To ask if there have been any moments in your life

[Margot78]

where you made a decision that you would be curious to see how life would have played out if you’d made a different decision? I’ve read The Midnight Library recently and it’s really got me thinking about how fascinating it would be just to have a peek into all these alternative lives where different decisions were made that lead to different paths. I would like to see what would have happened if I had stayed with my ex instead of finishing with him (he went on to die in a car accident with his new girlfriend), what would I be doing if I didn’t take the job I’m in now (that I’ve been miserable in for seven years) and what would have happened if I had gone to uni. Am just interested to hear other people’s!

I met my lovely husband 32 years ago and married him within 6 months.. walking away from a crap boyfriend just knowing this young man was my future happiness l. If I hadn’t made the split decision soon on a night out to give him my number, and I nearly didn’t, I would not have had my lovely family and life.’ And I still love the bones 🦴o f him.
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Yep. It's always really depressing because it's things I regret doing.

I think about this all the time and then I listened to the Midnight Library on Audible a few weeks ago…I felt like it was the book I should have written!

What if I hadn't had my DD and dropped out of uni? I own my home outright, have a career, did a second degree and financially stable as I got good at budgeting and cutting my cloth appropriately ie live in a cottage flat opposed to a house with a mortgage that I could have.

Would I have any of those things now if I hadn't had her, I settled down and put roots down earlier than I intended. I suspect I would not be a home owner as I am now and would be living like most millenials renting without financial security.

Snap @Letsrunabath
32 years for us too.

I was at a point in my life where I could have stayed with a serial philanderer and rue my days but this amazing man popped up , in my life , who lived far away from where I lived.
Moved in with him within 6 months and married a few months later.

If I'd stayed , I'd have been in a humdrum job , fending off my alcoholic father and shagging a guy who really didn't care for me. ( Actually sent me an invite to his wedding!)

Yes.

I randomly ran into a guy I was completely head over heels with, when we were in school. It was during uni and he was up visiting a pal and I ran into him in a club. I had a boyfriend at the time. He came back to mine “for a drink and a catch up”. We started kissing, I stopped it because of said boyfriend, guy went on his merry way. It was a real wrench to say no at the time but it felt wrong.

Didnt work out with the boyfriend. But by that point school guy was with someone else. I’m married to someone else now, two beautiful children so I have no regrets. But I do wonder how things might have turned out if I had gone through with it that night, and left the boyfriend.

I was only thinking about this tonight. When I met my DH I had got the wrong night for meeting a blind date, then I mistakenly thought DH was the date. Quite scary really.

I always wonder how my life would have turned out if I hadn't crossed that road, but I wouldn't dare go back in time and stop myself.

There are several points in my life that have been quite major crossroads. I often think about what would have happened if I'd made different choices. I also wonder if I would have managed to make as much growth as a person in those versions of my life. I'd hope so, but who knows. Maybe these choices I've made are the best ones.

I have a sliding doors moment. I didn't get on the train with the other guy. I had the option of a whole new life.

I'm very glad in hindsight but I wondered for years

Only one, if I hadn't changed school at 12 I don't think I'd be doing the shitty job I'm doing now, but I also wouldn't have all the good things I have, so.....
But I'd like to see where that path would've taken me

I often think what would have happened if we stayed split up after we separated for a few months. If we'd stopped at 2 kids, if we didn't move from our old suburb and now I'm somewhere I don't like, etc.... So many things. Would be good to see our lives move through each decision and pick the one we like best to live... If only.

Before we were married my now dh and I went through a rocky time and I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I had just walked away and not looked back, where would I be now?

I also wonder if I should have listened to my dad and gone to the bank and asked about a mortgage, back in the 90’s. I think if I had I might be living in a house in a better area, rather than stuck in the flat that we have now and can’t move on from, since house prices have risen so much and we’re now stuck.

Pretty much, I had a good friend that pretty much made it obvious that she wanted more to happen with me, but when our chances arose, we got interrupted and just ended up staying friends, there was a bit of an age gap the lady being the older one and it would of been intriguing to see how that timeline went.

