To think that if a soft play is going to charge for adults, they should at least provide free WiFi?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Local cheap soft play has been taken over by some big regional chain. They've added a few elements but not enough to justify the fact that they now charge double (and double what others charge).

Of course, dc begged to go as its "got x and y now mum" so finally I've bit the bullet and taken her and her friend.

They charge £2 on top for me to be here and don't even provide any WiFi. The girls are old enough that they don't care if I'm here or not; so I'm paying for the privilege of disinterested parental responsibility, and have to use my own precious data instead

Clearly its a first world problem. But it's cheeky fuckery right?

I have 3 as well. Between 4 and 7. I’m not saying you can man mark each child at the same time, but I split my time between marking each and register what they’re doing. E.g DS1 is in the balls, no one else is in there so unlikely to be an issue, DD is about to come down the slide but she’s being slow and there’s a big queue behind her so better keep my eye there as there may be pushing, DS2 is playing with another boy and I can hear them both laughing but I’ll keep an ear out for if they need me…

Baffled other parents don’t do this tbh.

I have 3 as well. Between 4 and 7

I paid £39 for 2 adults and 2 kids recently to soft play. It was £3.50 per adult!

This is crazy to me. School age children do not need constant monitoring. This level of helicopter parenting is doing nothing for their development and independence.

My 4 year old just goes off on her own now and comes back to me every 15 minutes.

It's brilliant, I take a book and when I go to the big outdoor playground I take an entire thermos with coffee.

This is so ridiculous, particularly since - and I know this because you started another thread where you pronounced in how other families should arrange their parenting duties, so I feel ok doing the same back! - you home educate. Do they ever get a moment unwatched by mum?

Im flabbergasted the Op thinks 2 10 year olds are old enough to go swimming alone with zero adult supervision. I agree with other posters, stop focusing on WiFi and focus on what your kids are up to/ read a book (or use 4G!!!)

I noticed that too.

Lol what? My kids are home educated and more independent than most. They’re raised primarily outside and I have them using tools and machinery (supervised ofc), they tree climb, they den build, I don’t organise their schedules, they can identify safe edible foods, they can cook for themselves - the list goes on.

The reason I watch them in soft play is because I don’t trust other peoples kids…

Depends on their age. My youngest isn't quite 2 yet so obviously we go when it's quiet and go on with him but when my girls were around 7 or so I just let them play and come and find me if needed.
I think it's okay to charge for adults if you have young children say under 5 but should be free if they are older.

Plenty. DS1 and 2 were playing in DS1s room earlier, while I was cooking with DD. They stay at relatives houses. DS1 goes horseriding and does gymnastics. I go out by myself and leave them with DH sometimes, and vice versa. Sometimes they go to my in laws.

bizarre you think me actually knowing what my kids are doing in a soft play area means they never get any “unwatched” time.

I don’t understand the adult charging thing. We would have gone to ours more often if DH and I were free and spent more in the cafe. Instead one of us would go and sit bored.

No plant milk options

Get over yourself.

Risk-taking, solving conflicts, independent play are vital parts of growing up for children. Hovering around to immediately jump in when something happens does your children a disservice. Equip them with the skills to deal with conflict and seek you out if they need help. You can be aware of where your children are, keep an ear out for things happening, without having to see every action they do and jump in whenever something happens.

Soft play equipment is not for adults; it's for children. Maybe some people are going to some sort of soft play that isn't like our soft play, which is a large enclosed apparatus with many levels, tiny tunnels, rope ladders, slides, climbing walls. It is literally impossible to always see your child or know exactly where in the equipment they are unless you are climbing up inside immediately behind them, and when you do that, you block the space for children who want to play with other children and you stop them running about and interrupt their play because you are too big for the equipment so they can't get past you and have to wait while you negotiate whatever obstacle your child has just leapfrogged over. And you'll inevitably spend your time shouting to your child to slow down so you can catch up and don't lose them.

From the cafe, I can see the equipment and DD going inside it and coming out and if she's on the upper levels she appears sometimes to wave or I see her climbing past, but other times she's inside the apparatus negotiating the various obstacles or interacting with other kids, waiting to go down the slide, etc.

Please enjoy my top tip for soft play: ear plugs and a contigo cup full of your own delicious coffee and a great book

I’ve never had an issue getting around the apparatus, and I’m 5”7! I think it’s quite fun actually lol. And sorry but I think allowing kids to harass each other in a soft play is lazy. So many parents seem to just want to dump their kids while they have a natter to their friends or go on their phones. You still need to supervise your kids, ans deal with them if they’re misbehaving.

The reason I watch them in soft play is because I don’t trust other peoples kids…

And you don't think soft play is a great place for kids to use the skills you've taught them to manage difficult social interactions and work them out?

I think soft play and the okay area of a park of great places for kid on kid social interactions, including challenging and difficult ones - it's where they learn negotiation, that sometimes people react badly to something, life isn't fair, not everyone will wait patiently, that you'll get knocked over if you aren't using the equipment as it's supposed to be etc. I don't feel that requires me to be following them around soft play.

And those thinking reading a book is better? I find a book much more engrossing than my phone and I'd be paying less attention if I read a book.

It's their social development you're inhibiting. If some little punk is mean to my DD she can handle it, she doesn't need me watching her. She knows where I am if she needs me but it's good for them to deal with things themselves.

No actually, I don’t think my kids should be put in difficult situations because someone else’s kids have decided to behave like little shits. If they knock each other over by running about, fair enough, but kids bullying and harassing others isn’t on. It’s not up to my kids to have to parent someone else’s because their parents can’t be arsed. My kids are there to have a good time, not have to put up with Alex pushing everyone over because his mum can’t be arsed to put her phone down.

Sounds an awful lot like that “bullying builds character” bollocks.

it’s fine, I’ll tell my DC to punch anyone who bullies them and ignore any snivelling little bastards who come back to their mother crying about it - that better? Let’s reenact Lord of the Flies while we’re at it, eh?

Kids do not have to put up with bullying. Certainly not because of lazy parents.

No one is saying that kids have to put up with bullying 🙄. Surely that's why you as a parent are there in the café, so your kid can ask your help if a conflict escalates.

@Silverswirl Yeah true. I actually love sitting in a soft play listening to the soothing sounds of all the other kids playing, staring at the cafe hatch, plastic chairs, soothing strip lighting and enthusiastic staff members. Far better than looking at rubbish on my phone.

The leisure centre itself permits 8 and overs to swim unaccompanied. Given my dd walks to school and back alone, and the pool is on the same street as the school, the walk there and back is not a risk. The swim isn't a risk - there are lifeguards. Where is the issue?

My dc are 8 and 10 and growing out of soft play, but I don't mind taking them as it gets them active on a rainy day. They don't need watching closely but I keep a vague eye on them, and they look out for each other. I have a general idea where they are and they don't disappear without a sighting for hours on end. Obviously when they were younger, I'd have to follow them closely and it was less relaxing.

I'm not too bothered about wifi as I take a book or my diary - but decent coffee is a dealbreaker for me!

Sorry - can I just ask those who have raised the "monitor your children's behaviour" point:

Are you saying that all parents of 10 year old should follow their children around on the playframe monitoring the words they use and the actions they take, in case they are exhibiting a behaviour you think requires checking?