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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do in this difficult situation?

172 replies

cantwontwouldnt · 15/06/2022 20:43

Your child who is 12 or under is away for the night. They call you and say that the person in charge of them has left and there is an emergency they cannot handle. You have had a bottle of wine/or 4 fine/or 6 beers etc. There is no option of walking/taxi/ambulance/calling someone to help. Would you get in the car and drive to them? About 30 minutes away.

OP posts:
BadNomad · 16/06/2022 01:32

Either this is one of those ethical/morality dilemmas...or a child has been left home alone and the OP doesn't want to get the other adult in trouble so won't call the emergency services and therefore wants people to say it's ok to drink drive on this occasion.

CodeNamechange · 16/06/2022 01:52

I can think of reasons why they wouldn't be able to call emergency services like if they lived in the arse end of nowhere with no phone signal which is possible

SD1978 · 16/06/2022 02:41

Taxi, police or ambulance. There is no scenario where the police or an ambulance isn't available.

kateandme · 16/06/2022 03:47

There is no scenario where this would apply.there would ALWAYS be someone.if you can get to them someone else in the world can too.so this isn't a game we can play where there ever needs to be driving yourself option.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/06/2022 04:03

But as Nanny Ogg says, cutting of the head pretty much works for anything

Damn skippy. Fetch the good kitchen knife.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/06/2022 04:05

SD1978 · 16/06/2022 02:41

Taxi, police or ambulance. There is no scenario where the police or an ambulance isn't available.

I have actually been in the UK, Highlandy/Islandy area when the policeman and taxi driver were both at the wedding and there was no one in the vicinity.

However, the coastguard would have been a good shout if we'd needed someone. There are parts of the UK where you rely on you and yours a bit more.

NumberTheory · 16/06/2022 04:14

After a bottle of wine I would probably be less capable than my 12 yr old. And the chances of me getting to wherever they are in a reasonable amount of time (or at all) driving would not be high. Hopefully I would still be able to realise this despite being blotto. I would probably spend my time trying to find alternatives, maybe post on here and see if there's a helpful MNer nearby.

Helenloveslee4eva · 16/06/2022 05:18

Sorry if my child is away I don’t drink for this reason

MakeMineAdoubleChocolate · 16/06/2022 05:28

6 beers is a lot. People can be absolutely drunk as a skunk on that. no way would I drive intoxicated. But then again I dont drink and hate alcohol.

Why is ambulance not an option?

Gwlondon · 16/06/2022 05:50

You book a taxi from your house. But ask them to wait. Collect child and go back in taxi. Probably costly.

SingleMomIreland · 16/06/2022 06:02

'What would I do in this difficult situation?' - report you to your local MH team. What an utterly ridiculous fake scenario. There is always help available of some sort. A NDN, local shop, emergency services.
I hope its not the case that as a pp had suggested, this maybe true, and you're trying to get the go ahead to drink and drive.
If you can't think clearly enough to fix this without asking Mumsnet, you're not fit to use the kettle, never mind drive a car.

lightand · 16/06/2022 06:28

No!!!!!!!!!!

There is always an option of someone else.
Plus, it is a given, that you dont put others in danger by drink driving.

AppleWax · 16/06/2022 06:38

If it is a fake situation like a zombie apocalypse then -


  1. you cannot help your kid because the zombies have already got them

  2. you won’t be able to drive because you need your wits about you to survive a zombie apocalypse

  3. the zombies may be attracted to the smell of alcohol (depends on the type of zombie) and you would lead them to your kid making a bad situation worse.


therefore the best thing to do is

  1. teach your kid to handle different emergencies, including what to do when an adult is not around
  2. pick responsible adults/parents to ship your kid to for a sleepover.
  3. your kid is still your responsibility so don’t drink when they are on a sleepover.
  4. don’t drink and drive ever
FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 16/06/2022 06:39

onelittlefrog · 16/06/2022 01:20

Whatever situation the child is in, things will most likely get an awful lot worse from them if they lose a parent in a road accident. So no, I wouldn't.

