School concerns over not eating hot meal, WWYD?

[FoodConcernsFromThem]

DC is 7, Year 2. They would also qualify for FSM if not on Universal FSM due to their age so school rules are they are not offered the packed lunch option with the meals.

But DC is flat out refusing to eat a hot meal, even at home. They’ve said it takes them too long at school to eat.

School have relented and offered the sandwich but it’s literally 2 rounds of bread with filling and a piece of fruit and some water nothing else is offered.

At home DC is also refusing hot food saying they’re full up and don’t want it.
School is now saying they’re concerned because DC has always been on the small side and borderline underweight (we know their weight as they have regular checks for a condition they have)

I’m not as DC has always gone through phases of eating very little, I also think the hot weather we’ve been having has played a big part in their appetite.

WWYD or not do to help ease schools concern? They’re asking DC what they ate last night and DC will not lie so me lying to them won’t help.

Sorry but sounds like school are worried to be concerned, at that age they should be eating not than sandwiches (unless there’s medical reason)

We had this when 1 of mine was in primary, turns out the children with packed lunches ate separately, and were able to go out to play as soon as they had finished.
They changed the rules so that all children sat together to eat, and each table had to wait for the last person to finish before being able to play. It solved the problem re the hot meals.
But it does sound as if something else is going on with your DC, maybe ask the school what they do at school to encourage your DC to eat, and day you will try the same at home?

^more than

If the school lunch is inadequate can you supplement with snacks?
Does your dc just eat the school lunch and nothing else, or do they eat cold things in the evening just not hot food?

I'm not concerned really they do go through phases where they'll eat only sandwiches then they go through phases where I can't seem to fill them up and they'll eat massive portions of pasta or shephards pie, most of the time they're somewhere in between where they'll eat 1 hot meal and 1 lighter meal per day (as well as breakfast and a snack)

@Botoxbotox depeneds on their mood sometimes they'll eat nothing sometimes they'll have a sandwich or some crumpets or something.

I do send in a packed lunch but DC generally when going through this phase eats the same amount, the sandwich and the fruit.

I know you said they have a medical condition but I'd probably be seeing a GP about this. If my child ate just a sandwich, piece of fruit and a crumpet in 24 hours, and was slightly underweight I'd be concerned.

@Botoxbotox They always eat breakfast, usually eggs on toast or porridge or similar, plus fruit.

They also usually have a snack at morning playtime; usually cucumber and carrot sticks but sometimes an apple or orange

School have relented and offered the sandwich but it’s literally 2 rounds of bread with filling and a piece of fruit and some water nothing else is offered
What would you have them offer?!

Why can't you send in something yourself that you know he'll eat, instead of allowing him to waste the food every day?

@Johnnysgirl I pack a sandwich, yogurt or jelly, fruit and a small biscuit like a penguin, DC doesn't always eat it though.

Where are you in the country? Hot weather seems a bit unlikely ATM. Are you sure you're not looking for reasons?

IME, if a school is concerned about a child that's because there is cause for concern. Sorry if that's not what you'd like to hear. GP visit?

So they eat well in the morning. That's good. But still sounds not enough calories over all?

I'd take no notice. If you feel you DC has plenty of energy, is growing well then I cant see there's anything worry about. DS ate like a sparrow when he was in primary school, was skinny as a whippet but was always on the go. He hated hot school dinners (they weren't very nice to be fair) and his favourite tea was always a 'snack tea' (cucumber, cheese, crackers, grapes etc).

He's 13 now and eats me out of house and home!

Oh ok. I didn't see this. Perhaps you just have a very stop/start eater.

I had this when DD was at primary school. She just wouldn't eat school dinners and hardly touched her packed lunch. The issue was that the hall was too small to accommodate all the pupils so they had two sittings of 20 minutes, and DD was a slow eater so she never got a chance to finish what she was eating.

You have my sympathy.

I don't think a sandwich and fruit is that bad for lunch? I am surprised school are flagging that.

I'd probably do them a packed lunch and then try and change things on the home front instead as it's easier to vary things/provide more of a selection do DC picks at more, even if they don't want a full meal.

I think the school's right to worry, but it sounds more like time for a trip to the doctor rather than anything you or the school should be doing differently. Your child needs to eat and it sounds like they're lacking in appetite which isn't normal for a healthy kid who runs around etc. I'd be pressing the doc to give them the once over and maybe blood tests to make sure all is well.

OP it sounds like your lo has a very limited diet? You mention few sources of protein such as meat/fish/beans, only eggs/milk, and almost no veg. Ultimately school are likely concerned with good reason if what they are seeing is a borderline underweight child with a seemingly very limited range of foods they will eat. School can only go on what they see in front of them and it's concerning. Can you work on encouraging DC with very small portions of different meals to see if you can broaden their diet? Can you get them a bit involved in preparation of their meals?

Tell school they are getting a hot meal, the eggs and porridge they're having for breakfast.

A lot of DC don't like what is served for school lunches or it takes too long to queue up for and eat and they just want to go out to play.

You missed about about the carrot sticks and the cucumber sticks then in the snacks ?
children don’t need a massively varied diet I had one kid she wouldn’t touch fruit for the entire childhood miraculously turned 18 and now tucks into broccoli etc with enthusiasm.

there are some adults that go with entire adult life without ever consuming any greenery my father is 74 Fit is a fiddle would rather die then eat a vegetable.

I think the school quizzing your child is probably making matters worse. You say your child has regular checks for another condition, would they be able to refer to a dietitian? I would expect the dietitian would think your DC is eating a good variety and it would be more for advice for school. As in do not make a big deal of food, offer opportunities but don't force etc.

One of mine is similar in that he doesn't really eat a complete hot meal, but he eats a good variety and amount of food over the day. It's just not in a standard meat and 3 veg way.

My daughter was a slower eater and I work at the same school she attends (not that it's really relevant, but I could actually see the positive changes), she was told to come along to the front of the line each time along with children who have allergies/special diet so that she could have a big chunk of time. She eats normally now, but we do still see this in school. It could be your little one needs to go to the front and needs smaller portions. It could also be that they're talking to other children and not focusing on eating. I think it's great that they're communicating with you about it and are willing to try and accommodate it. It's not a you Vs them situation, you're all on team your DC.

just give your child a sandwich and a piece of fruit if that’s all they want, they’ll soon get bored. There are worse things to eat than sandwiches and fruit, I wouldn’t worry, I used to have fads when I was young I’ve not turned in to a faddy adult.

In your shoes I’d probably….

1. speak to your child GP or Peadiatrian if they have one. Raise the food issues, ask for advice then follow it. Ok you’re not concerned but what harm would seeking advice do and it shows you have taken schools concerns seriously.

2. I would tell the school what is offered at home and then ask what they plan to do about providing adequate food at school if the lunch they provide is so basic.

thing is there are children who don’t get fed. So schools have to be vigilant.

I also think the hot weather we’ve been having has played a big part in their appetite
I’m more jealous of your hot weather! Where are you? It’s been unseasonably cool (and wet) here for ages.

Would your DD eat soup? It’s nutritious but still a light meal and makes a change from carby/sugary bread and crumpets.