Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask neighbour to stop parking on shared access driveway?

96 replies

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 09:28

So there is a shared access driveway in between our house and our next door neighbour’s, it leads to some garages at the back of our houses which neither of us to park cars in and we just use them as storage units. Since we moved in our neighbours frequently park their visitors cars on the shared driveway and basically use it as an extra parking space, this has never been much of an issue to us as like I said we don’t use the garage in our garden.

As such we very infrequently sometimes also use the shared driveway for the same reason (we might use it a few times a month where as they use it multiple times a week), however, the last two times we did this our neighbours have complained to us and asked us to move our car as they want to use it.

First time their brother came round and was quite rude and complained he wanted to park his car further down the drive near the garage to do work on it. We apologised repeatedly and offered to move it and he just went on and on about it. The next time my wife parked my car on it briefly to get her car off the drive and the neighbour came out and asked how long it was going to be on there and could we move it asap.

I was happy for us both to use it as overflow parking since we both don’t use it to access our garages, but they seem to be under the impression they have the right to use it whenever they want and we don’t, so I would like to stick to the rules and neither of us park on it at all, as I’m feeling the situation has become unbalanced. Would I be unreasonable to ask this?

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 10/06/2022 11:37

They’re not intimidating, but her brother was yesterday, I think because we are two women they feel they can take more liberties and send over a man to intimidate us.

That disgraceful

deirdreshere · 10/06/2022 11:40

When they're asking you to move, have you ever raised the point that you have the right to be there as much as they do?

It does seem a bit odd that they've asked you to move a few times now and you've never raised this point. Or asked them why they're asking you to move as you can park there as much as they can?

DWofMN · 10/06/2022 11:47

OP - this is intentional. They are trying to steal your property. If they keep parking there, they prevent you parking there and you don't kick up a fuss then, over time, it comes their right to park there and you lose your right to tell them to move. Being passive allows them to take away your rights over that land.

I'm not a property lawyer and it's a long time since I studied land law (and, quite frankly, land law is utter wank and a loathe it) but you need to be very careful here and assert your rights. Uphold the deeds - no parking on that land, no blocking access, hold firm.

If you do not uphold your rights then you can lose them.

woodhill · 10/06/2022 11:58

You need to speak to them. It's not on

Yanbu

JenniferPlantain · 10/06/2022 12:13

Why did you apologise to the brother?

LakieLady · 10/06/2022 12:16

I would never, ever, buy a house with a shared drive or access. It causes so many problems.

Friends live in a house with a shared drive that leads to each householder's private parking space. When new neighbours moved in, they took to parking their car on the shared bit.

The shared bit is narrow, and the houses have their front doors on the side of the house, so they open onto the shared drive. On a couple of occasions, they parked so close to friends' front door that they had trouble getting in and out of their house! They kept asking them not to do it, and just got muttered apologies.

The final straw came when one of their parents became gravely ill in the early hours of the morning, and they needed to get to the hospital to say their goodbyes. The neighbours had blocked the shared drive and they couldn't get their car out. They couldn't rouse the neighbours, despite knocking repeatedly during the night, and eventually managed to get them to move it at about 7am.

They got a solicitor to send them a letter before action setting out their (lack of) rights, and they stopped doing it. They reckon it was ÂŁ100 well spent.

Spreadsheetssuck · 10/06/2022 12:17

I would be tempted to go round with the deeds and be profusely apologetic. Point to the deeds and say to them that they were quite right, you/your guests shouldn’t have been blocking access and from no one, you entirely agree with them that NOBODY should park across the shared access.

MintyMoocow · 10/06/2022 12:20

Meh, who cares!

woodhill · 10/06/2022 12:27

LakieLady · 10/06/2022 12:16

I would never, ever, buy a house with a shared drive or access. It causes so many problems.

Friends live in a house with a shared drive that leads to each householder's private parking space. When new neighbours moved in, they took to parking their car on the shared bit.

The shared bit is narrow, and the houses have their front doors on the side of the house, so they open onto the shared drive. On a couple of occasions, they parked so close to friends' front door that they had trouble getting in and out of their house! They kept asking them not to do it, and just got muttered apologies.

The final straw came when one of their parents became gravely ill in the early hours of the morning, and they needed to get to the hospital to say their goodbyes. The neighbours had blocked the shared drive and they couldn't get their car out. They couldn't rouse the neighbours, despite knocking repeatedly during the night, and eventually managed to get them to move it at about 7am.

They got a solicitor to send them a letter before action setting out their (lack of) rights, and they stopped doing it. They reckon it was ÂŁ100 well spent.

Yes i am so thankful for not having this situation but it is such a common feature in suburbia with many houses designed like this

Marlaah · 10/06/2022 12:31

Agree with others about showing them the deeds. It is shared and needs both parties to be reasonable to work. Sending the brother round to intimidate and be rude to you is not on. I’d write them a letter with a copy of the deeds. Explain you don’t want any disputes over what should be a give and take situation. Maybe you can do alternate parking days? They get to park on Monday; you get it Tuesday etc? Keep a copy so if the situation escalates then you can show you’ve been reasonable and conciliatory.

Thebestwaytoscareatory · 10/06/2022 12:48

Migraineroundthebend · 10/06/2022 09:34

It totally depends on the house deeds. You may actually find they do infant own it and you just have access. I find people rarely pick an argument like this unless they're sure of their legal right.

Are you new to planet Earth? The vast majority of disputes like this because people don't know their legal right and even when that is established a fair chunk will still refuse to accept it.

SunnyShiner · 10/06/2022 12:53

Every time they park on it go and ask them to move as you want to get something out of your garage.