I don’t know, the child in the edge with the imaginary wings is in a pretty bad situation regardless.

i think we can all conclude, that as plots for your book go, there’s much more mileage in the abducted by fairies plot.

erinaceus · 16/06/2022 06:45

It depends on the nature of the emergency, surely? There are a number of emergencies a 12 year old could not cope with on their own, which could be managed through being coached on the phone by you, even if you are too drunk to drive.

This phone coaching would make for a dramatic scene in a movie, split screen, kid in a lonely house, drunken and distressed adult in a bright apartment, ominous soundtrack.

PotatoFamily · 16/06/2022 06:50

@SalmonEile he’s just about recovered a year on, thank god, apart from the ptsd. Had to have skin grafts and can’t get his legs in the sun anymore. It was horrific.

There quite often is NO emergency services. If our neighbour hadn’t been able to take us that day, he’d have had to wait ten hours with third degree burns. I don’t drive.

In the OPs crazy made up scenario, the fact that there is no police/ambulance is probably 100% true in todays world.

ilovelurchers · 16/06/2022 06:56

Well, yes, IF I was somehow in a situation where the only way I could save my child's life was to drink and drive, I would wjthout hesitation. I love my child beyond measure and would do many bad things if it was literally the only way to save her.

I cannot possibly imagine this situation arising, however. (Especially as I neither drink, nor drive). I suppose in a zombie apocalypse I might turn to drink as I slowly watched the demise of the human race. And I probably wouldn't worry too much about driving without a license, as I'd largely only be hitting the undead if I did crash, anyway.

So yeah, in a zombie apocalypse, if DD and I got separated and she called me scared, when I was pissed, I might well drink drive to get her.

(I am quite hoping someone comes on to lecture me about how evil I am for saying that!)

Chocoqueen · 16/06/2022 07:00

FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 15/06/2022 21:12

Why don’t we all just offer equally bizarre and unlikely scenarios?

What would you do if your child aged 12 or under (so they could be 2 🤷🏻‍♀️) has been abducted by creatures that may or may not be fairies? You’ve eaten a pork pie or 2 bags of crisps or an out of date pickled egg. You cannot call the emergency services because they don’t exist. Do you arm yourself with an iron fire poker and go to find the entrance to fairyland (c. 30 minutes away)?

No, in this one I'd sneeze a lot then say thank you everytime someone said 'bless you', thereby killing all the fairies. The child could then escape while I finish my crisps.

EarringsandLipstick · 16/06/2022 07:16

FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 15/06/2022 21:12

Why don’t we all just offer equally bizarre and unlikely scenarios?

What would you do if your child aged 12 or under (so they could be 2 🤷🏻‍♀️) has been abducted by creatures that may or may not be fairies? You’ve eaten a pork pie or 2 bags of crisps or an out of date pickled egg. You cannot call the emergency services because they don’t exist. Do you arm yourself with an iron fire poker and go to find the entrance to fairyland (c. 30 minutes away)?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Brilliant

Dancingwithhyenas · 16/06/2022 07:24

I’d ring a family or friend who could drive and help them

rnsaslkih · 16/06/2022 07:33

You get a relative or neighbour to drive you

and in the future you don’t polish off a bottle of wine when such a problem could arise.

Meraas · 16/06/2022 07:40

FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 15/06/2022 21:00

Why even ask the question? It makes precisely no sense.

I think we’re supposed to find it thought ptovoking.

FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 16/06/2022 07:42

Chocoqueen · 16/06/2022 07:00

No, in this one I'd sneeze a lot then say thank you everytime someone said 'bless you', thereby killing all the fairies. The child could then escape while I finish my crisps.

Show quote history

I’m not sure I can sneeze on demand though.

Spanielsarepainless · 16/06/2022 07:51

No, I wouldn't, because I wouldn't want to kill or main someone else's child or parent if I had an accident, or my child on the way back.

Brefugee · 16/06/2022 07:58

There is no police/ambulance/fire service. This isn't a real scenario by the way just curious.

rubbish scenario. These things have to be realistic.
The answer is never ever drive if you have been drinking