To ask if there have been any moments in your life

[Margot78]

where you made a decision that you would be curious to see how life would have played out if you’d made a different decision? I’ve read The Midnight Library recently and it’s really got me thinking about how fascinating it would be just to have a peek into all these alternative lives where different decisions were made that lead to different paths. I would like to see what would have happened if I had stayed with my ex instead of finishing with him (he went on to die in a car accident with his new girlfriend), what would I be doing if I didn’t take the job I’m in now (that I’ve been miserable in for seven years) and what would have happened if I had gone to uni. Am just interested to hear other people’s!

What would have happened if I hadn’t married DH? I think my life would be miserable as I wouldn’t have my 3 kids (or brilliant husband 😄).

I was 22 and it was only 10 years ago so that was very young to get married. I could have had unsupportive parents or have been convinced to stay with him but wait years. But we knew we would get married eventually so what was the point in waiting? And if you can see yourselves breaking up then obviously a bad idea to get married. So didn’t see the point in ‘wait a few years, wait and see, have adventures’. We’ve had adventures alone and together, I don’t know why people think that’s not doable once married 😄

Also wonder what if I’d gone to uni! Again I would probably be with someone different. I don’t like that thought!

Have you read the Republic of Love by Carol Shields? It's a very similar story to yours!

I think it would depress me to know how alternative paths turned out, because there's certainly the chance that several of my big decisions in life would have led to me being happier.

So ignorance is bliss, in my case.

I met dh by chance as well - on a night out i nearly didn't go on. He'd studied at the uni I was at previously (we didn't overlap) and was back visiting friends for the weekend. I was supposed to go home that weekend but things changed and didn't, then was persuaded to go out by housemates when I wasn't going to. Dh and I have no other ways out paths would cross. He didn't have plans to visit my uni town again for the rest of my time at uni (the next meet ups for his uni friends happened in London as those who were still in the UK all settled there), we worked in different fields, grew up in very different parts of the UK, no cross over friends or locations.

There will be a version of me who went home that weekend. Or just stayed in and watched TV as planned. I'm so happy with dh and the dcs, I am very blessed. So glad I went to dance to cheesy tunes !

I haven't. I shall have to now!

The things that would have had the most impact on my life would have been decisions taken by my parents, not me. And a lot of the decisions they made, influenced decisions I made as I got older.

I haven’t had the easiest of lives but it all brought me to where I am now, which is a really good place. So, in hindsight, I can’t say I’d have made different choices.

I actually recently caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen/spoken to for nearly 30 years. Back then I was a young mum on benefits having fled a DV relationship. He was a single young man, with the world at his feet. We caught up and I have had a successful career, travelled, live in a nice home etc. He’d had 2 failed marriages, stayed at the same career level, and lived alone in a rented flat. Point being, looking back at us as young people you would have thought he had all the opportunities and that I’d “messed up” my life. But you just never know how things will turn out. Something that can seem like a bad decision can be a good one and vice versa. You can only choose what you think is right at that time.