Are autistic traits controllable?

[AlternativelyWired]

I'd like to know the view of those who are neurotypical, because I've come across this opinion today, and I'm wondering if it's a common belief that people can control (mask) their autistic traits to be more "normal" so as not to upset other people.

[Edited by MNHQ at poster's request]

I used to mask. Now i cant be bothered. NT people font hide their revulsion at me after all.

I ‘’mask” it, not sure how effectively as people often pick up there’s something “off” with me but don’t think they tag it as autism. I suppose I’d be classed as ‘high-functioning’ (if that term’s still appropriate), not sure to what extent someone that’s more affected can mask it, I do also notice it in others.

The problem here is that autism is a spectrum that causes a range of difficulties which can be different for different people. I masked all my life and therefore never knew who I was, mental health difficulties became disabling at age 17, I knew nothing of autism then, just never felt that I was a real 'whole' person, I actively hated myself. My son is confident in himself and knows he doesn't need to mask, he already has anxiety but ultimately knows who he is and likes himself and can see his strengths. My daughter masks horribly, smiling, nodding, people pleasing and it makes me uncomfortable as I want her to be true to her self. Some people on the spectrum can't mask and others are great at it but ultimately it is up to people as a whole to learn to accept difference.

@Willyoujustbequiet sexuality is neither a condition nor a disability and it's homophobic to suggest that with your comparison.

Masking is so exhausting. At home I shouldn't have to mask. Outside I've had 4 decades of female socialisation and mask without realising but then all hell breaks loose later.

No, she wouldn't.

The premise of the thread is crass and offensive. But I suppose we should just ignore it if we don't like it, eh?

I happen to agree with you in not viewing it as a disability, however it can be socially debilitating due to the attitudes of others, and the widespread view of it is as a disability.

Shutting down the discussion of these attitudes on the basis of ‘offence’ is not helpful. I believe all ideas, even ‘stupid’ ones, should be up for discussion. Not everyone’s as enlightened as everyone else on all subjects, people who are brave enough to ask questions - even ‘inappropriate’ ones - in an attempt to learn should be encouraged, not censored.

@thedancingbear The premise of the thread is crass and offensive. But I suppose we should just ignore it if we don't like it, eh?

Yes, unironically. Why waste mental energy engaging with things you find crass and offensive?

Yes, I think I'm the same I do it unconsciously. And it makes life beyond exhausting!

OK, I really want to know. Why should I have to put up with awful and abusive behaviour that has been blamed on autism?
I have had to let go of a few autistic friends due to this.

I'm pretty sure noone on here has said you do. It's up to you what friends you have 🤷

No one has said it on here... that is true.

So why bring it up?

Most people have to conform to social norms in some way or another

Of course autistic people shouldn't have to mask and of course not all of them can

We need more awareness and tolerance of difference really

But others also don't have to tolerate being mistreated even if it's because of a mh issue or a condition/disability

because I am told I have to put up with it

@AlternativelyWired

It was an example of divergence from the typical as a comparison and so in no way homophobic. It is however ableist to insist autistics consider themselves disabled when many dont.

Yeah sure. As you can learn certain behaviours. An in thay way you can mask other things.
But that is the small stuff i guess. But yeah

Interesting question this. I suppose you’re alluding to the attitude that you should put up with it because “they can’t help it” ( their behaviour). Which kind of ties back to the op question of whether autistic people can mask that condition. And if they cannot ‘mask’ it then what allowances should be made for ‘awful and abusive’ behaviour attributed to the condition? Really such behaviour should be modified, which opens up a can of worms as to how to do that if it’s an intrinsic characteristic of how the person’s brain is wired and that person is unable to do so, even if they want to. The ‘solution’ then is that autistic people end up being excluded, socially and institutionally.
Anyway to answer your question, no, you shouldn’t have to put up with it and there’s nothing wrong with you letting go of such friends.

This. My son has autism and Severe learning disabilities. Obviously he can’t “mask”. He doesn’t understand he has autism.

If you have met one person with autism you have met one person with autism ,my 12 year old doesn't have the capacity to mask ,he's severely autistic, non verbal etc has no concept he has autism and only has a very basic understanding of the world
But it's a huge spectrum and other people present very differently .

But it has nothing to do with the thread. It seems like you just want an excuse to have a go at your autistic "friends".

@jetadore response what pretty much what I wanted to say, but I can struggle getting the right words out.