I hope they aren't deliberately intimidating you as a female couple as that's vile.

viques · 10/06/2022 12:59

Still waiting for a diagram, especially about the wall because I can’t visualise it.

NoSquirrels · 10/06/2022 13:03

like this morning as soon as my wife moved my car onto it to swap the cars around the neighbour came out and asked her to move it asap

Best thing to do is to deal with these things in the moment.

“Can you move your car?”
”Oh, why - do you need access to the garages?”

Then wait and see what they say.
Then have the discussion about shared access, shared rights and not appreciating the tone of the brother yesterday etc.

EmilyBolton · 10/06/2022 13:08

poetryandwine · 10/06/2022 10:52

I think you should nicely remind the neighbours that the deeds say no one is to park on the drive and then say you would like a mutually beneficial solution. Then, and this is key, ask for their ideas. People are often happy to propose the thing you want, whereas they may feel they are losing face by agreeing to something you propose.

This. Ask for a conversation about it. Find mutual grounds first such that you both want to get along and have flexibility . Then discuss how to acheive that. Talk. Talk. Talk

Drivebye · 10/06/2022 13:20

Are you 100% sure that it is jointly owned? We have a shared driveway, it is owned by us and neighbours have access to their driveway. Even though we own it we never park on it even though it wouldn't block their access. However they thought that it was ok for them to park on it, presumably because we could still access our driveway. The first time they did it we asked them to move, the second time they did it we explained the situation - we own it, you have access over it. Husband got shitty, we couldn't care less, they cannot park on it. If they do it again I will ask them to move again, eventually I will just block them in.

I think you need to draw a line under the fact that you both use it to park and start again. You now need to 'enforce' the rule that no-one parks on it by the route of least confrontation. So perhaps the easiest, non confrontational way to do this is to start using your garage, all the time. This way you don't have to have 'a nice chat with them' about them parking on the access and risk bad feeling etc (which is what will almost certainly happen). So I would find a reason why you need to use the access all the time at any time and let them know. If they say anything you just need to shrug and say 'what's the problem, it's a SHARED access'.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 10/06/2022 13:24

Why on earth did you "apologise repeatedly" for parking somewhere you're allowed to park? You should have nipped it in the bud then by telling them as the place is shared, you have as much right to use it as anyone else.

Personally I wouldn't be approaching them or anything, just be telling them the above each time they kick off. It's not their drive, they have no right to even ask you to move (unless they need access).

AryaStarkWolf · 10/06/2022 13:26

MintyMoocow · 10/06/2022 12:20

Meh, who cares!

Powerful insight :')

Cheshiresun · 10/06/2022 13:35

They sound very selfish, there are plenty of neighbours who are selfish, parking where they shouldn't and using places other than their garage/drive as long term/permanent parking! I don't know why people don't buy homes with parking space available for their needs, that really needs to be a priority but people are happy to overlook that and look at other things a home has.

thereisonlyoneofme · 10/06/2022 13:45

And this is why I would never consider buying a place with any sort of shared access, been there, done that!

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 14:00

Yes I shouldn’t have apologised, I asked him if he wanted to get the car out the garage and he said no he wanted to take his car round the back and work on it, I said well we can move it now, he said well that’s pointless I wanted to do it hours ago but I knocked on the door three times and no one answered, I apologised and said yeah we popped out but we’ve been back for hours now. Then he just kept going on about how he couldn’t do his car and would we be parking there next week and we said no we barely use it it was just because we had guests over and no street parking (it was actually our legal wedding yesterday before our ceremony in Italy so was a one off). I guess I apologised because he was so aggressive and I wanted to diffuse the situation, and also because I knew really we shouldn’t have parked there (well no one should but it doesn’t stop them). When I thought about it afterwards I got angry because he doesn’t even live there and has no more right to block the drive to fix his car than we do to let guests park there.

OP posts:
Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 14:03

It’s definitely not owned by them, we bought the house two years ago and it was brought up then and I remember being told by the solicitor and seeing the deeds where it says it is jointly owned and maintenance is a joint responsibility.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 10/06/2022 14:14

I’d leave it until they ask again. Then discuss it with them calmly - who can do what where. If it’s the brother who knocks again, I’d make sure he knows you’re not happy.

vivainsomnia · 10/06/2022 14:54

I wonder if what caused the conflict is the fact that you were not home when blocking the drive, which is a valid frustration.

If they park in front of their garage, they are only blocking your car going to yours but you say you don't use it. If a car is however blocking another one and there is no one to move it for hours, that is a problem.

Can't you just get together and agree ground rules?

KosherDill · 10/06/2022 15:00

Elsiebear90 · 10/06/2022 11:27

I don’t want to end up in a dispute, I just don’t want a situation whereby they can use the drive whenever they want and we can’t use it at all as the deeds say it is shared, like this morning as soon as my wife moved my car onto it to swap the cars around the neighbour came out and asked her to move it asap, it’s been three hours and they’ve not even used the drive at all.

So it seems to me they’re now being deliberately awkward to try to establish their right to use it over ours. They’re not intimidating, but her brother was yesterday, I think because we are two women they feel they can take more liberties and send over a man to intimidate us.

They have also built their wall to their front drive so that it only goes half way down to the shared drive so they use the shared driveway to drive onto their drive so they don’t have to swap their cars around which is fair enough but then they will demand we move our car straight away if it’s ever parked there so they don’t have to move their car, which feels a bit unfair. I just feel like for some reason they view the shared drive as sorry theirs and that’s what’s annoying me.

You need to have a lawyer review the situation and design a course of action: meeting, letters, signage, etc. to straighten this out. Otherwise it will continually erode your peace of mind.