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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I don’t owe my friend money

69 replies

Amtheyest17 · 15/06/2022 22:21

Hello,

A friend of mine messaged asking if I would like to go to a show, and mentioned the cost of the ticket. I said yes and that I would transfer - I didn’t get around to it but 24hrs later I realised I can’t go because of the tube strikes! The show is a week away and my friend didn’t buy the ticket for me she already had them and asked if I would like to join. Not sure if she had just bought two or someone dropped out. She’s now messaged to ask if I could still transfer as I said I would go and she’s lost a day trying to find someone to take the ticket even though she still has a week to find someone.

Am I unreasonable to think I don’t owe her the money?

OP posts:

Dee00 · 16/06/2022 09:03

Ohh tricky one. You definitely do not owe her the money but, she will be out of pocket.

Can you suggest to her that you contact the theatre and see if you can change the tickets to another date?

If she is a bit funny about it, I would tell her you will pay for it, but, can you collect your ticket as you want to either sell it or swap it for another day.

Ask her who was meant to be going with her in the first place? Has that person paid her?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 16/06/2022 09:26

You don't pay her no. If she really wants someone to come with her then they can stay with her (sofa/sofa-bed etc) at her place on the day of the tube strike, if they're amenable to this.

Original poster

Amtheyest17 · 16/06/2022 11:58

Thank you for all the replies! I was really torn, I think the grey area is that if I had transferred I would’ve been responsible for it but just so happens I didn’t get around to it - which I kind of get why she’s annoyed! Also just for context I have a small baby so getting there on time would’ve required a lot of luck and military precision & the journey to the theatre would’ve been 50mins across three tubes on a good day! I followed up with:

’Wait, I thought you already had the ticket? or did you buy it for me?’

She replied

’ I already had it So&So couldn’t come so asked if you wanted it. Don’t worry about it will try and find someone else.’

So she’s no longer asking for the money, clearly a bit miffed but she definitely didn’t get it for me - not sure if she’s asked her other friend for the money or whether she was trying to get me to pay her other friend back!

OP posts:

Sswhinesthebest · 16/06/2022 18:43

Surely the first person, the person the ticket was actually bought for, needs to pay her. They’d have been lucky if you’d have been able to go and buy it off them. Now they need to find someone else.

WhackusBonkus · 16/06/2022 19:06

Nothing tricky about that… you don’t owe her anything.. she already had it. Blimey people are cheeky…

Mygodicanteven · 16/06/2022 19:12

She's a CF of the highest order.

mycatisannoying · 16/06/2022 19:14

If she had booked the ticket when you said yes, you would have to pay.
But because she already had the ticket anyway, you don't have to pay.

SarahJane83 · 16/06/2022 19:15

You are not being unreasonable and don’t owe her a penny. Don’t pay her anything. It might have a bad effect on your friendship unfortunately, but do you want to be friends with someone who takes advantage of you like this?

LoisLane66 · 16/06/2022 19:34

@TaranThePigKeeper
The OP said in her first post that her friend ALREADY HAD the tickets, she did not buy them especially for her and the OP.

Whereismumhiding4 · 16/06/2022 19:38

Oh well that's great OP. Your friend may be feeling a bit miffed but a. She can get refund for her friends ticket or if it's non refundable she can ask original friends that she bought ticket for, to refund her,
Ticket wasn't bought for you you don't owe anything as you got back to her in reasonable time, , she still has 6 days instead of 7 to find someone else.

JustABloodyMinute · 16/06/2022 19:45

She's being a bit cheeky, and I would never ask if I were her, but if I'd agreed to go then I would offer to pay.

alphons · 16/06/2022 19:46

She doesn’t see you as a friend. A friend wouldn’t have asked that of you.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 16/06/2022 20:38

She wants the full ticket price from you because she 'lost a day' trying to find someone to palm them off to. The only thing you are being unreasonable about is calling her a friend.

Hmm1234 · 16/06/2022 21:47

This reply has been deleted

This post has been removed as it contains a personal attack which goes against our Talk Guidelines.

Allibongo · 16/06/2022 23:07

My friend and I have tickets for Grease next week. We emailed the theatre and they have offered us a voucher to use on a different day. Do not pay her, she's trying it on

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 16/06/2022 23:50

*She’s a CF.

NEVER feel bad about saying ‘no’ to CFs. In fact, you should enjoy it.*

I love this!

E17Stowmum · 17/06/2022 00:16

It probably depends how close you are as friends. If it's going to leave her short I might let it pass: and on a future occasion she might help you out when you're stuck yourself. Or not, but your conscience will always be clear.
Best would be to ring her and work something out. Though - as above, it depends how close you are.

whatwasyournamesorry · 17/06/2022 20:56

If friend no 1 backed out due to trains then why she ask you, knowing you would have same
problem?

bit cheeky

PinkSyCo · 17/06/2022 21:07

You are not being unreasonable at all. Your friend is a cheeky fucker.

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