AIBU to bribe my kids to read

[Theblackdogagain]

I have twin boys age 13 who won't read, I've tried buying them books they want, taking away electronics but nothing works. I've now said if they read 3 books or graphic novels by 1st Sept they can have vbucks for fortnight. The books have to be a suitable length (so not comics) and quality (a bit more advanced then wimpy kid)
Aibu? Reading is so important and I'm running out of ideas.

Have the school told you their reading level is "below what it should be" ? What does that actually mean? Is the school meaning that they don't understand literature? There are 2 English GCSEs - language and literature. Language is the important one to worry about.
As I said they need to be able to read enough to function in society. If you went to a railway station and there was a sign that said (for example) "platform 1 is closed due to the roof falling in. Do not enter platform 1. All trains that normally leave from platform 1 will leave from platform 4" would they understand that ?
Being able to read - and understand - information like that is much more important than reading Harry Potter.
If their reading level means they wouldn't understand an instruction such as the one above that's the type of reading you need to focus on.

Because it isn't just a 'hobby' there's a known and significant link between reading and academic performance

I don't know what the answer is though OP sorry. My kid is only 4 and I'm already dreading this 🤣 because you can't literally force somebody to do something they don't want to. I think I'd restrict all leisure activities though especially screen time until they've done a certain amount of reading a day. Good luck x

Do you really think a 13 year old will think they’re ripping mum off for a payment of a pound per entire novel with analysis? It’s not 1942.

It might have been more pertinent to include the information about them struggling in school in your OP but if they really are struggling then asking them to read 3 books might be like asking them to climb a mountain when they haven't even attempted a hill. It sounds like they could use some additional help and if so just expecting them to read fairly lengthy books on their own isn't going to do it. How far behind are they?

What do they actually like? What subjects interest them, what kind of books do they enjoy?

You'll do better finding what their reading pleasure actually is than turning it into paid work. You say they need good reading skills for GCSE, are they behind at all in this?

Have a chat with them. What do they like the sound of, what genres? You mention graphic novels, would they like Japanese cyberpunk manga (Akira), a human Holocaust story (Maus), vintage adventure (Tintin books)?

There can sometimes be a bit of moralistic worthiness about reading that takes the pleasure out of it and puts people off.

This…one of my sons only ever read factual books and the other only looked at the sport pages in the newspaper!!
One teacher at primary school was so obsessed about reading that I genuinely think she put the children off !! She said they would have limited literacy skills etc!
Well both went to grammar school, decent University!
Reading will become a pleasure if not forced onto them !
My eldest is now a real book worm and has a ridiculous amount of books!

Sorry, my own reading comprehension is shit, you did say they are somewhat behind.

Still stands. Find the pleasure. Ask them why they don't read...what exactly puts them off?

Pahaha, 1942 and £1, you’re too funny.

Depends on the child to be honest. My 12 year old mass reads when he’s saving for something. Easy money.

YABU. You can't force or bribe people to enjoy reading if they don't want to. Maybe they don't get anything from it? And by forcing them, you're going to remove any potential enjoyment they could find independently anyway. I would make sure they have interesting materials to read, books, magazines etc. and leave them to it

I think given they're both below their reading age, it's about more than bribing them to enjoy something you do, so worth a try
However i wouldn't be a snob over what you deem to be acceptable literature. Comics aren't for illiterate dullard like some people seem to believe.

The Ninjino comics have plenty of expansive language, might be too young but just an example. Dev Pilkey is a god in our house but my son is younger. But if they'd read comics, let them. Surely what counts is they're reading and understanding a story and asks to take a meaning from it.

YABU

This is a formula for how to make your children hate reading. Make it a chore, force them to do it, force them to pretend they like it, bribe them to do it and do absolutely everything possible to encourage them to believe it's an awful, unenjoyable task.

Reading has lots of benefits but, as long as they can read, so do many other ways that they could spend their time. Just because you enjoy it as a hobby doesn't mean that they have to. I read a lot of non-fiction but I hate fiction - I find it exceptionally tedious and slow and dull. I can't picture the characters or the settings and I don't enjoy it at all. If someone tried to force me to read fiction (for no actual reason) then I'd think they were pious and nutty.

The only reason you want them to read is because you like reading...but they're not you. They're entirely separate people from you. If it's homework or required for school, treat it like every other piece of school work. But you can't just force and bribe your children into enjoying your hobbies. Confiscating their stuff because they don't enjoy the same activities as you is really horrible. How would you feel if someone took away all your books that you enjoy because they wanted you to do more exercise? Exercise has as many, if not more, benefits than reading.

Why can't you encourage beneficial things that they actually do enjoy? There are only 24 hours in the day and even if they spent every single one of them doing something beneficial, they'd never run out of stuff to do. You might find that if you stop presenting reading as a horrible, laborious, bribe-worthy chore that they pick it up themselves at some point.

If they are struggling to access texts with understanding for school then that's different to just choosing not to read. You need to talk with the school about how they are going to support your boys to make progress in this area. They should have interventions the boys can access and/or suggestions for things you can do at home to help. The boys need to see it as a joint effort between home and school so they understand it's important for their education.

