Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Refusing to Use WhatsApp for this reason

182 replies

dottypotter · 18/06/2022 20:29

Someone in the family refuses to use WhatsApp and be in the family group as they don't believe it's private and safe.
I have never heard anyone give this as a reason has anyone else

We now have to text them separately etc cos they won't use it.

It's so useful to all be on the same group. Just never heard it as a reason before.

OP posts:
Kite22 · 18/06/2022 20:31

People have all sorts of different opinions.
I'm a bit inclined to think "Is anyone in the house, can you check if we have enough bread" is anything I would be too distressed if anyone hacked in to.

However, you don't really have to be texting them if they choose to opt out.
You can leave them to take the lead on asking about something.

thelastshadowpuppet · 18/06/2022 20:32

I hate groups like this. I hate having a mobile phone and for a year I didn't bother with one. Could it be they just don't want to be in the group and get hassled by notifications. Fair enough in my book.

godmum56 · 18/06/2022 20:32

Really? There are shedloads of people who think that aspects of the internet are unsafe.

BeHappyItIsEasier · 18/06/2022 20:33

I use WhatsApp all the time, but if they don't want to be on there, that's up to them.

I've left most big groups on WhatsApp, but not for privacy reasons. I just find it quite intrusive, even if I mute it, as I either need to catch up on what people or saying or ignore it. If I'm ignoring it, why be on there?

I've definitely heard "oh no, my WhatsApp isn't working ATM" as an excuse for backing out of group chats! Maybe "privacy issues" is another one

mrsfoof · 18/06/2022 20:35

For an app to be totally free, there has to be something in it for the developer, so your family member may have a point.
WhatsApp are gathering data of sorts about you each and every time you use it and in turn use that for marketing purposes.
Maybe your family member just isn't up for that.

BornIn78 · 18/06/2022 20:37

It might be useful for you, not so much for them. And no, I don’t trust that WhatsApp is particularly secure.

They probably just don’t want all the crap that gets posted in the family group and would rather just be notified of the important stuff.

Wickywickyyow · 18/06/2022 20:37

thelastshadowpuppet · 18/06/2022 20:32

I hate groups like this. I hate having a mobile phone and for a year I didn't bother with one. Could it be they just don't want to be in the group and get hassled by notifications. Fair enough in my book.

This is perfectly reasonable as long as you don't expect people to contact you separately when making arrangements.

5foot5 · 18/06/2022 20:38

I find WhatsApp incredibly useful for small groups and use it loads. Potentially it is not 100% secure but I don't think anyone would be interested in the sort of things I use it for (home in 20 minutes, today's Wordle score, do we need more milk etc)

Momicrone · 18/06/2022 20:39

I wouldn't text them separately, sod em

Butterfly44 · 18/06/2022 20:39

That's fine. But I wouldn't bother texting them separately

Crazylady333 · 18/06/2022 20:43

it is a bit annoying…never heard that excuse before but I wouldn’t send them a separate message - if they miss out on something then tough t**ies!!

PrawnToast5 · 18/06/2022 20:43

BornIn78 · 18/06/2022 20:37

It might be useful for you, not so much for them. And no, I don’t trust that WhatsApp is particularly secure.

They probably just don’t want all the crap that gets posted in the family group and would rather just be notified of the important stuff.

My understanding is that WhatsApp is far more secure than other messaging apps because it provides end to end encryption, whereas other apps don't.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 18/06/2022 20:44

WhatsApp is owned by Meta, the parent company of both Facebook and Instagram so it’s probably no more or less safe than either of those.

Thebeastofsleep · 18/06/2022 20:45

I have family members like this. It means they miss out on some stuff, mainly pictures or "were in the area, we'd love to meet up" type stuff. I'm not spending money sending picture messages though! They can see them when we meet up.

ZaraSizeMedium · 18/06/2022 20:45

You would tell your family members “I’m only using this one method of communication (WhatsApp) and if you don’t agree to use it and be in the group, then you’re not getting invited to anything… Sod you!”.

How bizzare. Some of you must have very odd relationships with your family.

Brefugee · 18/06/2022 20:46

Meh. If everyone else is ok with it, they will have to get their info somehow else, but i wouldn't be going out of my way to give them the info

Thinkbiglittleone · 18/06/2022 20:48

I have family who simply can't understand why people would compromise their privacy by using WhatsApp......so they use Facebook, it baffles me.

ElenaSt · 18/06/2022 20:48

I don't use WhatsApp. Friends and family who do use it are perfectly capable of communicating with me in other ways.

orwellwasright · 18/06/2022 20:48

Butterfly44 · 18/06/2022 20:39

That's fine. But I wouldn't bother texting them separately

Go one further and cut them dead at family events, ensure they never inherit and pretend you've never heard their name if they're ever mentioned.

BeHappyItIsEasier · 18/06/2022 20:50

orwellwasright · 18/06/2022 20:48

Go one further and cut them dead at family events, ensure they never inherit and pretend you've never heard their name if they're ever mentioned.

😂😂

Maybe a good kick in the shins next time you see them? The BASTARDS 😂

CrapBucket · 18/06/2022 20:50

I know someone who refuses to use WhatsApp on privacy grounds. Tbh she is a pita in a lot of ways, but none of my business what she decides.

Wickywickyyow · 18/06/2022 20:50

ZaraSizeMedium · 18/06/2022 20:45

You would tell your family members “I’m only using this one method of communication (WhatsApp) and if you don’t agree to use it and be in the group, then you’re not getting invited to anything… Sod you!”.

How bizzare. Some of you must have very odd relationships with your family.

Its a complete faff trying to organise meet ups within a larger group without group messaging. One to one messages, fine. But do you really expect people to keep repeating the messages in the group to you in a separate message? And then share your response. Again.

orwellwasright · 18/06/2022 20:52

Wickywickyyow · 18/06/2022 20:37

This is perfectly reasonable as long as you don't expect people to contact you separately when making arrangements.

Why not FFS?

Jesus, this thread is insane.

Life does not revolve around fucking WhatsApp you know.

CushtyCushty · 18/06/2022 20:53

I use WhatsApp a lot but I know quite a few who don't trust it and trust it even less so since Facebook bought it.

I'm in a few group chats for hobbies and it's a regular occurrence that one of us will mention something in an anecdote or something like a dog getting rubbish out of the bin and then we all start getting Facebook ads for bins. Stuff like that.

I don't think it's odd that someone doesn't like to use meta or Facebook products for privacy's and safety reasons.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/06/2022 20:54

It's not safe in America, but it's safe in the EU.

I also have a friend who left our social WhatsApp group and now claims that she is 'excluded'.