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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was she being unreasonable

40 replies

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:44

This has been bugging me
I’m probably just being insecure
my husband and I and our children were at the airport yesterday about to fly home and as we wee boarding I noticed two attractive females going on the plane. One was literally staring at my husband. I assume checking him out (he’s hot. No gonna lie). Usually that wouldn’t bother me as a lady will look and just be sly about it. This one was blatantly staring and did so for quite a long time. He didn’t seem to even notice to be honest. He’s pretty respectful around me and will never gawp at another female in my company. Anyway then she clocked me so I just thought she’d realise oh there’s his wife and that would be her social cue to not stare like a love struck puppy. Anyway sue didn’t stop. She briefly stared at me and then continued to check him out. Weird. So on the flight he was sitting alone as the seats were separate and he ends up sitting in front of her seat. She didn’t try to approach him or anything but as we were getting off and At this point I’m standing with him she comes face to face with him getting baggage out of the top. He was oblivious but she was staring him in the face trying desperately to make eye contact. He may have noticed but tried to avoid it so it wouldn’t give her the impression he was interested but honestly it was bizzare. It really pissed me off. Checking out a fit guy is one thing but eye balling him when he’s wi to his wife is a bit odd. He said he didn’t think he knew her and I don’t know how he would know her anyway she’s about 20 years younger than him anyway. So was her behaviour unreasonable? Or am I unreasonable for caring. It’s made me feel a bit insecure. I thought she may be looking for some sort of reaction so didn’t rise to it and confront her as figured this would make me look insecure (which clearly I am)! I’ve never really noticed a woman blatantly check out my husband in front of me before so …

OP posts:
waveyourpompoms · 16/06/2022 18:45

YABU. What exactly is the issue? She didn’t make a move, and even if she did I’m sure your husband would have turned her down. So what’s the problem?

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:46

I just thought it was rude to do it so blatantly when he’s with his wife? If it was subtle that would be one thing but it seemed she was hoping for him to react to be honest

OP posts:
Itwasntmeright · 16/06/2022 18:46

Sounds like she made a bit of a tit of herself. I don’t know why you’re worried about it.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 16/06/2022 18:47

No, she was BU. That's fairly, err, blatant, isn't it.

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:47

Probably because she was gorgeous to be honest and it made me realise that really attractive women fancy my husband. I think it’s probably natural to feel a bit of a pang of jealousy when some fit young thing is making eyes at my husband even if he would turn it down.

OP posts:
Mally100 · 16/06/2022 18:49

It happened, it's done and it's over. What is the issue. Yes she behaved inappropriately but what of that now. your dh didn't react, actuallu absolutely nothing happened. You are looking for an issue when there was no situation Confused

PAFMO · 16/06/2022 18:49

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:46

I just thought it was rude to do it so blatantly when he’s with his wife? If it was subtle that would be one thing but it seemed she was hoping for him to react to be honest

20 years younger?
Perhaps she thought it was her Dad?

MolliciousIntent · 16/06/2022 18:50

Oof. The other day I did something very, very similar, spent most of an hour-long train ride staring at a bloke and then noticed his wife giving me (very reasonable) evils. He looked exactly like a dead friend, had he lived to be a grown up, and I was completely blindsided. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

It is obviously more likely that she was checking him out and forgot that people could, yknow, see her doing it, but there is also a chance there was another explanation.

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:51

Yes I guess there could have very well been another reason and I should probably just get over it!

OP posts:
tenterden · 16/06/2022 18:52

Does he wear a ring? She may not have been clear he was married?

I do understand what it's like, I have two incredibly hot XPs, one very famous one who was in a rock band, and women would actually throw themselves at him, and another who was a ridiculously pretty actor. Once we were backstage at a theatre in London and two women really positioned themselves between me and him to cut me off from him. I just laughed. He was totally oblivious.

He chooses to be with you. Try to remember that. And they don't know about his bad habits like you do Wink

custardbear · 16/06/2022 18:53

I probably would have looked at her, followed her eyes, looked back at her and laughed

Justcallmebebes · 16/06/2022 18:53

Yes she was OP. I totally get it. Sounds like your DH handled it totally appropriately tho so I'd let it go

YetAnotherNam · 16/06/2022 18:54

You should have whispered in her ear ‘he’s great in bed’ and see her jaw drop.

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:54

Tenterden that would be so annoying! No he actually lost his ring ages ago and keeps saying he wants a new one! Maybe that didn’t help the situation but even so he had children with him and a woman so most people would just clock oh wife/partner etc

OP posts:
Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:55

Custard bear! That would’ve been funny! Maybe she would have snapped out of the trance she was in 😂

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 16/06/2022 18:56

You should have held eye contact and leaned over and licked him up the side of his face. Like licking the best doughnut before dinner to make sure that it's yours for dessert (when we were kids, obviously, I wouldn't do that now, nope, absolutely not). Grin

Testingeyes99 · 16/06/2022 18:56

YABU. I would be flattered if anyone looked at my DH like that lol.

ZenNudist · 16/06/2022 18:57

I think its in your head love. Bit much to assume she fancies him when he's way old anyway. What does "desperately trying to make eye contact" look like? Quite likely she was thinking something different and you made up this whole drama.

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:57

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 16/06/2022 18:56

You should have held eye contact and leaned over and licked him up the side of his face. Like licking the best doughnut before dinner to make sure that it's yours for dessert (when we were kids, obviously, I wouldn't do that now, nope, absolutely not). Grin

I thought about doing something a bit less weird and just kissing him but didn’t want to give her the satisfaction that I cared. Some really attractive females know they have a lot of power over men and that it can upset the wives. I know a few women (not people I hang out with) who literally go after married/in relationship men to empower themselves in the weirdest way

OP posts:
FOJN · 16/06/2022 18:59

Your husband either didn't notice or handled it well by ignoring so I'm not sure what the problem is. There are no laws against staring even if it's rude. It was a stranger you are unlikely to see again so why are you still so annoyed about it?

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:59

ZenNudist · 16/06/2022 18:57

I think its in your head love. Bit much to assume she fancies him when he's way old anyway. What does "desperately trying to make eye contact" look like? Quite likely she was thinking something different and you made up this whole drama.

Oh yes I made up this whole drama in my head because none of it really happened I just thought I’d make something up and write it on mumsnet (eye roll)

it happened and it made me feel awkward and she was rude to be so blatant in my opinion

OP posts:
ClumpingBambooIsALie · 16/06/2022 19:03

Some really attractive females know they have a lot of power over men and that it can upset the wives.

Redpill's that way ---->

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 19:04

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 16/06/2022 19:03

Some really attractive females know they have a lot of power over men and that it can upset the wives.

Redpill's that way ---->

Not sure what you mean

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 16/06/2022 19:05

Yes, you're right about not reacting to her. She is completely irrelevant to you and your DH in every way and deserves about the same attention as a stray dog staring. I might have been a bit annoyed (not that my DH is particularly gorgeous) but, on the whole, people are allowed to look at whatever they want when they're in a public place. So even if you got a total YANBU agreement it makes no difference, nobody has the right to tell her where she can and can't direct her eyes.

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 19:06

Yes this is why I didn’t react. Still pissed me off but I think the general consensus here is to move on

OP posts: