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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask neighbour to stop parking on shared access driveway?

96 replies

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 09:28

So there is a shared access driveway in between our house and our next door neighbour’s, it leads to some garages at the back of our houses which neither of us to park cars in and we just use them as storage units. Since we moved in our neighbours frequently park their visitors cars on the shared driveway and basically use it as an extra parking space, this has never been much of an issue to us as like I said we don’t use the garage in our garden.

As such we very infrequently sometimes also use the shared driveway for the same reason (we might use it a few times a month where as they use it multiple times a week), however, the last two times we did this our neighbours have complained to us and asked us to move our car as they want to use it.

First time their brother came round and was quite rude and complained he wanted to park his car further down the drive near the garage to do work on it. We apologised repeatedly and offered to move it and he just went on and on about it. The next time my wife parked my car on it briefly to get her car off the drive and the neighbour came out and asked how long it was going to be on there and could we move it asap.

I was happy for us both to use it as overflow parking since we both don’t use it to access our garages, but they seem to be under the impression they have the right to use it whenever they want and we don’t, so I would like to stick to the rules and neither of us park on it at all, as I’m feeling the situation has become unbalanced. Would I be unreasonable to ask this?

OP posts:
woodhill · 10/06/2022 17:43

They shouldn't be parking cars anywhere on shared drive.

Access only

Could you Knock your wall down to do the same as them

lonelyapple · 10/06/2022 17:57

I bet they'd ask you for half the cost if the drive ever needs redoing.

FirstFallopians · 10/06/2022 18:09

Nuclear option could be installing a drop down bollard on your part of the shared drive, but you could say goodbye to good relations.

Might be time to bite the bullet and send a solicitors letter. I’d be very wary of letting the situation continue and neighbours believing they’re establishing some kind of right to sole use.

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 18:15

I’ve figured out the reason NDN asked my wife to move my car ASAP, it’s because they want drive across the shared access to get their car off the drive without moving their other car. I really feel like they’re trying to establish this as for their sole use, because their actions lately are showing that they don’t think we have any right to park anywhere on it, but they do. I think I need to have a word with them and say either of us parking on it isn’t working out, so I want us to stick to the deeds and not park on it at all. Just don’t know what to do if they don’t agree or stick to the agreement.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 10/06/2022 18:37

Apologising to someone who doesn't live there but is parking on your property?

Really?

Tell them calmly and firmly that you
want the area kept clear.
Follow it up with a solicitors letter confirming the access agreement as per the deeds if they ignore you.

Photograph any breeches.

My friend sorted out a couple of CF who were parking on her two allocated spots (which she had paid extra for in her apartment building) repeatedly, and had the nerve to get shirty with her when she said she had visitors coming for the weekend.

She realised how ridiculous she had been letting it go on for so long.

She contacted a local company who clamped the cars.
They contacted the police, who told them it was a civil matter.

They paid to have them released and didn't trouble her again.

Don't let this go any longer.

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 18:40

billy1966 · 10/06/2022 18:37

Apologising to someone who doesn't live there but is parking on your property?

Really?

Tell them calmly and firmly that you
want the area kept clear.
Follow it up with a solicitors letter confirming the access agreement as per the deeds if they ignore you.

Photograph any breeches.

My friend sorted out a couple of CF who were parking on her two allocated spots (which she had paid extra for in her apartment building) repeatedly, and had the nerve to get shirty with her when she said she had visitors coming for the weekend.

She realised how ridiculous she had been letting it go on for so long.

She contacted a local company who clamped the cars.
They contacted the police, who told them it was a civil matter.

They paid to have them released and didn't trouble her again.

Don't let this go any longer.

I know, I feel like a fool, he doesn’t live there or own the shared access and has no right to park on it. I won’t be apologising again!

OP posts:
woodhill · 10/06/2022 18:56

You are not a fool

Disgusting behaviour on his part, cf

girlmom21 · 10/06/2022 19:59

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 18:15

I’ve figured out the reason NDN asked my wife to move my car ASAP, it’s because they want drive across the shared access to get their car off the drive without moving their other car. I really feel like they’re trying to establish this as for their sole use, because their actions lately are showing that they don’t think we have any right to park anywhere on it, but they do. I think I need to have a word with them and say either of us parking on it isn’t working out, so I want us to stick to the deeds and not park on it at all. Just don’t know what to do if they don’t agree or stick to the agreement.

Yeah so they wanted to use it for it's intended purpose and couldn't because you were misusing it.

It's a shared access not an actual driveway.

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 20:22

girlmom21 · 10/06/2022 19:59

Yeah so they wanted to use it for it's intended purpose and couldn't because you were misusing it.

It's a shared access not an actual driveway.

Have you read any of this thread?? They’re parking on it constantly and complaining if we park on it occasionally because it stops them doing so.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 10/06/2022 20:24

CF's are good at outrage when challenged.

She was furious with herself too.

They really shot themselves in the foot as she wasn't bothered as it was city centre and she doesn't own a car, but she was advised to buy the two spots as it was really added value to her apartment.

