At what age do your looks fade?

[Katie901]

I am coming up to 30 and really worried about this

It really depends on a lot of factors, genetics & how well you've looked after yourself play a key part.

I'm twice your age though & have seen some very long term friends, who didn't stand out so much in their 20s & 30s, absolutely blossom in their 50s & 60s. The one common factor I'd say is that they have all stated young at heart, socialise a lot, go to gigs etc & take an interest in their appearance, but have their own style, don't follow trends.

applecartsonthehill
Lol?

Is that to me? Competition isn't the motive on an anonymous thread. I just don't think validation about your appearance from random men is worth much.

You're jealous and it's obvious.

I don't need 'validation' from men. I know I'm attractive. I was pretty forthright about feeling I'd lost my looks quite a bit over the past few years, so not sure why you feel the need to be so catty. It's very sad."

My earlier post says I'm happy with my appearance, no loss of looks mentioned, so 'obvious' jealous hardly fits the bill does it. 🤣

You used the random men looking at you to feel validated. I find men who stare openly and obviously quite inappropriate and I dislike it.

Quite the opposite of putting women in their place @5128gap

I don't know you and have no idea what you look like . Hence I said I'm sure you look lovely, but...

I'm 50 and I'm still happy with how I look. I do look 50 but so what?

Other posters had referred to 'not turning heads' with their looks. My point was that I still do turn heads and get quite a bit of male attention, so even though I personally feel like my looks are fading, others seem to objectively find me reasonably attractive.

I'm not talking about being ogled by weird starey men on the street or cat called by builders. Perhaps that's the kind of attention you get? I'm talking about nice, normal men looking at me in that way you know full well means 'I fancy you'. Looking for that little tiny bit too long, the face lighting up, etc.

I get quite a lot of compliments from women, too, but I'm sure you'll tell me they're 'just being nice'.

There's your saucer of milk over there.

What happens so dramatically at menopause? I cant tell if my friends are going through it or have it ahead of them. Im 52 so it would be a some are /some arent kind of split.

I think the way i look at a face has changed. At 30, i probably did think that any lines at all 'spoiled' the face but i just dont see it that way anymore

Men may still feel that any lines "spoil" the looks, but i care less about what men think of beauty and more about my own perceptions and experiences.

All my friends look lovely and I like looking at their faces. Im not looking at any of thinking "what a shame".

I dont think 30 year olds understand that you can accept ageing as you go along.

I'm not talking about builders, I'm talking about normal men walking along holding their partners' hand etc.

Okay... 🤔

I've just recognised your username, so I'm not engaging further with your silliness, as it could go on for quite a while.

Massive difference between 42 and 48. Group photo of 15 of us flashed up and my god we had all aged during those few years. Thought I was past it late 30s but looking back was bloody gorgeous!

seriously?
How have you fallen so easily for this lie about how women should look?
Try not giving a shit about what anyone thinks about your face. Use the emotional energy for something positive.
It's very liberating.

People have referred to their attractiveness. By its very definition 'attractive' means the ability to attract other people.
This is an entirely different thing to looking in the mirror and bring happy with your own appearance, which is subjective, rooted in self confidence, and sometimes has limited correlation with how objectively attractive you are.
The only accurate measure of how attractive you are is the extent to which you are able to attract.
Recognising this is not the same as requiring it for validation of yourself as a person.

I'm 37 and men still turn around to look at me in the street, especially if I'm wearing anything nicer than jeans and a hoodie so I can't look too bad

That was too long to read if that was for me (there are quotes within quotes there). I originally commented on this post above @5128gap

I don't find men ogling on 'the street' validates my appearance. I dislike it, as do many people on Mumsnet going by the number of threads in the past.

You'd think this would be obvious, especially after I spelled it out, but some people seem to really struggle with basic logic.

It all got a bit silly after that, with the street oglers being declared as 'not builders' etc. Then I recognised the username!

I'm not engaging with that!

Yes, how very silly that I clarified that the men who look at me are normal, professional men in suits etc. rather than the men you seem to be thinking of, who sit on walls and whistle at every passing woman. When I go for an after-work drink to pubs in the City (and just in case you've never been to London before, this often means standing outside the pub, on the street), I notice glances and men checking me out.

As another PP posted out, the entire definition of 'attractive' is that other people also like the way you look. What you think about yourself is irrelevant. So yes, it is completely relevant to bring up other people's reactions to you in a thread about how attractive you are.

Just stop embarrassing yourself. Quit while you're behind.

I'm not talking about being ogled by weird starey men on the street or cat called by builders. Perhaps that's the kind of attention you get? I'm talking about nice, normal men looking at me in that way you know full well means 'I fancy you'. Looking for that little tiny bit too long, the face lighting up, etc.

This is the sort of oddness I refuse to engage with. It could go on all day I imagine.

God yeah, so odd. Imagine recognising when someone fancies you. So weird and alien.

You seem like a totally normal, well adjusted person.....not.

I'm not known for embarrassing myself, is all I'll say, unlike some.

About 40 but now as I approach 56 I think I'm stunning. Perhaps it's dementia!

Exactly this.

I read the threads on here and despair lately. Fucking hell.

I’m 54 and I’m starting to feel the “decline” now for the first time. I started working out more, quit smoking and drinking more water and engaging more into things that make me happy.

fu-k botox.

It is odd, yes. The narrative changed quickly from 'in the street' too.

I wouldn't have said anything if I'd spotted your name in that original post 🤣

Good God. Never. I look better now at 38 than I did at 21. You acquire knowledge, wisdom and inner beauty which is much better than smooth skin. Unless you're shallow and an idiot, but that shows through at any age.

"33goingon64
seriously?
How have you fallen so easily for this lie about how women should look?
Try not giving a shit about what anyone thinks about your face. Use the emotional energy for something positive.
It's very liberating.

Exactly this.

I read the threads on here and despair lately. Fucking hell."

This ^

I’m happiest in myself now (mid 40s) and that defo shines through. Trying to be objective (based on society’s ideas about looks alone) I would say I peaked 25-30. I grew into my face and lost puppy fat. I also worked out what suited me.

Of course at the time I didn’t appreciate what I had at all I was “too fat” even though I was wearing size 4-6 and it was the early 00s. Ffs

Only because you had to get your little dig in about how some men ogle at everyone. I clarified that that wasn't what I meant.

You might want to have a bit of a think about why a woman stating that men find her attractive bothers you so much. As several posters have pointed out, it's not a great trait. You've been brainwashed.

Your looks never fade. They just change. Everyone is beautiful, always. I truly believe that ❤️