To ask how you juggle house chores and full time work

[Eurydice84]

If it wasn't for lunch breaks on WFH days, my weekends would be eaten up by house chores and cleaning. DH helps loads but we have a young DD and there is always so much to do. We used to have a cleaner once a fortnight, however we had to cut expenses recently and tbh I don't see the point - DD is a tornado and I would feel like wasting money as I know she would make a mess straight after the house has been cleaned! I am lucky to WFH a couple of days a week and I fit a few chores during my lunch break. I don't know I would manage otherwise!

I don’t see my cleaner as a waste. Yes, the baby makes mess with toys but cleaner does all the things I don’t have time for like the bathrooms, mopping floors, kitchen etc.

Easily.

We both just do what needs done.

I'm not saying my house is spotless but it's tidy and clean enough

What are you actually doing that’s taking up so much time?
It doesn’t make sense that 2 adults and 1 small child would need a weekend.
Obvious is that both adults make a conscious effort not to create mess. Tidying and cleaning as you go.
Then don’t give your child a choice to be a tornado. Think about what that actually means and cut it off at source.
For example - toys everywhere? Only have one box out.
Sticky fingers on furniture? Only eat in one place.
Too many clothes to wash? Don’t change them so often / use an overall or apron.
Shoes kicked off where? Don’t allow it.

None of those might apply, but think about what does.

@Ebonyhorse I see your point, but DD here is going through a really messy phase: milk & crumbs on the floor just after it's been mopped, paint and colours everywhere, coming straight in from the garden with muddy wellies, etc. Once the house had been spotless at lunchtime and by dinnertime it was a tip 😅

@Testina that is very true, but still - the bed sheets need washing once a week, there is a big amount of laundry as DD is potty training and needs at least two different outfits for nursery every day, the bathrooms need cleaning once a week, and the floors need hoovering at least two or three times a week. Plus - washing up pans & pots can be quite time-consuming! Of course one can do everything bit by bit - which is what I am doing at the moment, using lunch breaks - but if I was in the office five days a week I would struggle!

That’s all things your choosing to allow though. She sounds about 3?

Milk and biscuits can only be eaten at the table (keep a mat under her chair and wipe up instantly - it’s seconds) or better still when weather appropriate, outside.

Paint and colours everywhere… plan the session. Limit the materials, move it outside, get good overalls, do it on a mat (I had a washable rug).

In from garden with muddy wellies? Lock the door so she has to knock so you can always say, “WELLIES!!!!” 🤣🤣🤣
Welly box outside the door and a photo of her putting her wellies into it stuck on the door. Not all, but most kids can be trained “shoes off in house”.

It’s far easier long term to set your activities up and house rules up to reduce the mess in the first place!

And of course - all 3 of those things can be cleared up immediately WITH HER by which parent is looking after her. Washing up paint bits needs to understood to be part of the activity.

If she’s not ready for potty training, stop. When they’re ready, it’s usually pretty quick.
Why does she need two outfits at nursery? Is that related to potty training accidents?

I’m not saying there isn’t a lot do - but two capable adults and one child out at nursery… is generally manageable.

Constantly decluttering

I'm with you OP and WFH two days a week is a lifesaver. Honestly though, we are spinning on a hamster wheel. It's relentless. However, I do think the cleaner is well worth it. Yes I'm forever cleaning up in the kitchen, but the loos and bathrooms are done. I don't do the floor upstairs in between her visits. As for pots and pans, out diet could be better, but I do things like microwave as much veg as poss to avoid pans.

Cleaner on a Friday and Shark hoover that is portable so I don't dread whipping it out for 5 minutes.

I have a 4 year old so understand the mess aspect but I have a motto of dealing with it there and then and tidy as we go. Take wellies off outside, paint on a mat you can rinse off under the outside tap, eat at table etc.

Clothes I do two washes a week.

I work from the office 5 days a week. Lone parent. I spend a bit of time each evening doing bits. Then have a blitz at the weekend. 1 task at a time then there’s less pressure at the weekend
i take a day of annual leave to do a deep deep clean if need be.

Agree with pp that it sounds like you are allowing DD access to mess making stuff in the wrong places. if she’s messy with food and drink, then all eating at the table. If she’s getting pint and crayon everywhere then only access sat on a mat or something that will contain in. Etc. If toys get everywhere then limit number of toys to whatever you have easy storage space for so they can be thrown in the storage quickly. Have boot/shoe storage outside or right inside the door on a mat and get her to take her shoes off before she comes in. Make a game of tidying up so that becomes play time with dd instead of just more time you’re spent cleaning. Try and get her outside more.

On general cleaning - I find a routine with a limited amount of time to spend and just do what I can in that time works best when I’m busy. So every morning I sort the dishwasher while the kettle boils and spend any extra time wiping the cooker down. Monday after work is 20 minutes cleaning the bedroom. Tuesday is 20 minutes cleaning the bathroom. Etc. maybe make it 30 minutes, put music on and have dd “help” so it isn’t just cleaning time, it’s time spent 1:1 with DD. (Have also found this is a good way to instil the idea chores are just something we all do).

