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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or was she? Charity shop purchase.

278 replies

JiggleJiggleFold · 09/06/2022 09:50

I went in a charity shop yesterday and saw a set of figurines, 6 of them for £20.

I asked if I could buy 2 of them separately and the lady said no, they're a set. Fair enough. I had a few other bits to get from other shops, so left without them.

Whilst shopping I googled the figures hoping to get them from ebay or somewhere, as I only liked 2 of them. Turns out they end up at around 10/12 quid individually with postage anyways so 20 for 6 was very good.

I went back in and asked for the set. I paid the £20 and said to the lady "I only really want these 2, you can keep the other 4"

She told me they come as a set and you cannot but them individually.
I said I'm not asking to buy them individually, I'm paying the full price but only taking 2.

She told me I wasn't allowed to do that.

I said I'm keeping 2 and donating back the other 4 and that she could sell them as a set of 4.

She was adamant I want allowed to do that and made me take all 6 of them :s

I walked into the charity shop 2 doors down and donated the 4 I didn't want.

AIBU to think the whole things was just ridiculous?

She was really huffy and abrupt with me about it, like I was trying to rip them off or break the sacred rules or something!

OP posts:
riesenrad · 09/06/2022 12:14

thedancingbear · 09/06/2022 12:04

She's a fucking volunteer.

Yes, she wasn't being very logical. Give her a break.

The OP said she was the manager, so probably not a volunteer (I assume the managers are paid).

Jobseeker19 · 09/06/2022 12:15

Why would people assume they are volunteers?
I see many ads for job posts for floor staff.
Charity is a big business you only need to see how much the CEOs get paid to realise this.

TroysMammy · 09/06/2022 12:15

I broke a M&S Harvest side plate and I was annoyed with myself. Years later a charity shop had Harvest crockery for sale and I asked to buy the side plate. Was told no I would have to buy all what they had for £3. I couldn't even pay £3 for the plate and it wasn't a full set anyway. So now I have my original Harvest crockery and about 25 other pieces. There's only the 2 of us.

10HailMarys · 09/06/2022 12:16

Totally different. You wouldn't expect the supermarket to put them back on the shelves and resell a pack with one missing.

RTFT!!!

The OP wasn't buying a 'pack' of anything. There were six items on sale, from a series of 25. They weren't a 'pack' or a 'set' any more than, say, six separate My Little Ponies or six separate Star Wars action figures would be.

If you went into a charity shop and there were, say, six Agatha Christie books on the shelf (out of the dozens published) they wouldn't be a 'set' or a 'pack', and it would be perfectly reasonable to buy them individually or, if for some reason the shop insisted that you couldn't, to re-donate the ones you didn't want to be sold again. What the OP wanted to do was equivalent to that. Totally normal and fine and bugger-all like splitting a fucking multipack of cans in fucking supermarket.

speakout · 09/06/2022 12:17

That has happened to me too OP.
A charity shop was selling 3 books for £1. I only wanted one book and was happy to pay £1 but the assistant insisted I have to buy 3.
So I picked up two more random books, paid a pound, pushed the two surplus books back to her and said " I have a donation".

adlitem · 09/06/2022 12:17

riesenrad · 09/06/2022 12:14

The OP said she was the manager, so probably not a volunteer (I assume the managers are paid).

Show quote history

I know someone who manages charity shops. She's one person and covers a HUGE area. She has an insane workload managing stock, volunteers, etc and not great pay. There is definitely an element of vocation to it. She's also an elderly lady herself.
She has submanagers who are volunteers as she can't physically be in all the shops herself. I can't imagine the job attracts the cream of the crop of retail management talent generally.
Charities presumably operate differently, but I am not sure you can deduce manager = well paid, well qualified employee.

adlitem · 09/06/2022 12:19

Jobseeker19 · 09/06/2022 12:15

Why would people assume they are volunteers?
I see many ads for job posts for floor staff.
Charity is a big business you only need to see how much the CEOs get paid to realise this.

a manager is a highstreet charity shop is not recieving CEo salary 😂

CandleSchtick · 09/06/2022 12:19

Pathetic charity shop lady with no sense

That's unkind. I volunteer in a charity shop and some of the younger volunteers are placed because of their vulnerability and mild learning disability. They get a lot out of it. I think customers ought to keep this in mind when charity shopping.
Having said that, most customers can recognise if this is the case and behave accordingly.

stopringingme · 09/06/2022 12:21

I have done this I bought a dinner set but did not want the cups and saucers and they willingly accepted them back as a donation and as my DH had his gift aid card on him they earned gift aid on the donated crockery as well.

I do not think you were wrong to ask and I think she was a bit silly not to accept the four back as a donation as the charity shops around here are crying out for donations, but if she saw them being donated by the original donor all together she probably assumed they were a complete set and had not looked up what they were and how many were available to collect.

CandleSchtick · 09/06/2022 12:21

A lot of volunteers are vulnerable adults on placement through support groups and organisations actually

I think this is worth repeating.

thedancingbear · 09/06/2022 12:24

CandleSchtick · 09/06/2022 12:19

Pathetic charity shop lady with no sense

That's unkind. I volunteer in a charity shop and some of the younger volunteers are placed because of their vulnerability and mild learning disability. They get a lot out of it. I think customers ought to keep this in mind when charity shopping.
Having said that, most customers can recognise if this is the case and behave accordingly.

