To wonder what's going wrong with our finances!?

[pondering12345]

In the process of moving to a joint account with DH, so using this opportunity to review our monthly finances:

Income
DH take home pay £2600
My take home pay (part time) £1075
Child benefit £145
Total income £3820

Expenses
DH car loan £270
My car loan £160
Mortgage £645
Water £60
Gas and electric £250
Home insurance £15
Broadband £25
Council tax £190
DH credit card £110 (we each use our own credit card for any purchases for ourselves and pay off the following month)
My credit card £100
My phone £35
DH phone £35
DH car tax £20
TV license £15
Zoo membership £20
Apple Music subscription £15
DH contact lenses £40
DH haircut £15
My haircut £20 (£60 every 3 months)
My nails £30
Window cleaner £15
DH petrol £100
My petrol £100
Food £450
Takeaways (one per week) £150
Kids hobbies & swimming £100
Date night £50
Disposable income £500
Total expenses £3535

This leaves less than £300 per month to put towards tonnes of other expenses - annual car insurance, gifts, Christmas, holidays, kids clothes, home and car maintenance etc.

Where are we going wrong here!? I don't feel like we live a particularly lavish lifestyle.

£645 pcm mortgage payment x 12 = £7740 annually

If you just cut your takeaways & over paid £150 pcm on your mortgage, you'd save money long term on interest payments. You'd also reduce the mortgage term and build up more equity in your property.

Takeaways £150 pcm x 12 = £1800

It depends on your mortgage T&C, how much you can overpay on it. As a minimum I'd overpay by £1800 per yr but would ideally overpay by £300 pcm. All that money you're wasting on rubbish with very little to show for.

How do you pay for Christmas - credit or savings? Switch the nights out spends to saving for Christmas now. Decide on a budget and stick to it.

Nothing is going ‘wrong’, sounds like you’re living a nice comfortable lifestyle with plenty of cash for meals out, takeaways, nails etc, a decent groceries budget and a bit left over at the end. You don’t have more left over because you spend it, which is your choice.

Most people’s spending expands to fit their available funds, and then even very high-earning people will often say ‘well if I’m so rich how come I have nothing left at the end of the month?!’ Because no matter how much you start with, if you spend money then you don’t have it any more.

If you have a particular financial worry about not having enough in savings, pensions etc then there are plenty of changes you can make in your spending patterns to address that. But if it’s just a general ‘we should have more left than this’ feeling then I’m afraid that’s just life and probably how most of the population feel!

I don't think any of your outgoings are 'outrageous' but some of them could be cut back or even eliminated as others have said.

So...do you really need to have your nails done each month? If you have the money it's a nice to have, but if you want more money in your pocket just do what we used to do and manicure at home. It was never a 'thing' to have your nails done when I was in my 20s (almost 40 years ago), it used to be a pleasure to do a home manicure and varnish, then maybe have a tidy up manicure at a beauty salon every six months or so to keep the shape.

Are you both running smaller cars? If not, because you need one 'family sized car' could one of you downgrade that to save on petrol (I know £100 is unfortunately the average now but if they're both gas guzzler cars is that a potential saving?)

Stop the takeaways or make them a once a fortnight or once a month treat - taking it down to a fortnightly one gives you £75 back automatically. You don't have to give them up completely, life has to be about a few pleasures even if it's just a walk on a beach! And if you can afford a takeaway but want to save, just cut back.

Can your 'date nights' be changed? I don't know what you do but could, for example, the kids go to grandparents for the night and you two just cosy up with Netflix? Or could you make it a 'date day' and drop the kids off then go for a walk in the country or beach. We sometimes just head to a town or village we've not visited and have a mooch around antique shops or markets!

As others have said you can get National Trust and English Heritage (or the equivalent) combined for the £20 you're spending on the zoo and that opens up loads of places and further afield.

A lot of places also do the 'upgrade your tickets to annual passes' for nothing nowadays so if you're having a day out somewhere always ask. For example, Blenheim Palace does a family of four ticket for £84 or thereabouts. But you can upgrade, for free, to an annual pass which means you can visit as often as you want. That's £6.95p for the four of you each month if you want to cost it out. Leeds Castle in Kent does the same for a family of four at £99 for the original ticket. It's a way of adding trips out throughout the year for 'nothing' if you're going to a place anyway and shelling out for that first trip. It's always worth asking if they do an upgrade to an annual pass.

