AIBU to bribe my kids to read

[Theblackdogagain]

I have twin boys age 13 who won't read, I've tried buying them books they want, taking away electronics but nothing works. I've now said if they read 3 books or graphic novels by 1st Sept they can have vbucks for fortnight. The books have to be a suitable length (so not comics) and quality (a bit more advanced then wimpy kid)
Aibu? Reading is so important and I'm running out of ideas.

Your not unreasonable and it’s a fair time frame, My DD is the same hates reading she’s 11 it used to really annoy/upset me that she didn’t have the love for books I just couldn’t comprehend it.
I introduced her to audiobooks I know it’s no the same as actually reading but it’s actually broadened her knowledge and language skills her y 6 teacher has noticed a great improvement maybe a idea to introduce?

Would they like to read non fiction?

I would be happy with non fiction but they won't read that either, I've tried audio books but no joy.

Doesn’t sound like a good idea to me. I think limiting gaming time and providing books that catch their interest is a better idea. Otherwise they’ll just rush through a couple of random books (probably graphic novels) to spend money on online gaming. I think gaming is so addictive it sort of takes over other pastimes - I know I wouldn’t have spent hours reading as a kid if I had computers and phones and so on. It’s that instant gratification.

Reading is important, but I think mandatory reading kills the joy of reading. Realistically not everyone is a big reader. And some people aren’t big readers as teens but then read a lot as adults. I love reading myself but not everyone does and that’s okay.

Your children aren't you. They're individuals and should allowed to have their own interests and dislikes. I do not understand this obsession with forcing kids to read. Do they read assigned materials for schools? I'd be insistent upon that but I think forcing books upon them is only going to make them hate reading even more. I'd certainly make books readily available but that's about it.

I do the same with my 7 yr old with writing. His handwriting is really beginning to hold him back so we have to regularly practice at home with him. He hates it. Nearly always resort to bribery!

I had an 11 year old boy in my class whose parents said he didn't read anything.

Then one day he brought in the first Harry Potter book and said he had enjoyed it.

Will your sons read J K Rowling?

I sympathise - my DC never read anything. It turned out that they had visual stress and were prescribed tinted glasses to stop the words and letters moving (diagnosed about age 9). But they never got in the habit of reading.

I resorted to bribery - pocket money, days out, toys or whatever. Limited success. They're now doing GCSEs and will possibly never read another book in their life. But as long as they pass their exams I won't worry. Good luck; you are definitely not alone.

Reading is important but forcing it like this I doubt will help. Nor will snobbery about the “quality” of reading material.

I distinctly remember my mum paying me to read Jane Eyre aged 8, instead of the Babysitters Club I was more into. I loved reading, though.

There are just people in life who don't read for pleasure, for whatever reason. If they DO enjoy reading, then let them read what they like, even if that means Wimpy Kid or comics! At least they're reading, right?

13 is a hard age for boys for books, although much better now than 15-20 years ago. They'll possibly enjoy sci-fi or fantasy as they get a bit older, but a lot of it can be tricky to get into at first, so puts younger readers off. Or isn't age appropriate!

Can they read fully enough to read an instruction book? Or a sign at a railway station that tells you what platform to go to? Or a list of rules on the wall? Or a cooking recipe? Or an appointment letter?

If they can read but don't want to read fiction then leave them be.
Everyone needs to be able to read to function in society - but reading novels is something you either enjoy or you don't.

So we have all the harry potters, every book on the kids school reading list, plus anything they fancy. If I restrict gaming, which I do they will do anything other than read and it's affecting school, both reading ages are below where they should be. I've got the coloured strips in case that was an issue. It's gcse time in a couple of years and they need to be able to read well and with comprehension.

Mine (all boys) were avid readers until around the age of 13 and then it dropped off as other interests took priority. One reads loads again, but only about his particular interests. I think if you’ve done a good job with the reading until now I wouldn’t worry too much.

Sorry I hadn’t seen your latest post about being behind with reading.

Op, I did similar to you. I took away gadgets at bedtime, then I offered them a reward for every book they finished and they were allowed to read whatever they want.
They found a few books that they really got into (The Enemy series by Charlie Higson was a hit for one Ds and the other loved books by Dan Smith and Alan Gratz) and Ds1 started to go through my Stephen King books at 14. He did very well in his English GCSEs so I consider it was worth it.
He reads of his own choice now and is currently reading a non fiction book about drug cartels but hooray too. So, yes, I'm all for bribery if it helps.

If they’re seriously behind in schoolwork and have poor reading comprehension I don’t think rushing through a couple of graphic novels to get more v-bucks will help with that. Can you speak to their teacher and see if they are significantly behind? If so they could be supported either at school or with proper tutoring.

My kids have 15-20 mins in bed every night where the options are read or sleep. They read. Whereas they wouldn't read in the day when there are other options.

Also, we still read aloud to them - sometimes it takes a while to get started on a story and so reading chapter 1 with an adult may help.

It's a good idea, but you need to specify the books.

YABU, sorry. I know it is coming from a good place but doing thsi will fuck up their reading even more.

Do they have any role models who read much?

Read about intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation, it is so important. Bribes are to be avoided for everything.

Ds1 I have spoken too, we've stopped his music lessons as they were always I'm English qnd they are pushing their side but I've asked for support.
Ds2 has other issues health wise and has missed half a term of school, he does have the class book and is more open to reading.

I think you are being unreasonable. As long as they have access to a variety of books, it’s their choice if they doesn’t want to read. As an adult I go through reading peaks and troughs. Just because they aren't into reading now, doesn’t mean they won’t start again as an adult (just as reading prolifically as a child doesn’t guarantee they’ll keep it up as they grow up). I’d just accept that about them for now and not make a big deal of it. Maybe she’ll come back to reading, maybe she won’t. Having reading be a chore to having punishments for not reading isn't likely to endear them to it.

Also worth thinking about, do you read around your children? I know so many parents who feel it's important for their children to read but thither don't read at all, or only read when their children aren't around. If the adults around them default to phones, games or TV for entertainment then that's what they will learn.

I don't agree. If that's all they can read then they would not be considered fully literate as adults. Reading long texts develops cognitive skills and is essential imo. I am in the same boat OP! I have 12 year old twins who won't read and tgeir reading comprehension levels are below average. 😩 I'm not in the UK but when I was our local library had summer reading challenges - maybe that might appeal?

I read all the time, have bookcases full of a diverse selection of books. Dh is less of a reader but I'm trying to get him on board.

Pay them a dollar for each book they read. Ask for an analysis at the end. They’ll think they’re ripping you off but it’ll be the best investment you can make.

Sorry pound per book.

I can understand doing this for primary aged children, who need to improve their reading/writing, but for high school aged I think you have to start respecting the fact that they don't enjoy the same things you do.

Absolutely cut down on screen time - encourage other activities, but you can't dictate exactly what they should do with that extra time.

I love reading, but I can't imagine anything worse than being forced to read when I didn't want to.

Although - have you tried gaming magazines? If it's related to something they like, maybe they'd read it.

But as I said, you can't force them to like something. All you're doing is making damn sure they never pick up a book again as soon as they have a choice in the matter.