Every single day I wonder and fantasize about what life would be like if I'd made different decisions.

My DH and I crossed paths regularly for years before we eventually got together. I went through so much in those years, I think my life would have been much easier if we’d got together a few years earlier.

The summer before Year 10.

From an ex mining town, deprived, poverty, divorced parents.

I somehow landed a place at a private school 15 miles away, on a 70% scholarship/bursary, with my Grandparents funding the rest plus travel, uniform, extra curricular etc.

But that summer, they pulled the funding as my Mum moved a new bloke in, and his earnings wiped it out.

Rather than accept the generous, genuinely strong free offer from my Grandparents to continue covering the costs, my mother dragged me out and shoved me in the local shit hole.

Because her ex in laws covering the full cost was too much of an embarrassment, or whatever.

Going from calm, well equipped classrooms to chaotic, barely equipped ones where violence was the norm was fucking awful for my then undiagnosed Autism/ADHD. I was bullied relentlessly, physically attacked on a weekly basis, my nerves were shot to shit and the facilities just weren’t comparable.

I've never quite forgiven her for it; the relationship lasted all of 16 months, and she wrecked my education for it plus being unable to stomach not being able to cover the costs herself.

*string free

I met my future DH by chance due to a split second decision on my part. It turned out later on that we had failed to meet by a very narrow margin many, many times over nearly ten years in the same city. The moment of my decision was within the last few minutes we would be in the same continent, let alone country or city, probably ever. It's a very romantic thing and I don't ever regret it, but I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn't retraced my steps that day and bumped into him.

Years ago, I had a FT job & a PT occasional job that I did for fun & socialising

I was offered a FT job in the fun & socialising with training
This would have meant that I would have to have given up my original FT job

I've often wondered how my life would have turned out if I had taken the job

I am still friends with the people from the PT job, but I don't live locally anymore

It scares me that had I not logged on to my online dating that day on the laptop instead of my phone, because I wanted to delete my account as I was disheartened and it could only be done on a computer, my future husband face wouldn’t have popped up in the ‘people online now’ bar. I clicked on him, sent a message, and have since had the happiest eight years of my life.

I met my OH, and my best friend, within a few days of each other during a particularly fun-filled week at university. As I am NC with my parents and siblings, almost everyone significant in my life, obviously my children and in laws, but also my other best friends, my wider of circle and acquaintances, have branched from these two key relationships. I often wonder what my life would have been like if I had have been ill that week or something, and hadn't have crossed paths with them. I had no idea at the time but that one week of parties completely transformed my life!

My poor dad died very young due to medical negligence. My mother decided to move us across country, away from dad's family to be near her own. I sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out if he hadn't died and we hadn't moved away. I wouldn't have my husband or children, I'd have a different accent, different experiences and outlook. Strange to think about.

I have a different take.
I met a woman at work who was on the same pay grade as me. We started talking at lunch and she mentioned that her dad forbid her to go to university for cultural reasons. She said that if she had gone on to study English literature then she wouldn't be working in dead end admin jobs like these and could have made something of herself.
Guess who has an English literature degree and is working in a dead end admin job?
Me
My point is that we always imagine that the alternative path would have yielded better results. But that boy you kissed could have ended up a tool, or the high level career could have given you stress.
We only have one life and we make the decision based on the information available at the time. My friend always laments that she didn't end up with the guy who stalked her at school, as he is now a genuine multi millionaire who travels the world and never has to work again due to investments. She was obsessed with the bad boy who ended up cheating and left her with a three year old to raise alone. I always remind her that, at the time, the bad boy was all she could think about and no one can just turn off those feelings and act rationally. We'd be in a much better position, as a gender, if we could.

Yes, I had a job opportunity when I was young, might have got into my chosen career field if I'd taken it.

Also got married quite young, family friend told me to be independent and travel etc before settling down. We've been happily married 15 years but he's plagued with health issues and i wonder what life would have been like if I'd taken her advice.