The happy ending is she was approached by another neighbour who was in a corporate let and she has a surprisingly nice casual rental agreement for her 2 spots now.

Surprisingly lucrative for something that she very rarely used.

The thing is to remain calm and firm and lay out your expectations that you do not want to see his brother near the access spot again.

CF's need to be dealt with calmly but firmly.

girlmom21 · 10/06/2022 20:38

@Elsiebear90 yeah I've read the thread. Them parking on it doesn't make it ok for you to park on it.

If you don't want them to park on it discuss that with them, but don't complain when they ask you not to, and don't leave your car there blocking their access if you're not in.

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 20:59

girlmom21 · 10/06/2022 20:38

@Elsiebear90 yeah I've read the thread. Them parking on it doesn't make it ok for you to park on it.

If you don't want them to park on it discuss that with them, but don't complain when they ask you not to, and don't leave your car there blocking their access if you're not in.

If you had read the thread you would know I’m not blocking access to anything.

OP posts:
Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 21:12

Also, as I have said, I have no issue with them parking there, I have issue with them treating it like an extension of their driveway that no one else can park on except them.

OP posts:
HayfeverSniff · 10/06/2022 22:42

You're both in the wrong. You can't park there- it is access only. They can't let visitors park there- it's access only.

Knock the door and apologise for the times you've blocked the access for them, you didn't mean to inconvenience them but you assumed the space was available because they frequently let brother park in it (therefore blocking your access) however you've realised this arrangement isn't working and both should resort back to the legal deeds to keep it completely free of cars unless being used for access/turning etc. Suggest if either party needs to use the garages that they will notify the other ahead of time so as to be considerate and respectful. Ask them how often they feel they'd need access to their garage or to move a vehicle down there so they can be open and upfront about brother fixing car. Perhaps you can come to an agreement whereby when the vehicle is being worked on it can be parked down there but once it's done, brother needs to move it to the street. Review later down the line if you feel they aren't keeping to this agreement.

Going in all guns blazing is not going to help the situation at all and in their minds you are the unreasonable ones. Use lots of phrases like "I understand what you are saying... I hear you are feeling.." they're a bit wishy washy but they do work to diffuse situations. Whatever happens don't let it become an argument and if it's feeling a bit heated, suggest they take a day or two to come up with an alternative idea to discuss.

Best of luck- neighbours can be the worst 🤣

ColdCottage · 16/07/2022 14:23

Is there an update?

ohholyday · 01/08/2022 12:35

@Elsiebear90 , just wondering if you have had any joy in sorting this out?

I'm in a very similar position and wondering what the best way forward is.

J1980 · 10/09/2022 16:41

@Elsiebear90 I am also in a similar situation. Our old neighbour converted his house into two flats and sold them to two separate owners. The downstairs have their own drive but upstairs insist on using the shared drive space as theirs! We have the house deeds that show clearly no one owns the drive but somehow they were apparently told at the time of sale that the shared drive is their parking spot.
Im in the process of having a solicitor letter sent to them but I’m not sure they will comply so might have to take it higher which would make it difficult to sell out property which I am seriously considering now.
This issue is causing us so much anxiety. To top
it all off the upstairs landlord is now renting the flat out so we have constantly changing neighbours some of them are curteous and park more on their side. The others don’t care at all and continue to do whatever they want.
i would
also be interested to know if you’ve found any solution to this problem.

Pasithean · 06/12/2022 09:09

We have a neighbour war on a similar thing. It’s going to court and has cost thousands.

Elsiebear90 · 06/12/2022 16:49

Sorry for the lack of update, so the neighbour’s brother who was the main culprit hasn’t really been round much at all since he shouted at us, not sure why, unless he is going round, but is parking elsewhere now. It’s hard to say because I work long hours as does my wife and I don’t pay attention to who is coming and going, I only knew he was there because he kept parking on the shared drive.

However, he used to come down almost every weekend and a day or two in the week and park on the drive all day, but I’ve only seen him and his car a couple of times since I posted this thread.

Both times as soon as I arrived home (and he was parked on the shared drive) he immediately left, my wife said the same thing happened when she came home on a different occasion too.

We stopped parking on the shared drive completely and they seem to rarely use it now as well. I’ve never been fussed about the odd occasion, it was him treating it as his own personal driveway, to the point he felt he could shout at us because one time we parked there and prevented him from doing so, that was the issue. My wife thought maybe they saw this thread and told him to stop using it all the time, because we planned to speak to them about it face to face, but as I said, he abruptly stopped using it while we were home.

OP posts:
ILoveeCakes · 06/12/2022 17:05

I would wager that none of the architects or the directors of the building companies who design/install shared driveways would ever have one.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 13/04/2023 18:08

The Bil doesn’t live there so he has no right to be telling you to move your car.
Don’t offer to sell them the rights to it, it’ll devalue your house and cause problems if you ever decide to sell your house.
The moot point is it’s for access only so no/one should be parking there. He shouldn’t be using the access to facilitate repairing his car either.

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