To think she does good deeds for the glory

[moita]

I realise I sound bitchy but a mum from my daughter's school seems like a glory hunter I feel. She is a SAHM (no shade, I am too) with a wealthy husband. She loves buying treats for the whole class and also makes sure to send a message around the mums 'buying sweets for them today- hope that's OK!'.

She's bought extravagant presents for the teacher and TAs (loudly talked about).

I think it's great for the kids but there's a few other mums who have done things for the school but done it very quietly and anonymously (only know as I have to go in a lot for my daughter and I've bumped into them kn the corridors etc)

I think I feel for the mums overlooked by use it's time rather than money they're giving.

Is the class in a state school with quite a mixed demographic?

I’ve had a mother like this in my class who would do stuff like this.

i thought she was full-on, but a really lovely person. As I got to know her more, it turns out she grew up poor and went without simple treats. Now she was very wealthy and her children were the ‘rich kids’. She would frequently drop in treats and presents and body glitter on disco day so none of the other children (many who lived in poverty) would ever go without either.

School leadership had no problem with it,
so I went with it. The children certainly loved it!

@LaMarschallin

LOL! You've definitely got the up on me then, one at Uni, one at secondary here.

The main thing parents need to teach their kids is self control so if they are given sweets they aren't shovelling them in as they leave the playground. Then it doesn't matter what their children are given or when.

Once parents learn to say no and teach their children how they expect them to behave rather than expecting others to behave in a way that suits their children then the whole world will be a happier place with less horribly entitled people IMO.

RitaSkeetersdictaphone

Once parents learn to say no and teach their children how they expect them to behave rather than expecting others to behave in a way that suits their children then the whole world will be a happier place with less horribly entitled people IMO.

I definitely agree with that.

(Both mine have finished university and are happy in their jobs. The younger one's getting married this year and a month later the elder is due to have a baby
It'll be interesting to see if the elder one deals with the sweet issue the same as or differently from me. The proof of the sugary dessert pudding, I guess )

This has always been my thinking. It does my child no good to be a have amongst have nots. Sharing nice things and the experience of having nice things is something that brings me pleasure.

It's hard to do nice things discreetly. I gave the teacher extra money for the mother's Day sale in case there were have nots. She told the children it was from me.

I'd love to stand in the playground today and give out free ice lollies but what would the parents say? 😮

Is this a usual thing now?
That parents send in sweets or some form of treats for the whole class when it's not their child's birthday or anything?
I don't think most parents or the school would have been okay with that when mine were at primary school (1990s to early 2000s).

Grandma@LaMarschallin ! Yes, think the biggest issue for me if/when I get to that stage is how mine parent around tech. My brother’s dc are 15 years younger than mine and tech obsessed and it’s not monitored well at home. My two are phone obsessed (and I have mostly given up on trying to parent that now although still managing to get ds to charge his downstairs at night so he gets time off). It’s hard enough negotiating that side of parenting with teens. I feel for the next gen!

Definitely not the done thing in primary schools where we live. I don't think the school would allow it.

At the secondary I work in, students bring in cake for their friends' birthdays and do a little picnic, which I always find really lovely. I don't think random bags of sweets for the whole class is usual and, like it or not, some parents would be "livid" others would be mildly miffed. Yes, parents need to teach their dcs to just say no to sweets or say no themselves when their dc comes out of school with ANOTHER bag of sweets. We do that. My kids are pretty good about it and aren't sweet obsessed, (probably because we aren't overly strict), but would I think highly of a parent who frequently bought high sugar treats for lots of children she doesn't know? No, not really. I wouldn't hate her, but I wouldn't love her for it either.

Having said that though, our school is one where parents are unlikely to not be able to afford extra treats for dcs. It is a little different in deprived areas, but even still, sweets aren't the best way to treat kids in those areas. Food deserts are a problem in this country and even more so where I come from, and sweets aren't the issue there; it's a lack of high quality, nutritious food. Sweets are cheap and last forever. The intentions are probably good though, which is nice.

Ugh double negative - should have said "parents are likely to be able to afford..."

I make a habit of extra money for cake sales as youngest is still the age where the teacher controls it. So I write on the envelope that I've put in extra in case his friends forgot it was cake sale day/ bring a whatever in day. I've also donated his old Christmas jumpers to the dress up box in class (obviously useful to the next class) after i saw it on here. Subtle stuff, because I'm highly unpopular anyway. I don't want to be seen as bragging. Also to remain 'anonymous' I go yo the office yo make a donation to class funds but ask them to keep it anonymous.

Sounds like the blonde mum on Motherland !!

She would never give sweets. Organic, gluten free carob bites maybe. 😆

RitaSkeetersdictaphone
Grandma Yes! Also, yikes!
Yes, phones and the internet came in gradually as mine were growing up so less of an issue. It sounds tricky for parents now.

VonTrippTrapp
Thanks for that.
I seems so odd to me - a lot of what I read on MN gives me the impression that parents are more rigid about children's diets now, so bags of sweets from a random mother being sent in for everyone seems weird.

*It
Although "I" might sound odd too

@Erictheavocado Not much makes me cry, but oh boy....

Honestly, does it really matter? I mean literally why would you even give a shit. I’m assuming she irritates you in some way and you’re envious of her. Find something else to occupy your time.

Ha -@Fullsomefrenchie was just coming along to say this wouldn't get onto my give-a-shit radar either!

Well, she has to ask parents if their children are allowed sweets, so you can't fault her on that.