Should a 33 year old man know better?

[namegamechangers]

Name changed.

DP is insistent on not using condoms for the full duration of sex, but says he is keen to avoid pregnancy. I am not on any other form of birth control and have made it known abortion is not birth control.

YANBU - he secretly wants to get me pregnant
YABU - he is just foolish

To be honest OP I’m struggling to see the problem then. You want DC, you aren’t using protection and can afford to support DC on your own.

Worst case scenario you get pregnant and he leaves, best case you get pregnant and he stays.

but yes, he is stupid to think no condoms / pulling out is safe

That’s a bit of a drip feed OP

But if you are 41, financially independent and want a baby.. I still don’t understand what you are on. Why don’t you sort out a sperm donor and have one on your own? - that’s going to be a lot easier that managing a baby plus the man child. I am sure he has good qualities, but he is not ready for adulthood, never mind fatherhood,

Don't have sex with this prick.

I think you both need to sort your lives/heads out.

How many others has he been with without a condom?

Are you sure that you can cope with pregnancy after being robbed at gunpoint with your anxiety? Money is nothing in the scheme of things. This.

Also imagine if you do get pregnant and suddenly he wants to share custody with you or refuses to leave your home. It can really get nasty. Get a sperm donor like my friend did. She doesn't have a horrible man to share her child with.

I'm not sure why you are using the term "D"P - or even still with him.
If you don't consent to unprotected sex, and he goes ahead anyway, surely that's rape?
Tell him to sod off and take his STDs with him.

I think you're both being foolish

Him by the preferring sex without a condom and burying his head in the sand about or expecting you to deal with the consequences. Some people prefer 'risky' sex

You by wanting a baby but trying to achieve that with someone who doesn't want one, and where it's less likely to happen than with someone you were actively trying with and who could finish inside you instead of somewhere else / in a condom which will significantly reduce your chances

People are asking if you could be a single parent. And that's certainly one question. But the other question is: could you cope with being tied do thi

Pressed send too soon. Could you cope with being tied to this man for the next 18+ years, if he did decide to co-parent?

I think he knows exactly what he is doing.

He doesn’t want to use condoms so he isn’t. If you do fall pregnant he will vanish. He thinks it’s unlikely because of your age.

When he decides he does want kids he will dump you and find someone else.

You sound like you are both using each other. C

Tell Him you think you might be pregnant and go from there.

A bit harsh

I'm embarrassed to ask, what's dgaf?

Don't/doesn't/didn't give a fuck.

Doesn't give a fuck.

Also a good song.

If this is what you want, and it sounds like you can go it alone financially if he changes his mind when the baby is born, and he's not particularly bothered - and is clear you won't abort - then you go for it OP. 🌹

If you're just after a sperm donor crack on, you might not get pregnant given your age but I'm older than you and not taking any chances on getting pregnant again.

Don't be disappointed if all you see of him is a cloud of dust after you announce your pregnancy.

A baby is probably the most pleasant thing unprotected sex with this man could give you.

it sound extremely irresponsible on both parts.

Flip the question round, he's made it clear to you he does not want a baby but you're still consenting to risky sex knowing he doesn't want a baby.

With your updates I actually think he knows you're desperate for a baby so you won't insist on a condom for the whole act because you want to get pregnant, but in putting a condom on at the end he's reducing the chances while still getting all the sex he wants and if you do end up pregnant he will either dump you, or be very very very hands off with his child and whenever you ask him to do his fair share he will be "I told you I didn't want a baby"

Can see him being the type to tell future girlfriend "she tricked me"

Yep, option 3

She does consent, she wants to get pregnant.

I mean that’s the best case scenario - she gets pregnant and he disappears. But what about the opposite? Suddenly she’s tied to this man, and she sounds pretty well off. Older woman (older than him), substantial sum left by ex-husband, nice place in Manhattan. Disappearing is the best of the worst really.

You both sound silly. I think he chose an older woman (rather than his own age) because you’re less likely to fall pregnant. You’re silly because you don’t sound like you’re that into him and just want his sperm.

He doesn’t care about you and you don’t respect yourself

It is also your responsibility as well. You can't call him foolish and then have sex with him, it makes you one too.