Do you use Nectar or Tesco points? We did days out for a whole holiday in UK using Tesco points a couple of years ago! Didn't 'pay' for entry to anywhere. And managed to get a meal out of it too. Just by saving the points from our weekly shop. You can use Tesco points to buy English Heritage membership for the year for example. That basically means you're getting it for 'nothing' as you'd be buying the food anyway. And Blenheim Palace tickets can also be bought with Tesco points - then you can upgrade for free to the annual one before you leave the place!

And, finally, down grade meetings with friends. We now meet up in the local park with a takeaway coffee. Or we head to the beach or park, bring a bottle or two of wine between us, someone gets nibbles, someone will bring some cup cakes or something and we'll have a girls day picnic instead of a girls night out.
Socialising doesn't have to be in a restaurant or pub, nor does it have to be at night. Just going for a walk in the country with mates can be lovely - take a packed lunch each and just enjoy the friendships.

Whilst walking and running is free I really don’t think this OP is doing enough on the exercise front leading to mental issues which is why there is a question on disposable income when clearly there is room for a nice life

Well in our house, it's:

£25 curry (us)
£10 fried chicken (DS1)
£10 pizza (DS2)

Not every week but it's not cheap to get a takeaway for 4 (nearly) adults.

A few things stood out to me:

DH car loan £270
My car loan £160
Do you have savings? Would it be an option to sell these cars and buy second hand ones you'd own outright? This would cut down on these monthly payments, but I can understand if this is not an options.

DH credit card £110 (we each use our own credit card for any purchases for ourselves and pay off the following month)
My credit card £100
These seem very high. Are you also using a debit card? Would it be possible to pay them off the same month to avoid paying interest? Credit card costs are very sneaky and add up. The business model of most credit cards are to encourage people to pay it off as late as possible as that will acrue more interest and late fees. It might be a good idea to each use a debit card and only keep one credit card for online shopping and traveling and any other places where you can only pay with a credit card.

My phone £35
DH phone £35
These phone plans are also quite high. Do you have a sim-only plan or do you get the phone with the plan? It's usually way cheaper to just buy a decent phone and keep that for three or four years (£150 to £200 per phone should do it) and to only pay for the plan costs and sim card. This will cut down your monthly expenses.

Zoo membership £20
Apple Music subscription £15
My nails £30
These I consider luxuries you can easily get rid of to save yourself at least another £50 a month.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

Money make over tips

This is a little laughable, your wondering where your money is going but you lead a much better life than a lot of people, your having a take away each week, have 2 cars in loans, you have £500 which you spend on days out plus you have zoo passes, meals out, you get your nails and hair done once a month and you still have £300 left? If you want to cut back then cut down on the crap that most people can’t afford?

My biggest expense is electric and fuel, we occasionally have a take away (once a month, spend £12 on a hair cut every 2 months, never had my nails done and days out cost no more than fuel (we don’t pay to get in anywhere), I save £20 a week which goes towards a uk holiday and Christmas.

Food shopping for 3 of us (me and 2 older teens) is around £65-75 a week.

We do have national trust and RSPB memberships which we use a lot.

@bigbluebus I completely agree with your takeaway issue. There are only three of us at home now and instead of a takeaway I much prefer:

Smoked salmon prawns, bag of caesar salad, really good bread - £15/£16.

3 sirloin steaks, bearnaise sauce, bag salad, chips, mushrooms if I can be bothered £20.

Where we live even fish and chips is nearly £8 a portion - takeaway curry easily £40.

Really appreciate all the replies, it's given me lots to think about.

Slightly offended that people have assumed I do not exercise, I'm a regular runner! I buy all the things I need for it using my own credit card.

We don't pay any interest on the credit cards, we each have our budgets of £100 for personal spends and pay it off in full when we get the statement. It's more just a way to segregate the expenditure.

We do also have a fair amount of savings behind us, and have had a savings plan. It's just with switching to a joint bank account, I was taking the opportunity to review the savings plan and see what we can afford to put away each month, especially with cost of living rising.

I am working part time but have two very young children (3 and 1). I will likely increase my hours once youngest is preschool age but for now would rather reduce expenditure and enjoy them being little.

Other alternatives to takeaways that are much cheaper would be nice pizza from the supermarket, eh those oval ones or Crosta Mollica or family meal deals, M&S usually has a nice one for £15, so less than half the cost.

Takeaways have got really expensive. A couple of years ago it was £10-12 for Chinese that would feed 2 of us with leftovers for lunch so would also be enough for a family of 4 if primary age DC and now its over £20.

I'm really starting to cut back because I usually find it was a disappointment as well as being really expensive for one meal.

OP, it is all very sensible. With kids that little, you are doing extremely well, don't beat yourself up about it.

