To not ask my friend how she is right away?

[curiousitygotthebetterofme]

One of my friends tested positive for covid on a lateral flow on Monday and has posted about it a few times on her Facebook stories. She’ll know I’ve viewed each one but never asked her how she was.

I had covid back in December, I was ok, and I had mentioned it on one of my Facebook stories as I needed advice about it and she viewed the story but didn’t message me to ask how I was until about a week later.

I feel like I’m being petty, I probably am to an extent, but I have had issues with fake friends and I don’t want to be running after people. I do intend to ask her how she’s feeling but not just yet.

AIBU to do this?

YABU - just ask her how she is
YANBU - I guess if she did the same, just ask her in a few days

You are consciously considering this and that’s what I find so odd. Friends should care for each other rather than play odd mind games? If you feel she’s not a genuine friend walk away. YABU

I thought you had to be over 13 to have Facebook?

How do you have the time for all this non-drama?!

Sounds as though you are being petty. If you are a friend then just ask how she is. Or you can just act like a child. Either way I doubt she is going to dwell on it all that much.

Would you be going toward your values by just ignoring her out of spite?
What was the purpose of putting off asking? Do you think that she is going to be all that bothered?

Are there any reasons she may not have asked how you were when you were ill? People don't always know what to say or are just mindless. Is there any evidence that there was a sinister motive for not asking?

TBH I can kinda see why people have been unpleasant to you if this is the type of behaviour you engage in. You can be caring and understanding AND not be taken advantage of. Its not either/or.

Good luck!

I know it’s not the point of the thread, but people really do post some mundane shit on their SM don’t they?

A FB story asking something about your COVID? Fascinating…….

Covid can hit you hard even if vaccinated.
I wouldn't ask in FB but privately.
People can not see if you've looked at their FB page, at least that's what FB says.

Sounds to me like you’re not old enough to be using Facebook.

I wouldn't ask her. I had a 'friend' who lived close by. I came back from holiday last year and needed to isolate (I chose to go abroad. She was meant to come along and stay in my family villa- for free- and couldn't be arsed two days before and cancelled. Up to her and isolation is my problem). Any how, I came back and she gave me her best wishes for isolation, said she'd see me in 10 days. Didn't offer to get groceries (I mean, it's not her issue. I've had a nice holiday but if you want to make a point that you don't want a reciprocal friendship then go ahead. I was happy to manage my own needs).
Funny isn't it: she got Covid at a hockey dinner before Christmas and felt totally fine asking me for honey and lemon. I didn't even bother reading her message. Sort yourself out love. She's been dropping hints about how we should have a girls trip to my villa in the Algarve. I'll be going, darling. You won't.

You don't need these people in your life OP. You can manage without them.

If you post a ‘story’ on Facebook, you absolutely can see who’s viewed it.

Which is why I never click on people’s stories.

Insane level of drama over something nobody but you actually cares about. Your friend isn’t sitting there wondering why you haven’t asked how she is, because she’s got a life.

Forget the Covid thing. On the face of it, yes you're being petty, extremely so. But are you feeling that this is part of a pattern, that she does things when it suits her to do them, but expects you to do things when it suits her, ie straight away?

I do intend to ask her how she’s feeling but not just yet.

Who the hell plays weird games like this? Either she’s your friend - in which case you behave like a normal friend in return and observe normal social interactions like asking someone how they are when they say they’re ill/have contracted a disease - or she’s not, in which case you can spare her your power plays.

Sheesh.

All this asking how people are! 🙄What are you supposed to do if she's not well? Rush round with honey and lemon? If someone's genuinely ill I can understand it, but otherwise it's just a formality isn't it?

This sounds like game playing.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes!
Is it coming from a place where your feelings have been hurt though OP?

If it upset you then YABU two wrongs don't make a right and all that ...

Because you are doing it intentionally to be nasty

So because your friend didnt message you immediately when you were fine, you're going to do the same to her.

I hate to point it out OP, but your ego suggests she is sitting waiting for your input.