To wonder what's going wrong with our finances!?

[pondering12345]

In the process of moving to a joint account with DH, so using this opportunity to review our monthly finances:

Income
DH take home pay £2600
My take home pay (part time) £1075
Child benefit £145
Total income £3820

Expenses
DH car loan £270
My car loan £160
Mortgage £645
Water £60
Gas and electric £250
Home insurance £15
Broadband £25
Council tax £190
DH credit card £110 (we each use our own credit card for any purchases for ourselves and pay off the following month)
My credit card £100
My phone £35
DH phone £35
DH car tax £20
TV license £15
Zoo membership £20
Apple Music subscription £15
DH contact lenses £40
DH haircut £15
My haircut £20 (£60 every 3 months)
My nails £30
Window cleaner £15
DH petrol £100
My petrol £100
Food £450
Takeaways (one per week) £150
Kids hobbies & swimming £100
Date night £50
Disposable income £500
Total expenses £3535

This leaves less than £300 per month to put towards tonnes of other expenses - annual car insurance, gifts, Christmas, holidays, kids clothes, home and car maintenance etc.

Where are we going wrong here!? I don't feel like we live a particularly lavish lifestyle.

@Robinni you obviously didn’t look at the calculation properly. The £35 per week they are entitled to is child benefit

Having just put the OP’s information (couple over 25, 2 DC, no housing or childcare) in to that calculator, the £36.25pw you mention in your pp is the child benefit, it’s not UC. It says OP wouldn’t get any UC.

@Hallyup89 just checked and you are absolutely right if your DH is on about 50k a year you’d get nothing. Just slightly over the limit. Unfortunately they brought in the two child cap in 6th April 2017, which means you only get child benefit/UC for 3rd child and 4th if they are from a multiple birth with 2nd child or they are disabled.

www.turn2us.org.uk/Jargon-buster/Two-Child-Limit-Exception

Not disputing that they are entitled to it @Robinni

Just that they, or anyone with that level of disposable income, absolutely shouldn't be.

That £36 would make the world of difference to someone who actually needed it.

I’ll run it again perhaps you’re right or I might have made them too young actually!! Never thought of making sure over 25!

That makes much more sense.

Just rename 'disposable income' = savings and problem solved!

Since when is £41,000 a low salary? Average salary in UK is £25,000-31,000 depending on what way it’s calculated (median or mean). The DH isn’t a low earner, he is well above average.

Even claimants with disabled DC don’t get the child element for the 3rd+ child, they only get the additional disabled child element/severely disabled child element.

Although you can get more than 2 child elements if the child is born before the 2017 deadline even if it is a new claim.

Sorry everyone I have just checked @LargeLegoHaul you are absolutely right it is the child benefit that is £36.25.

Serves me right for trying to do this with DC crawling all over me.

incidentally I still think it’s quite important people check the calculator. Sorry OP for the muddle!!

Blimey!! £500 disposable income a month!! How the other half live!! 🤣🤣 You r v lucky OP

So given the above I’m baffled you have managed to accrue the savings you mentioned in the past 4 years since having… children (not known for their saving compatibility!)

I'm not sure where you've got this from but this definitely wasn't me. Maybe someone with a similar username?

I agree, its important to check. The threshold is higher than many think. If OP had a housing element &/or childcare costs she may well be eligible.

I think you're just in the 'spend what you earn' trap, where gradually as your salaries have risen you have spent more and lots of luxuries have become normalised so it seems like you never see the 'extra money'. It's easily done.

If it's any help, just as a comparison, I'm on a low income, I live with my 15 and 10 yo.

I spend £20 total for mine and my 15 yo's phone
I have no Zoo membership, Apple music or contact lenses (I do spend £7.99 on Prime)
I spend £35 on having my hair cut twice a year
I don't get my nails done and don't have a window cleaner
I spend £240 on food
I spend £25 once per month on a takeaway
I spend £60 on kids' hobbies
I don't have a regular date night
You spend £700 on sundries, I spend about £80
I put money away for clothes, special occasions, house maintenance and I'm also saving for a new bed as mine broke. I put away approx £100.

So you're not doing anything wrong, but you are in the very lucky position to not only have savings but to also have lots of things you could cut back on if you needed to.

Yeah wouldn’t be much though. Putting in 100k left on mortgage, £1800 rates, 2 DC in childcare 2 days a week £200 (£10,400 per yr). Would give £10.52 per week; £547.04 per year UC entitlement. I can see why she’s staying home to be fair.

If OP had a housing element though rather than a mortgage that would add to it, and UC will pay up to £1,108.04 for 2 DC.

Compare this to the thread about where people are having holidays this year. Multiple holidays in one year /loads of long haul travel in many of the responses. Yet the op is being frivolous, overspending and even lavish for having takeaways, haircuts and the odd date night. Mumsnet is so polarising sometimes

@pondering12345 could defo manage the money situation better and be more money savvy which is the point of the thread but some of the passive aggressive digs from people that seem to never part with money to live a bit and save for a pension that they may never see. For the record I save, have a pension and over pay my mortgage, no debt but I eat out and even pay for a hair cut. Life is too short not to live a little. You can do both

@pondering12345 you seem to have taken on board some of the suggestions which is great and I’m sure you will realise you can go further with your cash. Life is for living too. My mum died a year after drawing her pension. Save and be cautious/more financially aware by all means but life is also for living too. Don’t feel guilty for having fun like a zoo subscription.

I mean almost 500 pound a year on contact lenses alone is just silly, what a waste of money.

Everything you're spending other than the house and food is disposable income. You could cut back on all of it if you really wanted to.

You are presenting this as an "aha!" completely ignoring that this is a situation probably half of women planning a family find themselves in at some point.

I checked posting history of some from the "nails and takeaways are an INCREDIBLE LUXURY" team just out of interest and, funnily enough, they do go on foreign holidays, drink wine, order takeaways and even have botox treatments.

True, I’m wondering if they will increase the UC entitlement for all those with mortgages seeing as they’re - on the face of it - going to allow it to be included for mortgage applications…