Also, get rid of clutter or anything you have a bit too much of. More space makes keeping things clean and tidy way easier.

I have two teenagers and it isn't any better
Finished work and here i am sat on mumsnet when i should be getting dinner or cleaning
Dh not home from work yet
But dinner needs doing , dog needs walking , washing needs going on and some putting away, need to hoover and few bits
Will be gone 9pm before I get a bath and then im ready for bed not long after.
Would love a cleaner just to do a real thorough clean of bathrooms , floors etc

Just to add dh will chip in when hes back but everything we do tonight will just be keeping on top of it , not actually cleaning anywhere well

• I do have a cleaner, she comes in Monday.
• Washing kept to a minimum (usually 3 loads per week) and put in machine on a timer so it’s ready to put out first thing.
• Ironing only done on pain of death (linen shirts etc).
• Bed sheets changed on the weekend.
• Big shop on weekends

It works out pretty well really.

Oh and I cook from scratch but usually very quick and easy meals.

I adored having my cleaner and miss her so much now that we can no longer afford her. As soon as we can, I want her back. It's self care. My weekend and family time is valuable to me.

Have a no shoes in house policy. Art and craft activities confined to one area and supervised, wipe clean tablecloth etc, same for food and snacks keep it all in one place. Toys in a box to be returned when finished playing with. A cleaner won't tidy up for you but will keep on top of bathrooms, dusting and hoovering weekly. I'd get your cleaner back!

But in all honesty, feel a bit like I am drowning. Four kids, teacher and student. I declutter regularly but it's never enough to satisfy my minimalist dreams and aspirations

This is my dream....

You need to be better at cleaning as you go. Don't get new toys out without putting the old ones back, make washing up part of dinnertime, etc. A cleaner can do the laundry and blitz the bathrooms and kitchen once a week- only an hour or two as well as cleaning skirting boards and the bits you don't bother to do when you have a kid like hoovering under furniture. Then it's your responsibility to just keep on top of cleaning and tidying rather than big cleans

I split stuff up over the week, so I generally put a load of washing in and set it to wash overnight, in the morning, it gets hung on the airer. I hoover twice a week max, it takes about 20 minutes and I do it between dropping DD at school and login on for work on the days I WFH. I sweep the kitchen floors every night - 5 minutes. I mop a couple of times a week, again 5 minutes, just before I go to bed. Dusting happens rarely but generally, I do it while I'm on the phone to my mum or something like that. Wiping down surfaces etc happens after every meal. Toilets, get done one a day on rotation, the bath is done before I get in it, shower while I'm in it usually!
I also dropped my standards a lot 😉
Write down all the stuff you think you need to do and look at how you can split it out to a little every evening. Get DD to help with the bits she can. If she's old enough to potty train she's old enough to use a little dustpan and help you sweep the floor (badly 😂).
Oh & drop your standards again - or go back to a cleaner 😁

robo-vac - great on hard floors too.

And declutter - if everything has a place, it's so much faster to tidy and then clean.

Drop your standards or be permanently knackered cleaning and tidying in any spare minute. That's my dilemma. The only time i've managed to have a pristine house with all the washing and ironing done was when i was working npart time. I'm out of the house from 8am - 5.30pm and during that time I am slogging my guts out nonstop all day. I come in and flop with a cup of tea and that's it, I have minimal energy the rest of the night to do anything much except the cooking/loading dish washer/doing a load of washing and maybe running to the supermarket. I could do more when I was younger and prekids and small flat but not now I'm nearly 50 with teenagers and bigger house with garden.

I think one of the worst things you can do is procrastinate. So if you think "Oh Im just so tired I can't be bothered tidying the kitchen tonight, I|'ll do it in the morning" you just come downstairs in the morning to the mess and it starts your day off badly, and you're already behind. Things can very quickly out of hand so if you can find a routine of some sorts then you must stick to it or its not worth having.

Our house is a shit tip. I wish it wasn't. But DH and I are just too tired and busy to keep on top of it.

Usually I’d reply with lots of tips, but actually I just wanted to say this time I feel really similar to you. I do still have my cleaner, and I do wfh every day - so things should be unbelievably perfect - and yet they are far from it.

I blame my dd. She distracts me from doing my chores.

Quite simply, I don't juggle. Balls dropping everywhere.
Single parent with 5 Dc and I work full time, mostly from home. But we live in constant near chaos. Sometimes it looks like a war zone to be honest. Other times its not too bad, but I never ever feel on top of it.

I have learnt to just stop worrying so much about it. Things get done, when they get done. DC all have chores, so that helps, but there always seems so much to do.

My dream in life? To afford a cleaner! Heaven!