If your kids are only 3 and 1, I'm even more keen to know how you spend almost £40 a week on one takeaway?

Your 'problem' is that you have more than enough money coming in so you've got out of the habit of having to plan and limit your expenditure.

£600 pm on food (£450 + £150 on takeaways) is a lot. Meal plan better, cut back the takeaways to one a month, take sandwiches to work. Buy some surprisingly decent stone-baked pizzas from Aldi for £3.95 and throw in some salami to put on top rather than order a £10 pizza. Order just the curry and cook up your own rice or naan (bought 2 for 99p from the supermarket).

Use what you save to pay off the mortgage, create a car fund with the aim of buying a three-year-old secondhand car when you need a replacement for a current vehicle or invest it in a Vanguard stocks and shares ISA for the long term.

Where you’re going wrong

Massive debt bill
DH car loan £270
My car loan £160
DH credit card £110
My credit card £100

Unnecessary expenses
Zoo membership £20 (debatable)
Apple Music subscription £15
My nails £30
Takeaways (one per week) £150

Things that could be cut back
My phone £35
DH phone £35
Food £450 (Unless you have a tonne of kids this seems expensive)

Questionable spending
Disposable income £500…… spent on what?! No income should be disposable in this climate - cut out coffees and any faffy spending. This £6,000 should be covering all the things you describe.

For our DC we put aside about £300 a month in a separate account to cover clothing, activities (such as zoo etc for all of us), hobbies, holiday childcare, school stuff, birthday party/presents and Christmas presents, gifts for bday parties etc. And every other year it covers a holiday too.

Agree your car loans, take always, credit cards are a bit ridiculous. Then the disposable income- what is this if not for takeaways and credit card.. straight away save this £500 and address the frivolous spending on credit cards and takeaways. I think your ‘problem’ is easily solved! Seems fine to me but agree you could spend more wisely and definitely save a lot more x

There’s “reading between the lines” and there’s “just making shit up”. Not nearly enough information in the OP or subsequent posts to extrapolate “she doesn’t exercise and is therefore nuts and that’s why she’s asking for budget advice on Mumsnet”.

You aren't budgeting properly. You need to budget monthly for your annual expenses. Say your annual car insurance is £240, you should be budgeting £20 a month for it, not hoping it will come out of this extra £300 and it will be fine. I have done that and that's how you run out of money.
Same for Christmas- there are six months left until Christmas- if you want to spend £2,000, then you must budget £333 a month from now until then.
We use a paid app called YNAB which syncs across our phones and bank accounts. I read about it years ago on moneysavingexpert. Honestly, it's been the best thing I've ever done for our personal finances. I'm an accountant, I know my way around a spreadsheet but this is massively superior. It's worth every penny and worth the time it takes to learn how to use it, especially for couples with joint finances. We have gone from checking our bank balance to checking the budget. I'm not really worried what day we get paid any more. Most importantly we don't argue about money as we have shared priorities and goals. I'd really recommend you look at it.
In terms of what you're actually spending your money on - it does strike me that you have a lot of 'luxury' items like car loans, nails, window cleaner every month, date night every month, takeaway every week, hair every six weeks for both of you, but that's the whole point of the budgeting process. You two decide together what's luxury and what's necessary and the important thing is that it doesn't come at the cost of Christmas or annual car insurance or similar putting you into debt.
I would also look into bringing your personal spending into the budget whatever means you use to pay for it - credit card expenditure needs to be planned and understood too.

Cut out the zoo membership, nails, window cleaner and some of the takeaways.

You are living a lavish lifestyle with meals out, take aways, subscriptions and days out.

I thought your dc were much older, as your food bill is so high, and you have no childcare costs in your budget.

Why do you think you are 'going wrong'?
You earn money and spend it without worrying because you have enough to cover everything you want.

What actually is your worry or question?

Savings behind you but currently saving squat all?

How old are you op?

There are some things that can't be changed and personal to you, but you're already spending some of your disposable income on yourselves. A monthly haircut, your nails, window cleaner and takeaways - nothing wrong with this but recognising that others may seem to have more for saving/going away as they don't have those treats.

Again, it's personal choice, but your individual phones are more than ours put together. I may have missed your family circumstances, but £250 for fuel is fairly high, and £450 for food is extortionate (unless you have 3-5 children) especially when you're having regular takeaways.

So you say you have a fair amount of savings, disposable income of roughly £500 plus £300 after bills AND plenty of luxuries, no credit card debit...I'm so confused by this thread. It sounds as though you have a lovely life. You don't need to ditch having your nails done or do you own haircut as PP are suggesting, I find that an odd suggestion to be honest.