there anyway to take some of the space from the big room and give it to the boxroom?

Or even get them to share the big room for a few years to see who needs more space?

Or even make the boxroom a sleeping room only and the big room a playroom? I know a couple of families where all 3 kids sleep in one room and have the other as a playroom.

As the youngest child, I think the youngest should get the biggest room 😉
I never understood why I was stuck in a tiny room when my sister had the largest for every house we lived in just because "she's the eldest".

I would have them sharing whilst they're little and see how their personalities develop.
Can one room be a playroom/office or homework room etc?
swap every couple of years?

OH is thinking that the boy will be a gamer and just want a bed and a TV to stare at and walls to blutak Nirvana and Metallica posters on.

He's thinking girl will need space for clothes and shoes and bags, scatter cushions and teddy bears and pictures of Take that on the walls...

How would he cope if boy likes clothes, shoes, bags, teddies and scatter cushions whilst the girl likes Xboxes and Nirvana posters? He might be in for a shock.. 😂

I have a boy and girl. Boy is older and currently has way more toys than the girl. Neither of them have noticed that the boy has a bigger room but right now I don’t regret the girl having the box room. I don’t think kids have large toys in their rooms till 3/4 years old so it makes no sense for your boy to have the bigger room.

i also think long term, your son is more likely to move out sooner like university then you can swap rooms in the future.

Could they start off sharing and having the box room as a playroom? Then when they're too big for that you can decide based on what they're into at the time.

We have a similar situation in our house (one bedroom much smaller than the others) but are planning to put the baby that's on the way in with DD once they're out of our room, and decide later how to split rooms (though we don't yet know whether baby on the way is a boy or a girl). We're sort of planning on having a third though, which changes the situation a bit.

I was in a similar situation.

We had DS first and he had the bigger room. We moved here when he was 9 months old.
DD came along 9 months later and she had the small room.

As time went on, she needed more space as she had more toys, clothes, wanted things like a “make up table”. So when she was 5, we swapped them over. We made the small room into a lovely room for DS and he loves it now.

They're 8 and 6 now and there are no issues with it at all. In time we hope to be able to extend and build another bedroom and then DS will be able to have a bigger room. But for now, it works for us.

Eldest gets the biggest room- in my experience and while growing up, amongst friends with siblings

Don't know why a girl would automatically need a larger room over a boy?

Surely there's lots of toys each of them could have which could take up masses of room?

The eldest always had the bigger room in my house, being the youngest, meant I got the smaller one, which was fine. When my brothers and sisters moved out and when to uni, I moved around and took over their rooms and tried them out. All the other bedroom, became mine at one point, until I finally flew the nest. So I think elder in the biggest room is the most easiest solution. As for who has more stuff, I think that depends on the child, my brother has endless drum kits in his!

I had the bigger room, DB came along when I was two in with patents until I was 3. At 3 I was given the choice stay in the bigger room as it was or move into the smaller room and I could choose how it was decorated. I chose the latter and kept that bedroom until I went to uni at 18! The box room wasn't tiny to be fair it had wardrobes built into the wall and could accommodate a double bed and large chest of drawers in later years and in younger years I had a cabin bed chest of drawers and a desk, bookshelves on the wall.
You could give your son the choice when it's time to move the baby.

Eldest has the biggest room. I'm not sure you can have a go at your husband for being sexist when he's clearly suggesting that he would be the one to have the smaller room, as a child. I'd suggest he's probably more naive than sexist.

My eldest DS (7) has the box room at his choice, he was scared of having a big room at night. DS (6) has the big room, which he will share with DS number 3 when he is born and old enough, which he wants to do.
It may change, but the older DS's don't like sharing at the moment and DS(6) much prefers the idea of sharing with a little brother than an older one.
Luckily I don't have to worry about boy/girl sharing dynamics , just personality and age differences.
What do your children want to do?
I remember changing rooms with my brother every other year or so to get chance to have the big room for a bit.

I have boy / girls twins - girl got the bigger room as she had more stuff...boy got the smaller room but at the same time more space in the games room where he played playstation.

We’ve played musical bedrooms over the years with 3 DC and two bedrooms. Paint the walls a neutral colour then you can easily personalise if you end up swapping them over at various points.

I’d definitely start with eldest in the biggest room though, and assess according to need over the years

We have eldest in the biggest room but the rule is she has to keep all her toys with small parts in there away from her little brother.
When she gets older and has less toys spread out everywhere and is more interested in her phone, and DS gets to the age of lots of small part toys to tread on we have said we will swap them.

Your DH's gender stereotypes are your problem here, not room size! I'd sit him down and work through his pre/conceptions, is he old fashioned in other ways?

Oldest gets the biggest room unless you need siblings to share then whoever shares gets the bigger room

Bit weird that an unborn baby will need more space to ????house her vagina???

Our eldest had bigger room until mid teens. Then we swapped them. But, it was because eldest DS was so untidy…despite having a lot of practical storage he never put anything anywhere except the floor. Becuase the floor space was big, he could let things stack up that way for weeks and it led to issues with clothes not getting washed, mouldy crockery etc.
I let rip eventually. Gave him ultimatum that unless he kept for space clear he was going into box room to limit how much could go on floor. He didn’t take action, so was moved.
we asked him what would help in box room to keep stuff off floor … did what he suggested. He never did use that, still on floor..but after about a week of dumping he literally couldn’t get to bed without moving stuff , so it did work. It meant his mess was more contained and manageable.
he is ok now…lives with partner and does keep most things tidy…but last time I was there still saw he was dropping his clothes on floor..albeit in a small space on his side of the bed 🤣🤣

Assuming you can get everything you need for baby into the smaller room baby has smaller room, DS will appreciate the bigger room as he gets bigger toys, nothing says they can’t swap rooms at a later time as their needs change…

I’d plan to be more flexible. In the longer term who knows what interests they’ll have? I’d put the baby into the small room initially.

what we did later was to have them in bunks in the small room and the bigger room was a playroom with a sofa bed for guests.

Then we extended into the loft so we had another room anyway. Maybe you’ll move at some point. Just do what works at each stage.

No point moving him if you think you might move in the future , and your dd will be too young to notice

We have got two daughters. Eldest is nearly eight, youngest is four. Both are in bunks in the smaller room, and the bigger room is currently a play room.
I know DD1 will want her own space in a couple of years so we will probably put her in the box room, DD2 will still need space to 'play'. Then we will swap them over when DD2 starts secondary if DD1 wants to have the big room.