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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect to walk through to playground with my dd's and not have some psycho mum teaching them new swear words

41 replies

kerryk · 14/01/2008 19:11

dd1 (p2) and dd2 (nursery) both get picked up from the back of the school, we then have to walk back round to the front to get out the playground, on the way there we have to pass the p4 door.

there was another mum who standing at the p4 door with her other child, a little boy of around 4. today when we walked past she was shouting at him to "come back here you little cu*t" my mouth about hit the floor in shock, when he never came right over to her she shouted that she was going to "batter him"

i turned to my friend expecting to see her as shocked at me but she just said oh thats so and so she always talks like that to her children, i said i had never seen her before and my friend laughed saying that she cant believe i have missed her for this long, seemingly she is the talk of the school because of the way she acts.

by this point we were past her and i made some comment about next time i hear her talking like that i will have to say som,ething but my friend says someone had already done this and ended up getting a punch i am no way scared of speaking my mind but dont want to end up scrapping with some psycho in the playground.

my dd1 asked me what a cu*t was when we were passed her.

OP posts:
ArmadilloDaMan · 14/01/2008 19:16

poor little boy.

Hs anyone reported her to SS?

Original poster
kerryk · 14/01/2008 19:17

i have no idea. if she is like this in public i dread to think what she is like behind closed doors.

OP posts:
Maidamess · 14/01/2008 19:19

I would speak to the head teacher about this (sorry, I don't know what p2/p4 is, is it year 2 and year 4?) That type of language should not be used in a public place, never mind a playground. I think it is down to the school to sort out anti social behaviour on their premises.

lilacclaire · 14/01/2008 19:21

Yikes!
I don't even speak like that behind closed doors and I can swear like a trooper (usually in my own head when ds is being bad)
I make a conscious effort to tone it down in front of ds's as I don't want them to be as foul mouthed as me!
Am seriously shocked at this woman

glaskham · 14/01/2008 19:23

yeah i agree what maidamess says!!....i'm lucky enough to have a lady who sounds just like that living next door....last year my nice neighbours house was bought by a man who did it up and is now renting to her!! argh!! she sometimes screms such vile language at her kids i have to put the tv on and up the volume to drown her out!!

Original poster
kerryk · 14/01/2008 19:23

i have no idea what year2 year 4 is

i think the reason i have never seen her before is because i hurry of every morning to get to work but a lot of the other mums hang around and chat, seemingly this mum is keeping everyone updated about ttc no.3!!!

OP posts:
Maidamess · 14/01/2008 19:24

Year 2 is aged 6-7 and Year 4 is aged8-9

Original poster
kerryk · 14/01/2008 19:25

to make matters even worse (in my mind anyway) she has the same name as my lovely dd2. its quite a unusual name and she is one of the the only other people i have met who has it

OP posts:
Original poster
kerryk · 14/01/2008 19:26

p2 is 5-7 and p4 7-8 but the scottish schools start a year later than the english so that works out.

OP posts:
ScruffyTeddy · 14/01/2008 19:28

This is why my son goes to the school he does. At our local one, this kind of behaviour (from some parents) seems totally acceptable...in fact, they seem to think it makes them look "hard". They revel in the attention, no matter how negative.

I used to have a friend who spoke to her kids like this (we are no longer friends). She laughed about it, but the rest of our little group were horrified and she didnt seem to notice .

She was also often heard complaining about one of her boys being excluded from school "I just dont know what to do about him" {sigh}, but clearly she liked the attention as she would tell the whole playground, while everyone was thinking "maybe, just maybe, you should take a look at your own actions".

shatteredmumsrus · 14/01/2008 19:29

foul mouthed woman, poor kids. if i think about it long enough i get really upset about these things. god knows what goes on behind closed doors

Shaniece · 14/01/2008 19:29

This is not at all uncommon. Some parents just don't know how to communicate properly with their DC's - its very . Poor kids.

I hate swearing and also arguing in front of little ones and especially swearing AT them .

shatteredmumsrus · 14/01/2008 19:32

me too. I know the world is not a bed of roses but little ones should be protected for as long as possible from this kind of behaviour

VictorianSqualor · 14/01/2008 19:34

There is a similar woman at the school my DD attends, she actually hauled a friend of mine up in front of all the children and parents at home time and went ballistic at her because my friends child had supposedly kicked her son, (though friends DD told her it had been after a large amount of provocation and an attack on her)

I saw her the other day telling her son to 'get fucking back here NOW, before I kick your fucking arse you little shit'!

Does make you wonder exactly how her son must think it is normal to react....

Wisteria · 14/01/2008 19:34

We had one like this when mine were at primary school; was so sad. Her little boy used to come out of reception proudly holding his picture and she'd just laugh at it say something along the lines of "hurry up you little bas**rd" and half tear his arm out of his socket as she frogmarched him across the playground.

Needless to say 7-8 yrs on and both her boys have been excluded from all the local primary schools (just passed round them in turn) and are now in pupil referral units. They were gorgeous boys as well - I don't understand how it's allowed and why these Mums don't seem to get any help.

mrsruffallo · 14/01/2008 19:35

I can't believe that is normal or uncommon!
I have never heard language like this in a playground before, including state schools.
I find it shocking that anyone would suggest this normal practice in any school!
My dd goes to a local religious school and some of the parents look quite mean but talking to youer child like this and threatening to batter them definitely be unacceptable!
I would report her to the head as a she needs someone in authority at the school to explain that this is not how one behaves.

VictorianSqualor · 14/01/2008 19:40

Unfortunately Mrs.ruffalo it is, I can say there is only oen child at DD's current school I ahve ever heard spoken to like this, but at ehr old school, it was normal practice, I even heard the parents of two young boys discussing how they made them fight each other and the last one to cry was the winner

Shaniece · 14/01/2008 19:44

People like this are in the minority thank goodness but it does happen as posters have said. Wisteria's story is sad and I have also witnessed similar. One child I witnessed similar to Wisteria story is now in a young offenders unit - and the parents are VERY proud .

Original poster
kerryk · 14/01/2008 19:44

even more now that everyone else seems to know a mum like this, either that or we are all at the same school.

she is quite a rough looking person, her little boy did not seem bothered about how she was talking though which is really sad, he was happily spashing in the puddles (as was every other child in the playground)

OP posts:
Shaniece · 14/01/2008 19:47

There is usually one parent like you described Kerryk at MOST Schools. Its very sad for the kids ins't it?

ScruffyTeddy · 14/01/2008 19:48

It wont make a difference IME mrsruffalo. Parents like this do exist.

When I was friends with that woman ive seen her belt her two year old across the head because he dared to walk outside when we were chatting in the garden

Blandmum · 14/01/2008 19:54

DSIL works as a primary teacher, one of her kids told her to 'Fuck off you cunt'

He wouldn't have said it unless he'd heard it at home.

Sadly these parents do exist

mrsruffallo · 14/01/2008 19:55

Victorian Squalor, making your children fight is abuse and you can be prosecuted for it. There was a recent case of this.
I think its time for these people to be reported to social services- by everyone on here that has witnessed these kinds of incidents.
Please don't think this acceptable. Even the poorest most ill educated people would find this appalling. There really is no excuse.

Shaniece · 14/01/2008 19:57

Exactly MB. My DD aged 5 told me a boy in her class said the F word and was told by the teacher to stand in the corner for 10 minutes to cool off. I was shocked my DD even said F word (her exact word).

ScruffyTeddy · 14/01/2008 20:15

oh you haven't heard the best...the woman I speak of is determined to train as a social worker.

Makes my blood run cold quite frankly.

She really has no idea. {shudder}