Quite honestly I think there is occasionally a place for bribery. As i always say I have to be bribed to go to work. (My salary)

My 12 year old used to be massively anti PE. He would meltdown and refuse to do it. There were sanctions etc but finally we said that he had to suck it up and try his best, and in return he would get an uplift on his pocket money. Worked a treat. Totally turned him around, he has received compliments for his attitude and discovered he likes cricket!

Also, it's fine to read books that are targeted at a younger readership. It really doesn't matter as long as they're enjoying it and taking it in.

When I was about 14, I had a friend who was struggling to read, didn't enjoy it etc. A teacher suggested the Naughtiest Girl in the School books by Enid Blyton. She was hardly the target audience, but it did the trick. They were easy and enjoyable reading and she got into them and started looking for other books.

Reading has lots of benefits but, as long as they can read, so do many other ways that they could spend their time...The only reason you want them to read is because you like reading.. if the kids were academically behind in maths would yo u tell OP if they can count then its fine, she shouldn't make them do maths just because she likes it?

I don't think it's a good idea.

it just reinforces that reading isn't something for pleasure, it's a chore you're rewarded for. Rewarding them with gaming stuff seems arse about face as well.

i used to read a lot! Quite a variety of stuff, but I don't read much now. MN etc is more engaging as it's interactive and 'real'.

I think giving them a bedtime, then a period of time before 'lights out' (or blackout blinds closed!!) where they can read or switch off the light, is probably the best option.

also try some of the threads that have recommended book for boys that age. Sometimes they don't know what they want until they have it.

school reading lists have always been more of a 'should' than 'want to' for our avid reader.

By comics I mean the ones with plastic tat on the front and loads of posters but no words. I own maus and tried telling the kids it was a banned book but they can read it here. I understand not putting them off reading but I want to lift their reading ages from approx age 11 to age 12/13 so at least they are age appropriate. I'm asking them the read the maze runner and hunger games, not Anne of green gables :-)

Do they like Lego? There is a magazine called Lego Explorer that comes with a polybag build with each issue and the magazine is mostly non fiction related to what the build is (for example this month is a dinosaur).

It's a tricky one. If it were just that you wanted to get them to love reading, I'd say bribery was a bad idea, because extrinsic rewards do not generally increase enjoyment of the thing itself. In fact they can do the opposite, by making it so transactional.

But this is about their reading age and ability to achieve decent qualifications, so I can see why you feel the need to push it. I would talk to their teachers if possible and ask if they have any recommendations.

Well no, but I also wouldn’t suggest paying them to do sudoku books quickly. As I said before, rushing through a few graphic novels to get money for online gaming won’t actually help if they’re really struggling with reading comprehension - support from school and extra tutoring would be more helpful if they’re really behind.

Or would they read The Phoenix comic? Or a gaming magazine aimed at adults (so no 'plastic tat').

But OP isn't concerned with their academics here because she's said that she's happy for them to use audiobooks, which don't improve their reading age any more than listening to the radio, watching TV or a podcast.

If their reading ages are below what they should be, I'd get them on board to try to improve it.
I'd get them books that are suitable for their reading age to read themselves, and also start reading a book to them. I read Harry Potter to my ds when they were in secondary school. They had no interest in reading it themselves but loved me reading it to them.
We would also listen to podcasts or short stories in the car. There are quite a few free on YouTube and audiobooks on your library app if you're a member.
We regularly watched documentaries with subtitles too so they picked up higher level words.

Teacher here, with a specialism in this area.

Your idea will result in some reading but it is not making the book the enjoyable bit: it’s making it a chore to slog through in order to be given something enjoyable. That association with reading will mean that they’ll force themselves through the book and not want to pick up another.

To encourage a reading habit with a reluctant reader, it’s vital to prioritise enjoyment, even if that means starting almost at scratch regardless of age. With teenagers, I never attempt to get them reading substantial quality fiction as a starting point if they aren’t enjoying reading to begin with. I mean, I can read classics with ease but I wouldn’t take Bleak House to read casually on a beach as I’d never concentrate on it: I usually take some sort of thriller that many might view as rubbish! So, the entry point has to be short and sweet: rather than focusing on suitable length and quality with a child / teenager who doesn’t read at all, you’re better to focus solely on getting them to read anything providing it’s pleasurable.

So:

1. comic
2. tabloid newspaper
3. really easy book (call it a ‘quick read’ rather than an easy book
4. books with pictures
5. non-fiction e.g a football team annual / Ripley’s Believe it or Not / Guinness Book of Records
6. listen to audio books, especially ones with multiple voices and sound effects. They still provide plot, characterisation, vocabulary etc etc even if children aren’t reading it on a page. Also great for dyslexic pupils.

Start with very short chunks - ten minutes - and ideally read and discuss together, or get the boys to read together. Make it funny if possible. This is where Ripley’s etc is helpful. Look up or explain unfamiliar words.

I’d reward them for reading daily for an entire week in ten minute chunks, rather than for finishing the book. This still rewards manageable chunks of reading and a regular reading habit. It’s still over an hour per week. The goal would be twenty minutes per day as a minimum.

Hope that helps a bit! You’re doing the right thing in pushing the reading, but I’d just shift the focus from quality / length to establishing that reading is enjoyable and give in ten minute bursts. Once that becomes a habit, then the books can get harder / longer / more varied in terms of genre etc.

*done in, not give in