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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was she being unreasonable

40 replies

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:44

This has been bugging me
I’m probably just being insecure
my husband and I and our children were at the airport yesterday about to fly home and as we wee boarding I noticed two attractive females going on the plane. One was literally staring at my husband. I assume checking him out (he’s hot. No gonna lie). Usually that wouldn’t bother me as a lady will look and just be sly about it. This one was blatantly staring and did so for quite a long time. He didn’t seem to even notice to be honest. He’s pretty respectful around me and will never gawp at another female in my company. Anyway then she clocked me so I just thought she’d realise oh there’s his wife and that would be her social cue to not stare like a love struck puppy. Anyway sue didn’t stop. She briefly stared at me and then continued to check him out. Weird. So on the flight he was sitting alone as the seats were separate and he ends up sitting in front of her seat. She didn’t try to approach him or anything but as we were getting off and At this point I’m standing with him she comes face to face with him getting baggage out of the top. He was oblivious but she was staring him in the face trying desperately to make eye contact. He may have noticed but tried to avoid it so it wouldn’t give her the impression he was interested but honestly it was bizzare. It really pissed me off. Checking out a fit guy is one thing but eye balling him when he’s wi to his wife is a bit odd. He said he didn’t think he knew her and I don’t know how he would know her anyway she’s about 20 years younger than him anyway. So was her behaviour unreasonable? Or am I unreasonable for caring. It’s made me feel a bit insecure. I thought she may be looking for some sort of reaction so didn’t rise to it and confront her as figured this would make me look insecure (which clearly I am)! I’ve never really noticed a woman blatantly check out my husband in front of me before so …

OP posts:
worraliberty · 16/06/2022 19:07

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:54

Tenterden that would be so annoying! No he actually lost his ring ages ago and keeps saying he wants a new one! Maybe that didn’t help the situation but even so he had children with him and a woman so most people would just clock oh wife/partner etc

Maybe you should buy him another.

There's nothing like a man slipping his finger into his wife's ring, to put other women off...

YetAnotherChanger · 16/06/2022 19:07

I’ve been confronted for this, full on staring at a man who was with his partner. I hadn’t even considered the man was hot but he was an absolute doppelgänger of my friend who had passed a few months before.
I probably tried to make eye contact desperately and also appeared to be in a trance.
The woman grabbed my arm and spun me towards her asking if she could help me.
I don’t know who was more embarrassed when I tried to explain - me, him or her.
Least you didn’t do that OP!

LucieLemon · 16/06/2022 19:09

Try and reframe it as best as you can. There's nothing to feel jealous about, they didn't share any interaction, not even fleetingly. Husband was respectful to you and oblivious of her. Yes she may have been attractive but I'm sure you're not Quasimodo-esque.

The only thing you may need to concede on is that she is younger? No achievement on her part, we were all young once.

She tried her best to eek out some interaction with him and failed miserably, you're well within your rights to feel a little smug on this occasion. Smile

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 19:09

YetAnotherChanger · 16/06/2022 19:07

I’ve been confronted for this, full on staring at a man who was with his partner. I hadn’t even considered the man was hot but he was an absolute doppelgänger of my friend who had passed a few months before.
I probably tried to make eye contact desperately and also appeared to be in a trance.
The woman grabbed my arm and spun me towards her asking if she could help me.
I don’t know who was more embarrassed when I tried to explain - me, him or her.
Least you didn’t do that OP!

Oh gosh that would be so awkward! Sorry to hear that though it must’ve felt horrible to see someone who looked so similar to someone you care about that had passed. Thankyou for that perspective. It makes me see it in a different light

OP posts:
Newmumatlast · 16/06/2022 19:10

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 18:54

Tenterden that would be so annoying! No he actually lost his ring ages ago and keeps saying he wants a new one! Maybe that didn’t help the situation but even so he had children with him and a woman so most people would just clock oh wife/partner etc

Tbh some people may think unmarried and you say you were sat apart so maybe thought you weren't together or you were nanny or friend? Tbh even if was obvious you're together, I wouldn’t let it bother me as she was only looking and he did nothing to encourage it.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 16/06/2022 19:10

I feel so sorry for dh now because in that situation I'd be like "hey do you know her she's trying to catch your eye." Oblivious to any power move she might actually have going on

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 19:11

Newmumatlast · 16/06/2022 19:10

Tbh some people may think unmarried and you say you were sat apart so maybe thought you weren't together or you were nanny or friend? Tbh even if was obvious you're together, I wouldn’t let it bother me as she was only looking and he did nothing to encourage it.

You’re right he reacted well in the situation

OP posts:
Bunnyfuller · 16/06/2022 19:12

A woman stared at your bloke. Be happy he isn’t a munter.

FOJN · 16/06/2022 19:13

I rather rudely stared at a man many years ago because he was the spitting image of Jason Donovan. I wasn't eyeing him up with a view to making a move.

Turns out it was Jason Donovan.

Fullsomefrenchie · 16/06/2022 19:15

Did she think he looked like her dad or uncle or something? Maybe he knew her from work and was ignoring her as he knows you’re jealous? Maybe he’s copped off with her before and she wasn’t going to say anything, but was trying to get him to acknowledge?

the reason I say it is it’s very odd for him to not react and just ignore like that, feels deliberate, which makes me think he knew her. If it was as blatant as you say then she knew him and he was trying to pretend he didn’t.

Philisophigal · 16/06/2022 19:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the user's request.

Nowomenaroundeh · 16/06/2022 19:47

I reckon he'd hooked up with her pretending to be single and she was letting him know he'd been rumbled.

MolliciousIntent · 16/06/2022 19:49

Nowomenaroundeh · 16/06/2022 19:47

I reckon he'd hooked up with her pretending to be single and she was letting him know he'd been rumbled.

Jeez, what miserable cynicism!

Foxgloves123 · 16/06/2022 19:55

Haha he definitely hasn’t done anything with her before. He is very trustworthy and I really know he just wouldn’t cheat. In fact I’d be blown away if that was the case! He also deffo doesn’t look like my son! I’m younger than him by quite a bit! (Not 20 years though haha)

OP posts:
mnnewbie111 · 16/06/2022 20:02

Did he have something on his face?

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