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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thoughts on taking your DC out of school to enjoy the sunshine?

495 replies

Dorsetdelight211 · 17/06/2022 07:55

DD is 14, year 9. She's just had a message off her best friend to say she won't be in school today as her mum is taking her and her younger sister to the beach for the day. Que DD saying how cool the mum is and how unfair it is that I never let her miss school for fun stuff. I've got to work and even if I didn't I still wouldn't let her do it.

YABU-its a beautiful day, one day off school won't make a difference
YANBU-school is important and you can't skive off just because the weathers nice.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 17/06/2022 08:58

Even if it was hot enough to be dangerous, they’re actually safer in the classroom than at the beach. But regardless, it’s warm. It’s not a lava pit. So I really couldn’t fret about ‘health’ and staying safe at home from a mildly nice summer day.

spanishmumireland · 17/06/2022 08:59

DelurkingAJ · 17/06/2022 08:44

People always say ‘it’s just one day’ but from talking to friends and family in education it never seems to be…the same families do it again and again and again and then (in one case I know well) complain because their child is behind. To my mind it sets a terrible example of work ethic when the children are very impressionable.

Totally agree.
This only teaches bad work ethics.
This is the validation from parents (role models?) to be lazy and pull sickies in the future when not wanting to go to work.
Dont do this if you want them to be responsible adults.

ellieboolou · 17/06/2022 08:59

I've given my 2 primary kids the day off today as it's going to be around 33 where we live, we will be going to a splash park. They are 9 and 6. Both have 💯 attendance so far so not much impact for one day.

snowmanshoes · 17/06/2022 08:59

Re kids sitting GCSEs - all schools are different but most have already finished. The last GCSEs are next week (as far as I know) and some schools who remain nameless still think it makes sense for y11 students to go and sit in hot classrooms with mostly support staff on exam free days to do ‘independent revision’ - if not attending there will be consequences?!?! They officially leave school and complete exams next week! Sometimes common sense flies out the windows when the boiling sun is pouring in. Disclaimer - Not all schools!
Interesting to see if the schools that allow their gcse students to break up before exams/half term or earlier perform better?

MyWorstIsGoodEnough · 17/06/2022 09:02

I don’t have an issue with it, although I’d probably take them somewhere with air con rather than the beach as we’re not lovers of the heat. I’ve given my kids days off for other stuff though, it’s no big deal.

ImAvingOops · 17/06/2022 09:02

I think that 'bonus' days are really important for family bonds and general well-being. And I think you are just jealous because you are at work and can't easily do this. Not everyone's life is the same - we are all advantaged/ disadvantaged in different ways.

I think that so long as a child has high attendance usually, the odd day out is no big deal - life is for living.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 17/06/2022 09:02

I'm not averse to removing children from school for something that can't be done at weekends/evening. But a trip to the beach... no that can be weekend.

Whinge · 17/06/2022 09:03

ellieboolou · 17/06/2022 08:59

I've given my 2 primary kids the day off today as it's going to be around 33 where we live, we will be going to a splash park. They are 9 and 6. Both have 💯 attendance so far so not much impact for one day.

Why do they need a day off?

The splash park will still be there after school.

SleepSleepRaveAsleep · 17/06/2022 09:03

There's 6 whole weeks of holidays coming up for days at the beach. I'm guessing the parent will be lying to school about where her daughter is? This doesn't send out the right message to a 14 year old - skive school, lie about it, have a lovely day out, miss school work, no repercussions.

Parker231 · 17/06/2022 09:05

Ridiculous idea - it’s a school day - compulsory

snowmanshoes · 17/06/2022 09:05

Apologies - went on a bit of a rant there and went off topic - just annoying to watch my dd going to school on a boiling hot day (yes it will be here) to do her own revision she could be doing at home next to a fan/air con or heaven forbid a drink with ice cubes in it - to follow the rules

MyWorstIsGoodEnough · 17/06/2022 09:05

SleepSleepRaveAsleep · 17/06/2022 09:03

There's 6 whole weeks of holidays coming up for days at the beach. I'm guessing the parent will be lying to school about where her daughter is? This doesn't send out the right message to a 14 year old - skive school, lie about it, have a lovely day out, miss school work, no repercussions.

