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AIBU?

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Original poster

Inheritance split - how to split when siblings have different numbers of children

447 replies

Benja1405 · 08/06/2022 15:22

Divorced parent died - two married sons in will, one has 3 children and one has 2. What do you feel is the fairest way for the estate to be split? Lawyer thought straight 50/50 between the two sons. Son with 3 children thinks 55/45 in his favour is fairer as he has more children. AIBU to think that this is unfair on the other son? Just interested in views, thanks.

OP posts:
BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 09/06/2022 19:52

50/50 for the two sons, it was their choice to have more children and that should not just automatically give them a financial advantage.

Phobiaphobic · 09/06/2022 19:56

50/50

Though I'd be tempted to leave a bit more to the other son just to piss of the entitled one trying to manipulate you.

lljkk · 09/06/2022 19:56

Pffft.
Most parents won't split it fairly, not really. I can't think of any inheritances (where I know details) where split was truly fair. All sorts of variations happen in reality.

Example, will says 50:50 but 20 years earlier parents spent some huge amount of money on one son and not the other. One grandchild is named as beneficiary on some pension pot fund and no others. etc.

I'm officially indifferent on what others do, battling with DH now what would be fair on DC. He says the £48k that was spent on DC2's education (nothing similar spent on others) is irrelevant, I disagree. <shrug>

Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 20:00

He says the £48k that was spent on DC2's education (nothing similar spent on others) is irrelevant, I disagree.
I think I'd tend to agree with him, tbh, certainly in a situation where all siblings were given the same opportunities but chose not to avail.
I wouldn't put education in the same category as a house deposit, or funding a wedding, for example.

Bleachmycloths · 09/06/2022 20:02

Definitely 50/50. Brother being cheeky and greedy. Suppose one sibling had no children and the other had 6 children? Stick to your guns.

lljkk · 09/06/2022 20:03

Yeah, we totally disagree, Johnnysgirl.
I feel very outraged on DC's behalf if they don't get some spending similar to DC2. DC2 would have achieved just as highly with cheaper education options.

Greenshed · 09/06/2022 20:04

Definitely 50/50. The inheritance is for the two sons to then do with as they wish, not based on how many children each have.

ArtVandalay · 09/06/2022 20:07

50/50 - the number of children is irrelevant.

CanaryWharf2 · 09/06/2022 20:08

Benja1405 · 08/06/2022 15:22

Divorced parent died - two married sons in will, one has 3 children and one has 2. What do you feel is the fairest way for the estate to be split? Lawyer thought straight 50/50 between the two sons. Son with 3 children thinks 55/45 in his favour is fairer as he has more children. AIBU to think that this is unfair on the other son? Just interested in views, thanks.

50:50, as it’s going to the children; the number of grandchildren is irrelevant.

Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 20:08

lljkk · 09/06/2022 20:03

Yeah, we totally disagree, Johnnysgirl.
I feel very outraged on DC's behalf if they don't get some spending similar to DC2. DC2 would have achieved just as highly with cheaper education options.

Did they turn down the same education that dc1 got?
I'm being nosy, it's not my business really...

Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 20:09

The other way round, sorry

whathappenedtomyemptynest · 09/06/2022 20:12

We have decided to leave each grandchild a nominal sum, and the remaining amount to be split 50:50 between our daughters.

Reigateforever · 09/06/2022 20:15

If it is between sons 50/50

If it is between sons and grandchildren
25/25 between sons and the other 50% between grandchildren.

a1poshpaws · 09/06/2022 20:16

50/50, obviously. The parent left the money to the sons, not the grandchildren: one of the sons decided on having more kids than the other - his choice. Bugger all to do with the other son!

FrankLampardsBrokenHand · 09/06/2022 20:18

If there isn't a will then 50/50 and its then up to each son whether they pass some of it on to their children.

Wallywobbles · 09/06/2022 20:27

Leave it to the grandchildren and cut out one lot of inheriting tax would be one method. Although in this case if there's a will it's irrelevant.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 09/06/2022 20:29

50/50! It's not to do with how many kids you have. Even if the other son had no kids I'd still say 50/50!

Oddbobbyboo · 09/06/2022 20:38

50/50

Stilsmiling · 09/06/2022 20:46

If there’s a will then that’s what to follow regardless of what the sons think is fair. A will is there to avoid such discussions.

If there is no will then the money goes to the two sons divided equally.

If you try to consider grandchildren then it can’t be fair. One son’s decision to have more children than his brother has decreased the brother’s inheritance 🤷🏼‍♀️

FortniteBoysMum · 09/06/2022 20:47

Tell your son it is your choice. Who is to say your other child will not go on to have more children or that their children will have more than your other child's children. If you wish to include grandchildren then do so as a fixed amount each. If you gave your son more for having more children it does not mean it will go to them he could blow all 55% on himself.

CastleCrasher · 09/06/2022 20:51

It has to be equal amounts to those listed unless it says otherwise.

So if the will names the sons, it's 50/50. If it names grandchildren, then 20% to each grandchild.

lljkk · 09/06/2022 20:56

No Johnnysgirl, they didn't want the same education experience.
So DH would say that the child who values privately-delivered education gets that just because ... they did.

Whereas the kid who is financially independent from 17/18 and plans to buy property at age 24 loses out... Basically my profligate spender child wins & the 3 frugal kids lose out.

I could make a case about why the way my dad+stepmom want to split their estate isn't fair (to me), but life is too short. It's their money. Plus I'm pretty sure the entire estate will (in reality) get frittered away on my nephew. <Shrug>

if I post more on this thread I'm just going to recount one story after another about unevenly split estates.

wentworthinmate · 09/06/2022 20:57

Thewayis · 08/06/2022 15:26

50/50

What if one had no kids, should they get nothing?!

Exactly my thought.

Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 21:01

lljkk · 09/06/2022 20:56

No Johnnysgirl, they didn't want the same education experience.
So DH would say that the child who values privately-delivered education gets that just because ... they did.

Whereas the kid who is financially independent from 17/18 and plans to buy property at age 24 loses out... Basically my profligate spender child wins & the 3 frugal kids lose out.

I could make a case about why the way my dad+stepmom want to split their estate isn't fair (to me), but life is too short. It's their money. Plus I'm pretty sure the entire estate will (in reality) get frittered away on my nephew. <Shrug>

if I post more on this thread I'm just going to recount one story after another about unevenly split estates.

I can see where you're coming from, certainly.
If it has been spent on anything other than education I'd agree with you. But I don't think you're necessarily wrong, either
<splinters in arse from sitting on the fence>

SpiderVersed · 09/06/2022 21:02

It depends.

If they are leaving their estate to the grandchildren and skipping their children, it should be the same proportion to each grandchild (5 grandkids? 20% each)

If they are leaving their estate to their offspring, half and half.