Quite, and it's depressing how many people in this thread are willing to be unpleasant about or to them. What a bunch of nasty shits.

Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 12:27

10HailMarys · 09/06/2022 12:16

Totally different. You wouldn't expect the supermarket to put them back on the shelves and resell a pack with one missing.

RTFT!!!

The OP wasn't buying a 'pack' of anything. There were six items on sale, from a series of 25. They weren't a 'pack' or a 'set' any more than, say, six separate My Little Ponies or six separate Star Wars action figures would be.

If you went into a charity shop and there were, say, six Agatha Christie books on the shelf (out of the dozens published) they wouldn't be a 'set' or a 'pack', and it would be perfectly reasonable to buy them individually or, if for some reason the shop insisted that you couldn't, to re-donate the ones you didn't want to be sold again. What the OP wanted to do was equivalent to that. Totally normal and fine and bugger-all like splitting a fucking multipack of cans in fucking supermarket.

Calm down (and stop fucking swearing at me Grin)
They were priced as a set 🤷🏻‍♀️

skybluee · 09/06/2022 12:31

Would you do this in Tesco? Why not? The same principle works there.

skybluee · 09/06/2022 12:32

;)

Starlightstarbright1 · 09/06/2022 12:43

Reminds me of a Joe Lycett clip i watched this morning where he wanted a salad and drink and the meal deal was cheaper. He couldn't have the meal deal without buying the cookie..

Charity shops are businesses with budget targets to meet so yes they just lost more money.

Original poster
JiggleJiggleFold · 09/06/2022 12:45

Starlightstarbright1 · 09/06/2022 12:43

Reminds me of a Joe Lycett clip i watched this morning where he wanted a salad and drink and the meal deal was cheaper. He couldn't have the meal deal without buying the cookie..

Charity shops are businesses with budget targets to meet so yes they just lost more money.

Can you explain how they lost more money when they recieved full asking price and would have still retained 80% of their stock to resell at further profit?

OP posts:
Trivester · 09/06/2022 12:48

I’ve had that issue before - sometimes it’s fine, sometimes it creates a catastrophe. I think you have to allow for different perceptions, abilities and experience when charity shopping. It’s a unique experience in every way!

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee · 09/06/2022 12:49

I think some of this might come down to your attitude when you spoke to her. I would be awkward with some smart arse that was mithering for two after I had explained that they were being sold as a set. As for donating the other four back, if you are smugly giving her them back, then I'd probably come over all jobs worthy too.
One of the reasons I don't work in a shop, because customers being arses would just get on my last nerve.

jubileetrain · 09/06/2022 12:49

skybluee · 09/06/2022 12:31

Would you do this in Tesco? Why not? The same principle works there.

I don't think it is. The business model is completely different.

Caramac555 · 09/06/2022 12:51

Well I just don't understand why you felt the need to keep going with the discussion. Once you'd asked her if she wanted the other 4 back to sell and she said no why did you press on? Do you just have to be seen as "right"?

Give her the 20 quid, take your figurines and quickly deposit the other 4 in another charity shop/bin/wrap them up for presents for someone you don't especially like or whatever. She probably gets enough people bending her ear if she works in retail

CandleSchtick · 09/06/2022 12:57

Why would people assume they are volunteers?

I volunteer in a very large well known national charity. Our shop is on two floors. We only have one paid manager, and she's not always there (lunchtime e.g.) Floor staff and backroom staff are not paid, and it would be extremely rare for a manager to be manning the till. They have the rest of the shop to run. I would assume anyone on the till to be a volunteer because I know how they work.

Original poster
JiggleJiggleFold · 09/06/2022 12:59

I really didn't have an attitude. I'm not that type of person. I hate confrontation.

I gave her my 20 and said I only really wnat the rat ones for my daughter, I'd like to donate these back to you. With a smile as I honestly thought she would be pleased to get the full 20 quid and still have stock to sell.

Obviously I don't have video of the exchange so its just my word but I go in there alot and have absolutely no reason to be rude to anyone in there.

OP posts:
diddl · 09/06/2022 13:00

JiggleJiggleFold · 09/06/2022 11:36

To make things even WEIRDER...

I've just been passed and the 4 figurines are in the window of the shop I bough them from 😂

I went in and asked in the shop I donated them in and apparently they are sister shops and share stock. Person had no idea why they were taken back to original shop though.

Funny though!!

That's hilarious.

I was going to post that she got what she wanted-rid of all 6 figurines-but apparently not!

HelloDaisy · 09/06/2022 13:00

I volunteer for a charity and sometimes people get “lost” in the process.

I was donating some stuff to a charity shop once and another lady who was browsing saw my rug and wanted to buy it. The manager said she couldn’t as it didn’t have a price tag on and they only do pricing on a Monday which was 4 days away so she’d have to come back then..
she wouldn’t budge on that and couldn’t see the ridiculousness of it so instead I sold it to the other lady and then put the money in their donation pot on the counter!

starfishmummy · 09/06/2022 13:02

Donating them elsewhere was the logical thing to do, I'd have just done it without trying to give them back to the original shop.

Well I can imagine that person might have got told off for selling 2 from a set of 6. Or if the manager had seen thst what was 6 had been resonated as a 4 they would perhaps suspect the assistant of theft.