And unclench.

SirenSays · 17/06/2022 09:06

I'd do this, it's always raining at the weekends and we have such short miserable summers anyway. I say make the most of it when you can.

Yodaisawally · 17/06/2022 09:07

I wouldn't do this and I'd judge someone who would. They should be in school. It's a bit of warm weather, there will be other days to go to the beach.

SleepSleepRaveAsleep · 17/06/2022 09:07

I have sympathy if the parent works weekends and can't go at the weekend but that's life if you work shifts, my parents always worked shifts so we often missed out on days out at the weekend, they didn't remove is from school on their days off though because they felt like it.

Parker231 · 17/06/2022 09:07

ImAvingOops · 17/06/2022 09:02

I think that 'bonus' days are really important for family bonds and general well-being. And I think you are just jealous because you are at work and can't easily do this. Not everyone's life is the same - we are all advantaged/ disadvantaged in different ways.

I think that so long as a child has high attendance usually, the odd day out is no big deal - life is for living.

Perhaps the teachers will do the same the next warm day?

blameitonthecaffeine · 17/06/2022 09:07

Depends. If it genuinely as the friend says and only because it's a nice day then no, I wouldn't. But maybe the family or one of the children is having a difficult time and the trip is more of a 'mental health day' (I really hate that phrase but can't think of anything better - sometimes a child or a family really is approaching breaking point and a day out away from routine can alleviate the pressure and get them back on track). If it's the latter then the chances are your daughter's friend wouldn't say so. So I wouldn't be quick to assume they are being unreasonable, especially if they don't have form for it.

YABU. I wouldn't do it. The only exception is the last week of school for the year, where they don't do much anyway

The last week of term is definitely not one I'd pick for missing. Don't do much?! If we tried to squeeze one more thing into the calendar for the last week, it would explode. Just one of my children has this in their last week:
concert rehearsals, concert, production rehearsal, production, House BBQ, History afternoon, Science morning, theatre trip, church service, parent-child sports match, Speech Day.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 09:08

Yodaisawally · 17/06/2022 09:07

I wouldn't do this and I'd judge someone who would. They should be in school. It's a bit of warm weather, there will be other days to go to the beach.

Judge them as what? What do you think is going to happen taking one day off?

MyWorstIsGoodEnough · 17/06/2022 09:08

snowmanshoes · 17/06/2022 09:05

Apologies - went on a bit of a rant there and went off topic - just annoying to watch my dd going to school on a boiling hot day (yes it will be here) to do her own revision she could be doing at home next to a fan/air con or heaven forbid a drink with ice cubes in it - to follow the rules

Some rules need breaking. No way I’d have sent her in if she would revise better at home being cooler.

ColadhSamh · 17/06/2022 09:08

For months during COVID there were constant complaints about children being deprived because they couldn't attend school.
It's now ok for some children to miss school because it's a nice day 🥺

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 17/06/2022 09:08

I'm sure my boss would be thrilled if I took a random beach day.

ForestFae · 17/06/2022 09:09

ColadhSamh · 17/06/2022 09:08

For months during COVID there were constant complaints about children being deprived because they couldn't attend school.
It's now ok for some children to miss school because it's a nice day 🥺

I honestly think that was more about some parents not having childcare and not wanting/not able to be with their kids all day every day.

MyWorstIsGoodEnough · 17/06/2022 09:09

Parker231 · 17/06/2022 09:07

Perhaps the teachers will do the same the next warm day?

Show quote history

Perhaps. Couldn’t get worked up about it really.

wellyelliebee · 17/06/2022 09:13

I wouldn't. Not because I think a one off trip to the beach would harm their education, but because of the message I think it would send about school being voluntary. I want them to understand that school is a hard fought privilege. Similar to voting (i vote every single time too, whether it matters or not). One of the things I hated most about the schools being closed during the pandemic is that I think it sent a message about education not being a basic human right, so for me to treat it like it was optional would be hypocritical.

wellyelliebee · 17/06/2022 09:14

And for the practical reason that once you've set a precedent, it's harder to say no next time